AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But, he still wasn’t hers.
When she looked up at him, he’d closed his eyes. A little voice in her head told her not to do what she planned, to let sleeping dogs lie and enjoy the present, the future would bring enough trouble when it came. But she couldn’t do it. She had to ask the question that had been eating her up.
“Duncan, can you answer my question now?”
“Mmm,” he said sleepily, “it had better not be how long a thirty-eight-year-old man takes to recover for round two.”
“No.” She propped herself up on her elbow to look at him, memorising every line on his face and the strong cut of his jaw. Her stomach lurched as she opened her mouth to speak. “What I want to know is, do you think you could ever love someone other than Fiona?”
He went taut beneath her touch and his eyes flew open. “Why would you ask me something like that? Ask me another question—one I can answer.”
Donna forced a smile as a dull ache spread like a fungus through her body, contaminating everything it touched. “You’re right. That was a dumb question.” And he’d already given her his answer in telling her to pick another. “I’m too tired to think of another one right now. Can I have a rain check on my side of the deal?”
“Aye.” He sank back into the bed, wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her into his side. “Let’s get some sleep. You’ve knackered me out.”
She could hear the smile in his voice as she pressed her cheek to his chest. “I’m exhausted too, sleep sounds good.”
“No’ for too long, mind. I have plans for you.”
She tried to keep her voice light as her throat tightened around her words. “I thought you were leaving early for Glasgow. You need to be rested for the drive.”
“I’m heading out late morning, so we’ve plenty of time left for round two. Now go to sleep.”
His thumb stroked her side until he fell asleep. Donna lay there, listening to his steady breathing and feeling the beat of his heart under her cheek. She felt as though her own heart had been weighed down with standing stones. The dull, low throb of agony made her feel like she could sink through the floor and into the very earth beneath her, where it would press in on her until she lost the ability to breathe. The relentless pressure against her heart and soul crushing her into dust.
With his refusal to answer her question, Duncan had confirmed that there was no space in his heart for anyone but his wife. All he would ever be able to offer her was affection, and a touch to ease the lonely nights. She suspected it might have been enough for her—if she hadn’t already fallen in love with him. Now, it felt like exactly what it was: Fiona’s leftovers.
As she stared out at the night sky, she realised that her fate was sealed. Agnes was right, there was no way she could stay at the mansion, pining after a man who was constrained in what he was able to give her. A relationship with Duncan, of any kind, would always be unequal. She would always want more, and he would always be unable to give it to her.
It would be agony.
She had to leave and find another job. And it was clear she couldn’t stay to work out her notice. As soon as the ball was over, she’d pack up and move in with Agnes. It would be best for both her and Duncan. Then, maybe, he could find another woman that would sleep with him and enjoy his friendship, without ever wanting his heart. She knew one thing for certain: she wasn’t that woman.
She angled her head to look up at him. Even in sleep, he was formidable. So beautiful, and yet so broken. She could only imagine the agony of having your soulmate and then losing them, leaving you ripped in two and forever yearning.
Tomorrow, he would leave for Glasgow, and he wouldn’t come back until after the ball. By then, she’d be gone. It didn’t matter whether she spent the rest of the night touching him or not, either way, it would tear her apart to leave.
But she would take the few hours she had left with him. Because, even though she knew it was the foolish thing to do, she wanted to sleep in the arms of the man she loved. Before she left him forever.
Chapter 24
“Has he gone then?” Grace asked Donna as she came into the kitchen for lunch the following day.
“He just left, and he won’t be back until late on Saturday. He’s having dinner with the dean tomorrow night, after he teaches.” Which was good, because as he sat down to eat in Glasgow, his house in Kintyre would be full of strangers.
She slipped into the booth and looked out the window to the immaculate estate grounds. There was no doubt she’d miss the place, but her sisters were right, she hadn’t stayed in the job because she loved the mansion, she’d stayed because she loved Duncan.
Holding two mugs of tea, Grace slipped into the seat facing her. “Food will be ready in five minutes. We’ve got time for a cuppa.”
Donna accepted the drink gratefully. “We might as well enjoy the peace while we can. The institute women will be here after lunch to set up.”
“It’s not the set-up I’m worried about. It’s the clean-up afterwards.”
“I’ve hired a cleaning crew,” Donna said. “They’ll be here first thing Saturday morning.”
Grace’s eyes narrowed. “Who’s paying? I know the money can’t come out of the mansion accounts, or Duncan will notice. You’d better be charging the Women’s Institute to clean up their mess.”
Donna felt her cheeks heat as she sipped her tea. “I can’t, Grace, then it would come out of the amount raised for the cancer charity.”
