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My whole mindset was changed tonight because, babbbby, it is real. Even as I drove home, I kept checking my phone every two minutes to see if Billionaire had texted me to ask for my address, so he could come over. I needed that feeling again. I wanted to be wrapped in his arms and kissing him again.
It wasn’t even the fact that in less than ten minutes, he had given me three orgasms back to back. Instead, I could see in his eyes that he did care about me. I saw how angry he’d gotten when I was standing there, trying to break up with him. I was now convinced that he would not hurt me, and I wanted to see if I could give us a chance. I knew I would have to toughen up, though, because if I didn’t, I would lose a good man.
I’m talking about a man parading me around the whole party tonight and telling people I was his wife. I didn’t hear him use the term girlfriend, at all tonight. Even when I met his mother, he told his mother I was his wife. He did the same thing with his father, his grandmother, and all his homeboys. His family was so accepting of me, making me feel like I had been stressing and worrying about tonight for no reason. I just wished that my father welcomed Billionaire with open arms as his family did with me. His mother was smiling ear to ear, all night, telling Billionaire every chance she got that she liked me for him. Same thing with his father and his grandmother.
His parents liking me should have been all the validation I needed, but no, I still let his baby mothers trigger me. I met both of his children, but it was brief because they were too busy having fun, running around with the other kids in attendance. Billionaire had such beautiful children. His son was literally his twin. I felt like I was just staring at a miniature version of him. His daughter, Khari, she didn’t have many features from Billionaire because she looked so much like her mother. I let one negative thing that happened tonight knock negate the positives that took place, and for that, I had to know that I was tripping big time.
When I pulled up to my home, it was well after midnight, almost one o’clock. There was a car parked in my driveway that I knew all too well. I sighed, wondering why he was there. It was my father, and we hadn’t spoken since last week at my book signing. I didn’t even attend church service the following Sunday. Neither did I go to Bible study on Wednesday. I’ll be the first to say it is a free country, and I am welcome to go anywhere I please, so my father telling me I was no longer allowed at his church was not the reason I didn’t show up. I just felt like things were still so fresh, and we needed time to just not be around each other. I couldn’t believe that I allowed him to keep me from attending church because I religiously went every Sunday. I did, however, watch the service online because they always streamed it live, but it wasn’t the same as actually being there.
That Sunday, I just couldn’t believe he had the nerve to preach about family and how we should love our family, yet he was treating me like an enemy.
My mother had been calling and telling me that she was talking to my father and trying to get him to calm down. Do you know this lady had the nerve to say to me, “Well, Normani, since it’s still early between you and Billionaire, maybe you should just call it quits with him. I’m only saying this because it is affecting you and your father’s relationship.”
Her telling me that just made me so angry. I got it, he was the man in their marriage. I knew a man was the head of the household, and it was their job to lead, but there also needed to be a time when my mom stepped up and let her husband know that he was wrong. I would respect my father as a man so much more if he just said he didn’t like Billionaire, and that he wasn’t the one for me, but he would allow me the chance to see if I would get hurt in this relationship or if it would actually work out. But for him to be disrespectful not only to him but to me as well,
it just left me disappointed in him as a whole. I felt like he wasn’t that same God-fearing man I thought I knew all these years.
I used to think my father was perfect. He got up in that pulpit every Sunday and preached to his congregation about loving our neighbors and not thinking we are better than someone else. At five years old, I remember my father instilling in me how I needed to treat the janitor with the same respect as I would treat the CEO of the company. Those words meant nothing to me now. He probably was just saying it because it sounded good. Obviously, he wasn’t practicing what he had been preaching all these years.
I released a sigh as I parked my car in the driveway, not even bothering to pull it into the garage like I would usually do. As I was getting out of the car, it hit me that I wasn’t even wearing any underwear. Billionaire still had them in his pockets. I don’t know why, but I felt like a scared little girl sneaking into my house after missing curfew. As grown as I was, I just always felt like a little girl again whenever it came to my father.
As I reached in the seat to get my purse, I saw him stand up from the chair he was sitting in on my porch. With my purse over my shoulder, I walked over to the porch. As late as it was, my father didn’t have an ounce of sleepiness in his face. He was often up at this time of the night anyway because he would usually get his sermons together after my mother went to bed.
