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Crap. I was that close to her doing so. Luckily, she only came to my apartment, waiting outside.
I sent a text to my father, hoping he got it first thing and wasn't worried. He seemed to calm down long before Dawn did. His last voice mail at midnight was far less anxious.
Just give me a call, dear, when you get this message.
That was it. Drake and I would have to be more careful. Dawn was suspicious. She was willing to wait outside my apartment… Was she hoping to catch me with Drake?
At about 5:30, while I was sitting on the couch, watching CNN, my phone dinged, indicating a new text.
Drake.
Why did you leave?
I looked at the message for a few moments, trying to compose a response in my mind.
I couldn't sleep. You were sleeping like a baby. I didn't want to wake you up so I just left.
In a few moments, he replied.
You can always wake me up. I wanted you to stay with me so I could watch over you, make sure you're all right. Kate, I'm a neurosurgeon. We get concerned with any kind of head injury. You should have stayed until I said you were OK to go home. Do you have a headache? Nausea?
Poor Drake. He really was worried. He must be angry with himself over the fall and my injury.
I'm fine. My mind just won't slow down. I have a deadline and am working on my article.
In a few seconds, he responded.
You think too much. When you're with me, you don't have to think. That's what I'm
for. But I suspect something's bothering you for you to leave without saying anything. Tell me what's the matter…
I sighed. Of course, something was bothering me. This keep everything separate on the plate requirement of his. I felt like he was leaking into my life, into my thoughts, and I wanted him in it. He didn't want me to mix in the separate compartments he kept for things. Kinky sex. Neurosurgery. The Foundation. The Band.
Drake, I still have to think, even when I'm with you. I still have to think when I'm not with you.
You want the truth?
He didn't respond for some time, as if deciding if he wanted it. Finally, he called. When I saw his name on the caller ID, my throat choked up. I ignored his call and texted him instead.
Drake, I don't like being shoved into a small box in the corner of your life.
He called again, but I ignored his call once more, my emotions too close to the surface. He replied to my text.
You're not in a small box in the corner. In case you didn't realize it, you’re in a very big and very central box in the middle of my life.
That made my heart melt a bit, but still, it wasn't what I really wanted. If I was honest with myself, if I let my self really feel what I was feeling, I knew being in that box would never satisfy me.
I don't know if that's enough.
I bit my nail and waited for what he said to that, afraid that he'd break it off with me if I pushed things, but wanting to be completely truthful. He said that a Dom had to trust that his sub was being completely truthful and not just trying to please him by lying.
I'm coming over.
Oh, God. He couldn't come over.
Don't. It's too much of a risk.
When he didn't reply right away, I knew he was coming anyway. How many times would I have to run away from him for his own good?
