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I sigh as I look into her eyes. “Seems like we can’t stay away.”
Zooey raises her eyebrows. She’s not avoiding my gaze anymore. “Seems that way.”
“Don’t you think it might be time to admit to ourselves that this is what we want?” I ask her gently. “You can’t keep running from the truth, and neither can I. I realized that yesterday. Even when I try and stay away...well, I can’t. You’ve changed me, Zooey.”
“You’ve changed me too,” she says quietly. “And you know how much I want this. But sometimes we don’t get what we want. It’s as simple as that.”
“It doesn’t have to be. We’re both adults. We can make our own decisions. Fuck everyone else. Fuck what they say about us. It’s not their place to say who we are going to be with.”
“It might be easy for you to betray the trust of the people around you, but it’s not for me,” Zooey says, a tinge of anger in her voice. “My father isn’t perfect, but I don’t want to let him down by going behind his back. I’m not that kind of girl. So last night...well, it must have been a mistake. A blip. That kind of behavior isn’t me.”
“The kind of behavior where you go after what you want?” I growl. “Don’t try and tell me I don’t care about people’s feelings. It’s not true. I just care about yours more. Can’t you see that?”
I’ve left her stumped by my comment. I guess she wasn’t expecting to hear a heartfelt response. But if I’m going to put everything on the line for her, I guess I should be honest. She shifts a little and for a moment, I’m certain she’s going to come closer to me, but then she seems to think better of it. She shakes her head at me.
“Even if that’s true, I can’t just risk everything for you. It’s too much. I’ve only known you for a few days.”
“But you want to. Why shouldn’t you do what you want? It’s like you said, your father doesn’t even take an interest in you. Why are you so scared of hurting him when he’s done nothing but hurt you?”
Her mouth opens to argue back, but she shuts it quickly. She knows I’m right. I lean forward, getting a little closer to her to cup her cheek.
“I could make you happy. More than some dumb boy your age,” I growl. “I want you, Zooey. Don’t leave me hanging. You know we could be so good together. Why won’t you even consider giving this a chance.”
She leans into my hand for a moment. I know she wants to listen to me. I know she wants to believe that I’m right. But I also know that upturning her whole life for someone she has known for two days is a risky move. I know it because I’m in the same position. But for me, there’s even more at stake. I’m closer to her father than she ever has been. I’m his business partner too, and that puts my livelihood at risk. But I would do anything to make her mine. I’d do anything to keep her at this point. Today has proved that much to me.
But she clearly doesn’t agree, because she pulls away from me sharply, clambering out of the hot tub. I swear under my breath and try to follow her as fast as I can. She’s left her shoes behind in her hurry to get away from me, and I have to chase her across the garden like a mad man. But I can’t let her go without some closure. In fact, no. I can’t let her go at all.
When I turn the corner to the main garden, however, she’s already gone. I curse again, but I know that it’s for the best. I need to calm down before I speak to her. Besides, making a scene in front of everyone will make this worse. At least now, I’ve given her some food for thought. At least I’ve let her know what’s going on in my mind. That’s the least I can do to persuade her that I’m worth the risk.
I sigh, leaning against the wall. After all the drama, I could use a beer. After everything that’s happened these few days, I feel the need for it more than ever. But I can see Lawrence heading toward me and I know it’s going to have to wait. It’s almost as though he’s been looking for me for a long time, the way he approaches me. He smiles and sighs, leaning on the wall beside me.
“What a party, right?” he says cheerily. “Everyone seems to be enjoying it.”
Everyone, but me and your daughter, I think to myself. I don’t think he’s even noticed that this isn’t our scene at all. It’s like he doesn’t know either of us, even if we’re meant to be the most important figures in his life.
