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***
When I woke up some time later, the doctor was staring at me with a creepy but professional smile. “Good news Mandy. We’re letting you out today.”
“Great.” I could go home to my tiny apartment and do absolutely nothing with a broken arm and sore ribs.
Then came more good news. “Unfortunately, you will be in that cast for at least six to ten weeks. No work at all during that time, and we’ll discuss it more when you’re well enough to start therapy.” More good news as he spoke. No work. No cooking. No laughing or fucking. No living.
Nothing.
“Super.” I murmured.
He gave me a sympathetic smile that made me want to scream. “You’re young, Mandy. There’s no reason you won’t heal completely if you commit to it. I’ll get that paperwork started if you want to call someone to pick you up.”
“Do you have my phone?” I hadn’t thought about it before now because I didn’t need it, then the nurse who was checking my vitals pulled a large plastic bag from the closet.
“Here you go dear. If you need anything else, buzz me.”
“Thank you.” My voice was soft, broken in gratitude as I watched them both leave. Despite my complaining, they’d done so much for me. Yet, I was alone again and though it was the way I’d spent most of my life, it now felt stifling and uncomfortable. So loud and in my face about how alone I was.
But there was nothing to be done about it because despite what Jana and Teddy thought, Savior’s absence told me everything.
I picked up my phone, grateful to whoever had powered it off, and placed a reservation for a cab ride in two hours. It was how I’d always gotten around until I’d bought a car when I moved back to Vegas. I was used to it. Completely self-sufficient.
Because, well, I had to be.
And the more I thought about it, the more leaving Las Vegas sounded just about perfect. Relying on people, making connections was great, for other people. But I was worried that relying on people might make me forget who I was.
Strong.
Capable.
Alone.
***
“I know you’re in there, Pixie. Open up!” Savior’s voice came out loud enough to drown out the comedy special playing on TV but the pounding on the door shook the walls. “I’ve got all day.”
I let out a long sigh at the thought of getting up. The pain pills worked but not enough. I’d spent the past two days only moving when absolutely necessary. I’d put off going to the bathroom or the kitchen until I couldn’t stand it any longer, and I slept in the same spot I was now sitting in on my sofa. “Go away, Savior.”
“No. Don’t make me break this door down.”
That’s just what I needed, to get kicked out before I planned to move out anyway. I’d already given my landlord my thirty-day notice but I knew I’d need every one of those days to stay put with my injuries.
I sucked in a long, deep breath and let it out slowly as I stood and made my way to the door. I flipped the lock and twisted the knob before turning back to the sofa. My skin was already damp from the effort it took to breathe deeply and stand. Though my eye was no longer swollen shut, a good thing, the huge, ugly green and yellow bruise didn’t do me any favors.
“What do you want?” I called to him as I made my way back to my cocoon.
“I brought you a few things.”
I was busy getting myself settled on the couch again and didn’t look at him, at the smile I heard in his voice. I hadn’t seen him in a few days and hadn’t planned on seeing him again. “I have everything I need but thank you.”
When I finally looked up he froze and stared at me with a confused and hurt look on his face. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately.”
I eased back into the couch, waiting for the pain to settle after all that movement. “Don’t be. I told you before, not your responsibility.” I didn’t want to be anyone’s responsibility or another item on their list of things they had to do. By now, I knew that’s how he would always see me.
“It’s not that, I —”
I cut him off. “It’s fine, Savior. You have a life and I don’t need an explanation, but I do appreciate the thought.”
