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“You sure about that football team you want?” I asked, referring to the obnoxious number of kids that he told me he wanted.
He didn’t even answer me. I laughed while I put Khari down, and she grabbed my hand, leading me into her bedroom.
Two months later
“Welp. According to this test, this beautiful baby girl is definitely yours. 99.9%, just in case you needed me to be more specific. Monterius, now you know we didn’t even have to have this test done. The second she was pushed out, I felt like I was looking at you all over again. It’s confirmed, so you know what you gotta do,” my mama said, not making this shit any better, doing all that fuckin’ talking.
We’d just gotten to the hospital to check on Trinity, and once we got there, the results from the DNA tests were on the table, waiting for me to open them. Trinity had the baby two days ago, and before they could even get the crust off her body, I had strict instructions to perform a DNA test. However, I knew there was no need because even though she was only five minutes old, I looked at her and saw a tiny version of me.
I guess it was the love I had for Twinkle that wanted me to hold onto every piece of hope that there was still just a small chance this baby wasn’t mine. When my mama read the results out from the test, I knew that I’d gained one individual in my life, but I’d lost Twinkle, now that I was hit with solid proof that this beautiful baby girl actually belonged to me.
My hands were in my pockets, and I was looking ahead of me where Trinity was sitting up in the hospital bed, all dressed and ready to get out of there. She was holding our tiny daughter in her arms, who was sound asleep. As mad as I wanted to be at this situation, I wasn’t the kind of fucked up, heartless person who could dog Trinity out, especially when I was there for the birth and saw just how horrific that shit was.
I was a grown ass man who knew what came with raw fuckin’, so I’d be a corny ass nigga to dog shorty out when I knew what I was doing. I couldn’t lie, though; I wished like a motha fucka that this was Twinkle who had just pushed my baby out. Speaking of Twinkle, man, I just ran out of shit to do to get her back. It was so much talk in the streets that she was fuckin’ around with that NBA nigga who had broken her heart years ago, and to tell you the truth, I ain’t even have the fuckin’ strength to run down on a nigga and blow his fuckin’ brains out for fuckin’ the woman of my dreams. I knew I fucked up by having this baby on Twinkle and shattering her heart into a million pieces.
Although a nigga could be very selfish, I loved shorty enough to say she deserved to be happy, and if happy was with that nigga, then so fuckin’ be it. I needed to be worrying about the little 6.5-pound baby in the room, and making sure I was there, so she didn’t grow up as another black child in America without a father.
“You couldn’t wait to read me them results,” I said to my mama, shaking my head.
“I sure couldn’t! You’re man enough to be having sex without condoms and not caring about your actions, then it’s only right that you get hit with consequences in the end. I have faith that you will be the best father you can be. I know you’re hurting right now because this is a messy situation, but that little girl needs you. This message is for both you and Trinity,” my mom said, looking toward Trinity and me.
“Sadly, it’s been going on for years that a lot of parents do not stay together once a child is involved, or in yall’s situation, you two weren’t even together when the child was conceived. It really doesn’t matter about all that, though. What matters is her. She didn’t ask to be here. This doesn’t have to be a nasty, baby mama/baby daddy battle. My son has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, and from one woman to another, baby girl, you are beautiful, and you should never chase after a man who doesn’t want to be with you. You have a beautiful daughter, and that’s who you should be directing all your energy to. Trust me, you’ll need a lot of energy dealing with a newborn baby.
“Monterius, this part is for you. If you know in your heart that you don’t want to be with Trinity, then you need to stand firm on that. If you’re going to go over her house to see the baby, then do just that! You don’t have to see the baby and see your way to some sex! Co-parenting can work once it’s done properly. Come over to the house, get the baby for a couple of hours, so that Trinity has time to take a nap, take a shower, or just damn breathe! You created this baby together, and the burden of it shouldn’t have to fall onto just one person. Now, I’m going to go ahead and let the two of y’all handle this like adults,” my mama said.
I couldn’t even say I was shocked that my mama had laid it all out there on the line like that because she’d never been the type of woman to hold her tongue about anything. She kissed me on my cheek, and then she went over and stared at her beautiful granddaughter one last time before she walked out of the room. I looked over at Trinity, and she was crying. It wasn’t a loud, obnoxious cry, but I was sure that some of the stuff my mama had said probably touched her.
“Chill out, aight? You ain’t going to go through this shit on your own. We may not be in a relationship, but I swear I’m going to be there for my daughter,” I told Trinity.
