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He finally cracked a real grin. “If you’re sure.”
“My OB-GYN confirmed it.”
The grin faded. “Christ,” he groaned. “You even have an OB-GYN that I didn’t find for you and whom I’ve never met, and I haven’t given you any sort of support or—”
“Dane.” I held his gaze unwaveringly. “I chose to keep this from you so that you could do what you have to do. The reason I was at Kyle’s aunt’s retreat is because she’s an M.D. and she contracts with really great specialists. I like my doctors—they’re all wonderful. Trust me when I say I have been well taken care of and that everything with the baby is just fine.”
“Except that you’re going through this alone.”
“I’m not alone.”
His jaw clenched.
I blew out a breath. Oops.
He stepped around me and stalked to the door.
“Where are you going?” Though I already knew.…
Panic seized me.
He flung the door open and I chased him down the corridor. Before we reached the main portion of the house, though, he whirled back around. I followed him as he returned to our suite. He slammed the door shut behind us.
I jumped. “Please don’t do that. I experienced enough slamming doors when growing up to last a lifetime.”
“Kyle knows,” he simply said. But his eyes told me he had much more to say on the subject. They burned with torment.
“Of course Kyle knows,” I said in a quiet voice. “He was the one to suggest the retreat when I was so sick.”
“When you were sick.”
He was so twisted with guilt, it made my heart hurt. I rested a hand on his arm and said, “You made some choices independently of me. I did the same. We had no choice. Neither of us did it in a conniving way—we did it to protect each other. We did what we thought was right. Okay, yes, I’m pregnant. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but if I had … The FBI wouldn’t be this close to busting apart the secret society that only intends to do more damage for the sake of their own bottom lines.”
“I’m supposed to be in control of what happens with us, Ari—with your safety.” His agitation mounted.
“Dane, I could slip and fall on wet tile, hit my head, and die tomorrow. You can’t control that. As much as you want to contain the environment in which I’m in until the danger passes, there is never going to be a one-hundred-percent guarantee. That’s not how life works, no matter how much money, influence, or power you have. We learned that with the Lux, didn’t we?”
I could see how torn up he was about all of this. Ready to spit nails if I gauged accurately. His fists clenched at his sides and I knew he was all kinds of pissed off.
Searching my brain for some way to placate him was futile. I didn’t blame him for the way he felt. I was pissed off myself. With the situation and with the fact that the urge to confront Wayne and get him to admit to all the damage he’d done practically burned a hole through my heart.
As I thought of this, there was a knock on the door. I was instantly taken aback, pretty certain Dane had told Amano not to disturb us—ever—when we were in the bedroom.
That thought, of course, made my cheeks flush.
Dane called out, “Yes?”
“It’s urgent. A call you’re going to want to take.”
Tenderly gripping my biceps again, Dane said, “I couldn’t be happier that we’re having a baby. I hate the timing and the circumstances. But I love you. More than anything. And I want this baby.”
I opened my mouth to speak. He cut me off.
“Ari, anything could go wrong at this point. You have to realize and accept that. And if things go bad for me, you have to stay strong for our child. The way you have so far.” He kissed me fiercely, then added, “You truly amaze me. And I know I have to do everything I can to put an end to all of this so that I can be with you from here on out.”
I smiled weakly as tears crested my eyes. “I’m glad you’re happy about the baby. I’m … so happy. All I want is to protect our child, Dane. But I need you to not be distracted. We have Amano. And Kyle is a huge help. We’re okay here. You can’t think about us when you walk out that door.”
He stared at me for endless seconds. I knew that what I said was literally an impossibility, but I needed that pledge from him.
