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"Not the women."
A cautious light dawned in Rem's eyes. "What is it you want to know, then?"
"About your years at sea. About your career in the Royal Navy. About whatever pain has caused you to be afraid to care."
Shutters descended. "That part of my life is over. I'd rather not discuss it."
"You gave me your word."
"Why is it so important to you?" Rem held up his hand to ward off her reply. "Never mind. I know the answer. You want to know everything about me. Well, sweetheart, it's just not that simple. There are things you wouldn't— couldn't—understand."
"Try me."
"You're too sheltered to understand and too beautiful to be tainted with that kind of ugliness."
"I'm already being tainted by it. It's keeping me away from you. As far as sheltered . . ." Sammy inhaled slowly. "I'm not nearly as sheltered as you suspect."
Rem inclined his head. "What does that mean?"
"This last war with America ... did you spend most of it at sea?"
"Only a small portion of it." Rem had long since memorized this particular reply. "I wasn't as experienced in American waters as some of our other captains. So I served sporadically, whenever I was needed. The rest of the time I helped train new officers so England's navy would remain strong."
"You were a hero," Sammy stated emphatically. "I remember reading about you."
A smile touched Rem's lips. "What does my service during the recent war have to do with your sheltered existence?"
"Scandal reaches everyone, whether at home or at sea. I merely wondered how much of the Barrett horror story you heard firsthand and how much you learned later."
"I know bits and pieces," Rem answered vaguely.
"You needn't protect me. I know every last horrid detail, including some I doubt you know." Sammy lowered her eyes. "My brother Sebastian is an immoral criminal who has spent the past three years in Newgate for murder."
Rem wrapped his arms about her. "I wasn't certain how much Drake allowed you to learn."
"Drake would have preferred I be exposed to as little as possible. Unfortunately, it was hardly his decision to make; not with all of England buzzing with the ugly scandal. I was fifteen ... hardly an oblivious infant. It was horrible; worse than that.
"In any case, you know all those sordid details already. Here's something you don't know; something Drake did manage to keep quiet." Sammy drew a slow inward breath. "Sebastian also tried to kill Drake. He was involved in a plot to sink Drake's ship and annihilate not only Drake, but his entire crew. All to possess the coveted title of the Duke of Allonshire."
"Damn," Rem swore softly. His reaction wasn't grounded in the shock Samantha assumed it was, for none of what she'd just disclosed was a revelation to him. He'd been privy to Drake's brush with death, just as he'd been privy to every sea-related incident that had taken place in British or American waters during the War of 1812. But never in his wildest dreams had he imagined Samantha knew the extent of Sebastian's cold-blooded depravity.
"Thank heavens Drake survived ... although his ship did not," Sammy continued, her voice quivering. "But no one knew Drake was alive ... not for weeks. The missive that reached Allonshire proclaimed him and his entire crew to be missing at sea and presumed dead."
"I remember. The Times carried the story."
"Perhaps it carried the story, but it couldn't express the torment I experienced. No newspaper could convey my sense of desolation, the sheer terror of realizing I was utterly alone. My mother had died when I was a child, my father was ailing, near death, and my brother—the only brother I ever loved and who loved me—was gone forever. Sebastian didn't give a damn for me, or for anyone else, for that matter. My sense of loss, my pain, were unendurable. How I wished I'd gone down with Drake and his ship." Sammy raised damp eyes to Rem. "Now does that sound to you like a sheltered young girl who has never known anguish?"
Rem felt a rush of protectiveness so powerful it hurt. "I wish I'd been there."
"I know." Sammy brushed aside her tears, taking Rein's hand in hers. "But it's all behind me now, and I didn't resurrect it to elicit your sympathy. I had a reason. Two reasons, in fact. First, so you'd see my life has not been merely a gilded fairy tale. And second, so you could gain the same all-important insight I did and apply it to your past as I did to mine."
"And what is this insight, my magnificent dreamer?"
"That out of grief comes joy. That you can never lose faith in love or life." Sammy smiled through her tears. "From the vestiges of my suffering came my life's richest blessings. Not only did Drake return to me, but he brought his bride with him. Alex is both mother and sister combined, as well as the most loving and nurturing of friends. And do you know what else? She and Drake had unknowingly conceived Gray during their fateful trip. Seven months later, he was born. They named him in honor of our father, Grayson." A twinkle. "Actually, Drake couldn't dispel his customary arrogance completely. Gray's entire name is Drake Grayson Barrett. But we've always called him Gray. And now we have Bonnie, too. So you see, joy can be born of tragedy. For me ... and for you."
"You're too beautiful for this world," Rem murmured, a tremor in his voice.
"Share yourself with me," Sammy whispered. "Please. Give me a chance to heal the pain."
