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I rode beside the park along my usual path, driving down side streets to get to the bike pathway along the Hudson. Usually, physical exertion like that cleared my mind, and I rode along, my mind focused on my breathing and the path ahead, the traffic around me and my destination.
I arrived back at the building, a considerable sweat worked up and a lot of stress worked off. I went back up to my apartment and had a shower, all the while thinking of Ella, wondering if she'd show up on Friday. I wanted to text her and try to feel her out, but at the same time, I didn't want to annoy her or be a jerk, so I held off.
Instead, I went to bed and tried hard not to think of her, for I was exhausted and I knew that if I thought too much, my mind would go back to our one real encounter and I would need to take care of business. But try as I might not to think about her, my mind went there and I wondered whether Ella would show up on Friday at the airport lounge.
I didn't know what the future held for us, but I was going to try to give the relationship every chance I could to succeed. Both of us had been hurt by cheaters, and both of us needed to find our way back to trusting again.
All I knew was that when I was with her, I was happy. I enjoyed her – her smile, her wit, and of course, she beautiful, ambitious and smart. But most of all, she had a good heart.
Whatever happened between us, I felt that was certain and that was what really mattered.
Thursday, I spent the day mired in work, going over all the projects I had on my desk, making sure I could take time off over the next five days and that everything would be taken care of in my absence. I truly didn't want to answer any work-related emails or take and business calls the entire time we were there. I would have my assistant field all calls and only put through true emergencies. Nothing less than a five-alarm fire would interrupt me while I was on vacation.
Then, I picked up my suitcase and left for JFK, wondering as the taxi drove there whether she would show up or leave me hanging. I went to the Emirates Lounge, and took a seat in one of the chairs by a window, and began my vigil.
I checked my cell. I had arrived an hour before I needed to check in, and made sure that I could watch the doorway so I could see Ella the moment she arrived. The moments passed, and I kept my cell open, checking email and my social media, hoping that if she decided not to come, that she'd at least text me so I would know before the flight left. I hoped that she would have let me know by now if she wasn't coming so I could either reschedule or cancel, depending.
The fact she hadn't gave me hope.
Exactly thirty-two minutes after I arrived, I saw her walk through the doors into the lounge. The relief I felt was intense. I checked and sure enough, she had a suitcase in hand and hadn’t just come to see me off.
I stood and she came right over, her face flushed, her cheeks pink.
She smiled. "I tried to be here an hour before, but my taxi got stuck in traffic."
I took her hand and pulled her into my arms, kissing her, my arms slipping around her to pull her closer. She kissed me back, her enthusiasm a sign she was fully with me. No hesitation.
"You came," I said and stroked her cheek, smiling. "I wasn't sure you would."
"I wasn't sure I would either, but I didn’t want to regret not going one day when I'm an old lady living in a retirement home."
She smiled up at me, and I laughed at that image. My mind immediately went to us sitting together in that retirement home, an old grizzled couple, holding hands.
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before."
Then I kissed her again, because I now truly believed that line from Tennyson. No matter what happened between us, I knew then I had to find out.
Epilogue
Ella
"What do you think?"
Josh stood behind me at the patio door, his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder so that his lips were beside my ear.
"It's amazing," I said, squeezing his arms, for the scene was truly fantastic.
Our rooms looked out onto the beach and beyond it, to the Pacific, which was now calm, a bright moon illuminating a bank of clouds against a starry sky. I could hear the roar of the surf and it was distant enough to be calming. Outside our room was a personal swimming pool and a set of lounge chairs. A few yards away, surf washed against the beach.
"So," I said and turned around in his arms. "This is your fantasy. Tell me what you want me to do."
He stared into my eyes for a moment then shook his head slowly.
"Just be you. Just be with me. I don't need to play out any fantasy scenario to feel this is worth every moment. What matters is that we're here together for three full days of doing nothing but enjoying the location, the good food, the peace and quiet and of course, each other."
"That's it?" I asked and gave him side eyes. "No kinky sex thing you want me to do? No role playing or games of bondage with silk scarves tied to the bedposts?" I smiled as seductively as I could, hoping to get a grin out of him and an admission.
He pressed his obviously aroused body against me. "I did say that I wanted you all to myself for the entire weekend and that we would spend the entire time fucking our brains out. We can try the scarves later, if you want but right now, just being with you is enough for me."