She nodded her head, and then she used one of her hands to wipe her face. The crazy thing is, Trinity was a beautiful woman, but I just never pursued her in that way because I always had Twinkle. I’d probably never tell this to Twinkle because she would probably think I would be trying to disrespect her or some shit like that, but the two actually had a lot of similarities, and I think that’s why I would always double back with Trinity whenever Twinkle and I weren’t on the best of terms.
Their personalities were really the only things that reminded me of each other because when it came down to their looks, the two were literally night and day. Trinity was just a few shades lighter than caramel. Her body was one of the things that drew me into her initially. She had a nice, thick ass, toned ass body. That was the case because she was the owner of two dance workout studios in Miami. I swear a nigga would be cheating just by going on her page and looking at the way she was dancing. She could dance just as good, shit, probably even better than Joie Chavis, which was Bow Wow’s and Future’s baby mama.
Honestly, though, if I had to say who Trinity looked like, I would say that she did remind me of Joie Chavis. She stood about 5’8,” and the tiny waist, the fat ass, and the wide hips were all things that had me intrigued from the beginning. Not even trying to go down memory lane or no shit like that, but Trinity and I met at a club. She gave me her number, and it wasn’t until a few months later that I actually hit her up. One night, she let me pull up, and we fucked. That’s all it’s really ever been with us. We fucked, and we kept that shit on the hush.
Looking at her now, I just ain’t understand why she didn’t have a nigga to cuff her, like on some serious shit because she was a beautiful woman. I knew she was mixed with something because of the long, jet black hair she had; I just never asked. She had light brown eyes that I could look at right now and tell just how tired she was.
When my mom and I got to the hospital, I overhead Trinity telling my mom how the baby had kept her up all night. What I did know is that Trinity was raised by her stepmother and her dad, and she’s told me on a few occasions how she wasn’t that close to either of them. I believed her too because the day she gave birth, the only people on her side who came to see the baby was two her homegirls. Had my mama and I never came for the actual delivery, she would have had to do that shit on her own.
“Why Tegan for her? How you come up with that?” I asked, walking over and standing next to Trinity and the baby. Little girl had a head full of hair, but it was covered right now by the princess beanie on her head. Still, I could see some of her hair hanging out in the back. She was dressed in a cute pink sweatsuit, and little socks were on her feet.
“I liked it for her. It means loved one. You don’t like it?” she asked, looking up at me with tired eyes.
“I do. It’s cute,” I told her.
It was awkward. I guess it just felt weird to be standing over her, having a conversation, and not fuckin’ or fighting. As beautiful as Trinity was, I’ll say it again, I felt like shorty was toxic than a motha fucka. I couldn’t put all this shit on her, though, because I gave her every reason to be toxic with me. I came over only when that shit was beneficial to me, and I ain’t treat her the best during her pregnancy.
I couldn’t be the standup guy during her pregnancy that she needed me to be because I needed facts that the baby was mine. A man always wanted to say that a woman was toxic, forgetting how she got that way in the first place.
“Ima set up the car seat and put it in my car.
I’ll pull the car up front for y’all,” I told her, and she let me know that was fine.
The box with the car seat was in the corner of the room, and I took about fifteen minutes to properly assemble it. All this shit was new to me, so imagine when I got outside, and I thought it would only take me about five minutes to put the car seat in the back of my truck, but the shit took damn near twenty minutes. Once I had it in its place, I pulled the car to the front, and at the same time, I saw the nurse wheeling Trinity and the baby to the front, over on the curbside pickup and drop off.
For me to not have known shit about this, I stepped up quickly, grabbed the diaper bag, put it in the back, and carefully put Tegan in her car seat. I just couldn’t understand how her little butt could sleep through all this. Once she was safely in the car seat, I helped Trinity out of the chair and helped her to the car. She was moving slow, saying how she was still sore from when she ripped and had to get stitches.
Once she was safe in the back with the baby, I got up front and drove to her house. Not even ten minutes into the drive, I hear Trinity in the backseat, snoring loudly. To be honest, I had every intention of dropping Trinity off at her house with the baby, and once they were settled, I planned to dip. Then, I thought about the shit that my mama just told me about needing to stick around, just for Trinity to get a couple of hours to sleep. Shit, I’d gotten myself a full night’s rest last night, so it was only right that I let the mother of my child have the same luxury.