I made it to him and stood on the bottom step, looking up at him. My father was dressed down tonight in a black sweatsuit because it was chilly outside. His arms were folded, and it was like he was examining me. More than likely, he was trying to see if he could determine whether I was still a virgin. It’s like he took my purity ring more seriously than I did.
“Where are you coming from? It’s almost one in the morning, and you just now come straggling in the house? I’ve been out here waiting for you to come home since nine o’clock,” he spat, looking at me like he was absolutely disgusted.
Maybe I was too soft or something, but I hated the idea of my father loving me less. That’s what it felt like; it felt like he no longer loved me like he used to, and that bothered me so bad. Although I had a game face on, pretending that everything was all right, my heart was breaking.
“I’m coming from a birthday party. What do you mean I’m straggling in the house? I’m walking perfectly fine inside the house! Daddy, I’ve worked every day this week. Most days, twelve hours a day, so even if I was straggling into the house, I would have every reason to. I work hard, so I deserve a night out to let my hair down and have a good time. You should have told me you were out here waiting for me, that way I could have told you I wasn’t home. What is it? Did you have to tell me something?” I questioned, coming up the steps now and standing not too far away from him.
I watched him as he ran his hands down his face and then let out a sigh. He was more than likely trying to gather his words before he just let something crazy spew from his lips.
“I want you to know that ever since it has been brought to my attention that you’ve been out parlaying with this man, I don’t sleep at night like I used to. As a father, it is my job to protect my children at all costs, and right now, you are blinded by lust, so you can’t take a second to even see where I am coming from. As a father, I think about this man physically abusing you, or introducing you to drugs, having you in the wrong parts of town, cheating on you, and whatever else.
“Normani, you have to know when you are being a fool and making foolish decisions. We are talking about a man with felony charges! A man who hasn’t even been home from prison for a whole year yet! I brought him up to a few of the younger deacons at the church, and they ran him down to me for hours. This man was a drug dealer for crying out loud, Normani! There is no telling the number of murders he’s committed over the years that he just didn’t get caught for.
“I get it. I get that you see your sister in a healthy marriage, and she just brought a beautiful baby boy into this world. I also get that you were raised in a household with both of your parents. You’ve witnessed the way we’ve loved each other for years. I know you want your chance at love, but I feel like you are moving out of desperation. You could have any man in the world, Normani. Why him? Why are you stooping so low? Do you not care about what your doctor friends or your church friends will think about you?” he asked.
“Yes, I was at one point worried about what people would think of me. In fact, I worried about what you would think of me the most, but that was before my feelings for him grew. When you really care about somebody, you have to put whatever ill thoughts to the back burner and do what makes you happy. Everything that you’ve said about this man, I already know these things. I sit on the phone and listen to him talk for hours.
“You act like people can’t change! You know nothing about him right now! You don’t know anything about the man who works just as hard as I work. The man who’s in the process of getting his kids’ rooms together at his new house, so they can have a nice space when he gets them on the weekends. We’re talking about a man who loves God just as much as you and I do. If you’re coming down here to try to put things in my head, so I can leave him alone, you can just stop while you’re ahead. I really like him, and there’s nothing you can do to convince me otherwise.
“I get it. You are my father, and it’s second nature for you to worry about Naomi and me, but what you’re doing right now is a little bit extreme. How about I set up something for the two of you, and you two can sit down and talk—”
“I wouldn’t sit down and talk with that piece of scum if I was offered one million dollars to do so! If you want to be a fool, do it on your own time. Don’t drag me into your mess. I hope you know that you don’t have any support for what you are doing either. Not from me, your mother, and it won’t be from Naomi once I let her know what’s going on because she doesn’t know too much,” he told me.
I let out a sarcastic laugh and then shook my head.
“When is the last time you talked to Mommy? She likes Billionaire, but because you’re a bully and have to always have it your way or the highway, she’s too scared to have an opinion!” I spat.
He walked up close, getting all in my personal space.
“My wife likes whatever I like, and if I say I don’t like a certain someone, best believe she doesn’t like that certain someone either!” he said.
“And that’s what separates you from my man! I can have an opinion. I can say that the sky is blue, even if he thinks that it’s purple. You’re so worried about me being with a man like Billionaire when you are ten times worse! You’re fake! You preach fake sermons that you probably only do for a paycheck, because look how you act in real life! Oh, and by the way, I don’t care if I don’t have your support. If I decide to marry him tomorrow, I could not care less if you weren’t there and—”
Whap!
