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It was hard to sum up who Jack was into a few sentences. I knew that no matter how I played it, Rachel was bound to ask a thousand questions, so I rewound back to the beginning and laid out the entire story for her, starting from the moment I’d spotted him running down the beach, and ending with the argument we’d had on the back patio.
“—and I haven’t heard from him since,” I concluded, right as we reached the back deck.
Rachel had been stuffing her face full of scones all the way back, pausing to add her reactions in between bites as I’d unfolded the story, but my stomach was still rumbling. She set the large box of pastries on the back table and I popped open the top to retrieve my breakfast.
Rachel threw herself into one of the teak wood chairs and stretched her legs out. “And you didn’t tell me any of this before because…?”
I shrugged and took a bite to buy myself some time. “I didn’t know what you would think.”
“That’s bull, Holly. You know I would have been happy for you! How long have I been telling you it’s time to put yourself back out there?”
“Well, I can officially say I tried,” I said, sighing as I lowered into the chair next to hers. “And failed, I might add. Major crash and burn.”
Rachel shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
I arched a brow in her direction. “Were you listening at all? I basically told him he was a booty call and told him we didn’t have a future.”
She laughed. “Okay, well when you put it that way, you’re right. It’s not great. But still, you gave it a chance. You actually let your guard down long enough to meet someone. And that’s a huge first step.”
“You think?”
“Hell yeah!”
I looked ahead, watching the waves as we both snacked our way through half the box of pastries. After a while, I voiced the one nagging thought that was still rolling around my head. “But, Rach, what do I do now?”
She slipped her sunglasses down to look at me. “Whatever you want.”
I sighed. “I don’t think it’s that easy.”
“Why not?”
“Because I want him.” The confession came out in a way that surprised even me.
Rachel smiled and pushed her glasses back up. “Then tell him that.”
“Just like that?” I asked, laughing at how easy she made it sound.
“God, Holly, people mess up. It happens. So, the best thing you can do is go find him and let him know you made a mistake. From what you’ve said, he seems like the kind of guy who would appreciate your honesty and might be willing to give it another chance.”
“But what if he doesn’t?”
Rachel reached over and set her hand on my arm. “First, I don’t think that’s going to happen. He’d be insane to give up that easily. And if he does, then he isn’t the kind of guy you need anyway.”
I nodded slowly, processing her advice.
It made sense, but there was still a hang-up; I had to figure out what I really wanted before I went to see him. I couldn’t just show up with an apology. I knew he needed more.
And that was going to take a little time to figure out.
18
Jack
“Hey Boomer, can ya hand me that washer?” Aaron called over to me as soon as I entered the hanger where he’d been working most of the morning. He craned around at the sound of my footsteps, and jerked his chin down at the ground, his hands occupied with the parts he was working with from the WWII plane he’d bought at the auction.
I glanced down at the pile of the pieces he’d already disassembled, all laid out on a shop towel by his feet. I picked up the washer he’d asked for and handed it over. “So, listen, Player, it looks like I’m gonna be taking off a little earlier than I’d planned.”
He kept his eyes trained on the plane, his jaw tensing as he twisted the wrench in his hand. “You get called back?”
I hesitated for a beat. “Yeah.”
It was a lie. In reality, I’d spent half a week wondering what the fuck had happened between Holly and me and had reached the point where I had to admit defeat and accept I was never going to figure it out. I’d also decided that even if I could figure it out—there was nothing I could do to change it anyway. The outcome would remain the same. I was shipping out for six months. And Holly had a whole ‘nother life in Southern California.
Plus, there was the opportunity in Germany I’d been thinking of since my leave had started. And there was zero chance I could make a relationship work with Holly—or anyone else for that matter. I’d most likely be looking at a three-year delay in any future plans.
