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I smiled, my grin huge. Well, at least I knew she didn't throw them into the trash.
JOSH: I'm glad you like them. I was worried you'd have thrown them into the trash, but I'm glad you got to reuse that spaghetti sauce jar. Reduce, reuse and recycle is my motto.
She didn't respond back, nor were there any bouncing dots indicating a response was coming and I felt sad. I wanted her to come over right then and there so we could be together instead of me being alone texting her.
JOSH: So, I suppose that means that I missed out on a nice spaghetti dinner… Did you make meatballs?
Then, she did start to answer and I had hope for the first time in a long time.
ELLA: Actually, I did make meatballs but alas, my cooking skills are not up to Mrs. Corleone's or whoever it was who made them at that restaurant we went to.
JOSH: I could probably ask for the recipe the next time we go. They like me there. I'm a regular.
There was a pause and I waited with a smile on my face to see how she'd respond.
ELLA: I saw what you did there…
JOSH: What did I do???
I waited but there was no reply. Damn… I really had to work hard to get her to stay engaged.
JOSH: So, I have it from sources who are in the know that the resort in Bali has the very best fresh fish and seafood, and it's served daily at an all-day buffet and restaurant. We could order in and stay in the room for the entire time we're there, or we could get dressed up one night when we need a break from all the nakedness and go sit in the lovely outdoor dining room that is described as, and I quote, "open to the magnificent tropical night sky filled with a million stars."
I waited but again, no response.
Then, she texted me an image of the roses in the Catelli spaghetti sauce jar. The label had been partially scraped off, but it was clear enough to know what brand. She'd had to trim the stems so that the roses didn't fall out of the jar, but it was still a nice bouquet.
JOSH: I want to come by and see your apartment.
Of course, I wanted more than just to see her apartment, but I was truly curious about her place. I wanted to see where she lived so I could picture her there.
ELLA: I could send you a video of the place. It's pretty small and would only take about five seconds to cover everything. There's a Murphy bed, and a small desk, a two-seater table against the wall beside the kitchenette, and a television mounted to the other wall. The bathroom is about four by four feet with a tiny shower, toilet and miniature sink. And there's one full wall of brick. It's tiny, but it's mine, all mine.
JOSH: Sounds amazing.
JOSH: So, no invite over for a late-night visit?
ELLA: I'm exhausted after working four straight twelve-hour days, frankly.
JOSH: Three days of sun, surf and … whatever your heart desires is the remedy for that.
ELLA: I thought Bali was the fulfilment of your fantasies, not mine.
JOSH: Your desire is my pleasure.
There was a long pause and I knew I was pushing a bit too much, but I didn't want to lose her now. I had to keep pressing her to let herself do what I thought she really wanted – I thought – I hoped – that she wanted to be with me, but was afraid. That was my fault for not being truthful to her right from the start about who I was. If I had, she would have trusted me more, and understood that whatever we felt was both mutual and real.
JOSH: Ella, if I could go back in time to the day we met in the elevator, I would tell you the truth about who I was, so you wouldn't be concerned about me being honest. It was just so nice to be liked for me, just Josh. Not THE Joshua Macintyre Jr. That was all. I didn't do it to deceive you. I did it to make you relax and be yourself. It worked and you were real with me. You can't know how much that meant to me, especially after what happened with my ex.
ELLA: I understand. Look, I'm still processing everything, but I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of the flowers. Now, I'm seriously exhausted and have to say goodnight.
JOSH: Goodnight. I hope I see you on Friday…
That was it. She didn't text me back, but I felt a whole lot better about things after texting with her than I felt before. Now, if only I knew for certain she would meet me at the Emirates lounge, I could sleep well and look forward to my final day of work before Bali.
I had decided I wouldn't go if she didn't, because while I really needed the escape, I knew it would hurt too much if she didn’t show up.
Unable to sleep because my mind was working too hard, I grabbed my bike and my reflective vest and helmet and went out into the Manhattan evening to ride, work off some of my excess energy.
