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I gazed at Amsel, nestled in my arms, completely, contently zonked out. Trusting me to keep him safe.
Tears suddenly burned my eyes, the emotional impact of the past year intensifying now that Dane had returned to us. And the fact that we now had to confront how everything that had happened had changed our relationship.
I said, “You don’t have to shout, ‘I’m alive!’ from the rooftops. The media will spill soon, anyway. Mikaela should know. She’s been in your life since you were both children. This isn’t something you should keep from her any longer. Or let her find out from someone else.” I gave this further thought and added, “She doesn’t even know we’re married. I never told her. Nor does she know we have a child together.”
“I’m not happy about all of the secrecy, but I’m still trying to play this hand to the best of our advantage. Mikaela is one more innocent bystander.” He took a few additional seconds to consider the situation, then said, “All right. We’ll include her. We’ll just have to find some sensible way to break the news to her that I didn’t incinerate with the lobby of the Lux.”
* * *
Later, I caught up with Kyle in the kitchen, making dinner, while Dane and our son were busy working on a new dangling mobile. That entailed Dane crafting and Amsel cooing. I didn’t bother explaining to my husband that the baby cooed over everything. Dane would figure it out on his own soon enough. And that would turn into an amusing tale I looked forward to hearing.
“What can I do to help?” I asked Kyle as he set out veggies.
“The salad should be mixed greens and romaine, asparagus tips, avocado, broccoli, cherub tomatoes, onion, and mushrooms. There’s green goddess dressing already whipped up and in the fridge.”
“I think I can handle this.”
Meanwhile, he prepped a pork tenderloin that looked to die for before he’d even popped it into the oven. As it cooked, he sliced apples and baked them. The aroma in the kitchen had me salivating. Unfortunately, my good mood came to a grinding standstill when Dane appeared in the kitchen.
Not that he was gritchy. In fact, he looked taken aback—and I didn’t get the sense it had anything to do with Kyle and me cooking together. Especially as Dane handed over the baby to Kyle, who sat at the island, sipping a beer as the food baked.
“Something wrong?” I asked. I read Dane that well, which became the source of my instant consternation.
Dane looked as though he couldn’t quite compose himself. That was odd unto itself.
Had he reconsidered the baptism? Or letting Mikaela in on our secrets—all of them?
“Dane?”
“Let’s take a walk, shall we?”
I exchanged a look with Kyle, cuddling the baby, as my nerves suddenly jumped. More Wayne drama? What?
I pulled in a long breath. On a slow exhale to prepare myself for anything, a deeply disturbing thought flitted through my mind.
Had Dane learned of my mother’s latest extortion effort? The New York agent, the ghostwriter, the book?
Because Dane liked my dad so much, he would be as furious as I was that she’d go to this extreme.
Worse, Dane would wig because he’d done a damn good job of taking care of the problem initially. Until my mother thought he was dead—that was when she’d come back at Dad and me hard, because she didn’t have Dane to worry about.
He was foreboding; Dad and I were not.
“Fuck,” I mumbled under my breath. I shot a look toward Kyle and mouthed, My mother.
He went a little pale. Not at the thought that she was some monstrous creature to fear—though I was actually beginning to think that might be the case—but because he obviously had pieced together the fact that enough was enough as far as Dane was concerned. And this discussion wasn’t going to be a pretty one.
I didn’t disagree with that sentiment. But I wasn’t quite sure what Dane’s breaking point with my own parent might entail.
Even beyond that was the concern that my breaking point might be even more tenuous. He could at least tolerate her. Yes, I knew he’d love to bestow upon her that ultimate if you ever make my wife cry again … threat, but he curbed his aggression for my sake.
However, as it related to my feelings on the subject, after that visit from my dad—when he had yet again been put in that humiliating place where he had no idea who was going to find out how many men his wife had slept with while married to him and he was about to be thrust into the turmoil it had taken decades to escape—I wasn’t sure I could approach this ongoing issue with a cool head.
A huge part of me wanted to tell Dane to deal with it in the most absolute terms.
Conversely, I didn’t want to know what those terms might be.
Not that he’d physically harm my mother. That was a given. But he definitely had menacing down to a science, and it was possible she’d check into her own witness protection for fear of him.
