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“It’s Shar and that Australian girl,” said Shyla. “They’re in a fight. Come over to my side so you can see better.”
I squeezed in next to Shyla. Shar and Jessica were rolling around in the grass, pulling each other’s hair and shoving each other. A bunch of production people and camera guys were trying to simultaneously break up the fight and film it. Suddenly Catalina Cartwright reappeared, getting her hair and makeup retouched as she hurried along, in case this bit made it onto the show. It looked like she’d been on her way out and had to be dragged back. I noticed that her sparkly shoes were gone and now she was wearing raggedy old boat shoes.
“Break it up you two, break it up!” she yelled. “Everyone get on the bus and go home. Tonight is over. You’ll have another chance at love tomorrow.” Some of the women on the bus clapped at the news that we were finally leaving.
“Keep these two separated,” Catalina told Phillipe.
He shook his head. “I no babysitter.”
“I said, keep them separated,” she screamed. When he looked down instead of answering, she plowed her way up onto the bus and looked down the aisle at all of us. There was frightening silence as we waited to see what would happen next. Her hands were on her hips; her lips were a dark, uneven smudge. “Are you a bunch of kindergarteners? Are you?” she yelled at us.
“No,” we said. I couldn’t believe it was her, the Catalina Cartwright, standing inches away and yelling like an angry parent.
“She’s so mad,” whispered Deb, who had just slid into my seat beside me. “I think everyone in California is on something. Why else would they have these mood swings? In Duluth we don’t have these problems, and this is hard for me.”
“Shhh,” I said.
“Don’t shush me,” she whispered.
Catalina Cartwright’s tirade was picking up even more steam: “You all think you’re special, but you’re not. You all behave like spoiled brats, which you are. I’ve about had it! Do you know how many years I have been hosting this show?”
“Six!” someone shouted.
“And I have never had a worse group than you! I feel sorry for Bellamy. I can’t imagine that he is really going to find a wife in this lot of losers. I hope some of you can pull it together, keep your vaginas in your pants, not start a fight with the girl sitting next to you, and represent yourself like a lady. You won’t get much further in the competition if you don’t grow up!”
Why was she yelling at us, I wondered, when Shar and Jessica weren’t even sitting back here? They were still up front by Phillipe, standing on the bus steps, blocked from coming up any further since she was standing in their way. Catalina apparently had just realized this. She spun around, waving her hands.
“She’s a shouter,” whispered Deb. “I hate shouters. They seem so out of control. I’m scared. I wish Bellamy was here. Then I’d feel safer. Wouldn’t you? I’m telling you, she’s on drugs. I think everybody here in California is on drugs. We’ll be lucky if we aren’t hooked on something by the time we’re through here. I just hope it’s not the meth.”
“You,” Catalina said to Shar, “will go home if you can’t behave yourself. Same to you, Little Miss England. We’ll send you back home too. You can sit on your ass and eat crumpets and think about what you lost. If you think Bellamy is calling all the shots about who stays and who goes, you’re wrong. Got it? The same goes for all of you,” she said, turning back around, surveying the bus.
“I’m Australian, not English,” said Jessica.
“Now you’re on my list,” said Catalina Cartwright, pushing past them, shoving camera guys out of her way. She huffed and puffed away from us, Shar and
Jessica sat down far away from one another, and we finally drove away. It was now after four o’clock in the morning.
Chapter 16
There was a knock on the door at 7:00 a.m. It was announcing a date card, unceremoniously and anonymously deposited on our welcome mat. Amy woke us up because we’re all supposed to be present when a date card is read.
“Ooh,” she said, “I’m on here. Okay, are you all ready? Everybody listening? Aubrey, Amy, Chloe, Tamika, Mylar, Jessica, Shyla, Klassie, and Shar: Do you enjoy hash browns and toast as much as I do? Meet me for breakfast at 8:00 a.m., followed by a hike. ~ Bellamy.”
“Eee!” squealed Shyla. Her sleepy expression immediately disappeared, replaced with a look of sheer joy.
“A hike! I love hiking,” said Amy, fanning herself with the date card. “Can I keep this, since, you know, I found it. Would any of you mind?”
“It’s too early to have breakfast and hike,” said Shar. She had a black eye from her fight with Jessica. I couldn’t believe they weren’t going to send both girls home. I guessed since several contestants had left ahead of schedule, the producers realized they had to ignore some of the bad behavior or there would be no show.
“If you don’t want to go, I’ll take your place,” said Marissa. “In case anybody cares, he still hasn’t spent any time with me.”
“You need to make yourself more emotionally available to him,” said Chloe.
“I’m trying,” said Marissa.
There really aren’t words for how relieved I was to not hear my name called. The women on the list went off to get ready while I got to crawl back into bed. I slept until the middle of the afternoon and then joined the other girls by the pool. The group on a date were still gone and the house felt peaceful and luxurious.
“Love your bikini,” Vanessa said to me.
