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"You got it," he confirmed. "Because I'm... an expert on the subject.... I know... what you're cheating... yourself of.... I just found out the full extent of it... when you walked in. I was a damned fool.... Don't be the same...."
She said nothing for a minute, just stared at him, and the myriad of emotions crossing her face told him he'd struck home.
"I didn't mean... to upset you...."
"You didn't," she assured him, her tone deceptively light. "I hear this on a daily basis from my assistant. She lectures me about being a workaholic, insisting that it's the unhealthiest of lifestyles."
"She's right… You grow old... alone."
"Is that why you wanted to meet me?" Sabrina asked. "You think you're growing old alone? Because that's certainly not what the media reports."
"There's alone... and there's alone." He was beginning to fade, but dammit, he had to finish. "I have a full life.... Ruisseau... Susan... And Dylan's like a son. But no continuity... I didn't realize... until recently. Then I started thinking... that you might be out there.... Had to know..."
Moisture dampened Sabrina's lashes, and she quickly blinked it away. "I think you should rest. Contrary to what you believe, a lot of people care about you. Dylan, for one. And Ms. Lane, who from what I hear hasn't left the hospital since yesterday."
"Susan's great." Carson was stunned to taste the salt of his own tears. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried, if ever. "But a relationship... at my stage... is something different.... It's not a family... kids.... I wish I'd realized... sooner. Don't... make that mistake." He didn't wait for her to answer. "I want to... get to know you. I realize... I have no right... but think about it. Discuss
it with your mother... if you need to." His jaw set. "And don't do it... because I might die. Do it because you want to... and so do I."
"I will. I'll think about it. I—I've got to go." Sabrina rose, her motions jerky and her eyes damp.
"Don't cry."
"I'm not." She needed to lie to protect herself. Carson understood. She wasn't ready to bare or share emotions yet. It was too soon. Hell, he hadn't known he possessed these kind of feelings himself until now.
"I'm not crying," she repeated, seeing the knowing look on his face. "My eyes are just watering. It's the antiseptic smells. Hospitals do that to me."
"Yeah... to me, too."
"Sabrina has a heightened olfactory sense," Dylan contributed, joining the conversation for the first time. "I told her it must be hereditary."
Carson marveled at the wonder of genetics. "I guess it must be." He reached out a hand, touched Sabrina's sleeve as she turned to go. "Will you... be back?"
She swallowed, gazing at him for a moment before she nodded. "Yes. I'll come by later. I can't promise more than that."
"I understand." He was relieved he'd gotten this much. And he was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open. "Then... later..."
"Fine. Now get some sleep." She headed for the door.
Dylan leaned over the bed. "I'll be back in a while," he said quietly. "I just want to get Sabrina to her hotel."
Carson nodded. "Good. Make sure she's okay." His lids drooped. "We'll talk... when you get back."
CHAPTER 9
Dr. Radison was waiting outside ICU when Dylan and Sabrina emerged.
"How did it go?" he asked.
"Fine. It went fine," Sabrina replied dazedly. She felt exhausted and too off-balance to speak, much less go into detail.
"He's still so damned weak," Dylan reported. "And his breathing's labored."
"We need to talk about that. Mr. Brooks's chest is filling up with fluid. He's fighting an infection, and he's losing. The chest tube's going back in this afternoon. The respirator and ET tube will probably follow suit tonight. Tomorrow morning I'm going in and removing the bullet."
Dylan tensed. "You said that would be risky because of where it's located."
"Not as risky as leaving it. Not at this point."
