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“You have to do it,” she said and shrugged one shoulder, but I could tell she was fighting to appear calm. “I don’t like the fact that my husband, whom I only see at nights and on weekends, is having lunch with a crazy stalker, but you have to appease her. You can’t really go to the police and get a restraining order. You’re so close to the end of your fellowship, that I’d hate for you to stop now. Don’t let her ruin things for you.”
She ate in silence for a moment and I leaned over and kissed her cheek. She looked up at me and smiled then returned to her pasta without a word. I knew she didn’t like it, and I felt sick that my past was coming back to haunt us. I should have withdrawn as soon as I knew Lisa was a resident. It was my fault for not recognizing the danger she would be, once I knew who she was and what had happened between us.
I watched Kate while I dipped my bread in my sauce.
“You’re so good to me,” I said and reached out to take her hand, squeezing it to show my appreciation for how well she was taking things. “I don’t think I could stand it if the situation was reversed and Kurt or Sefton was blackmailing you, making you spend time with them. I think I’d probably go and punch them out.”
She laughed at that and smiled at me, her eyes crinkling in the corners. “What weapon would you use? Rapiers at dawn? Or muskets?”
“Rapiers, of course.” I chewed my bread with a smile, thinking of how I’d be mad with jealousy if Kate had to go out with Kurt or Sefton.
“Shall I go to NYU and beat up Dr. Monroe?”
I laughed out loud when I saw her coy smile. “No, please don’t get into a fight with her. She’s taller than you and probably could whip your sweet round ass…” I grinned at her and she laughed and took my hand. “Besides you’re in a delicate situation, what with the baby bump. Don’t want anything to happen to either of you.”
“We’ll get through this,” she said. “It’s only another few weeks, right?”
I nodded. “Eleven.” My fellowship would end a few weeks before Kate was due. However, things had escalated between Lisa and me since she started on as a resident, with her forcing me to go out for lunch, going into her apartment to help her with her plasma television, making a blatant pass at me... How much father would she push?
Would she actually expect me to cheat on Kate to avoid being outed as a member of the BDSM community? Even if we didn’t have actual intercourse, doing a scene with Lisa would be cheating to me. I would never want another Dom to even touch Kate and would never approve of it, so there is no way I would ever want to do a scene with Lisa.
That night, I removed my profile from Fetlife.com, removed my letters to my former submissives from their location on a server used by many members of Fetlife, and I asked the moderators to delete any reference to me they may have made in promotional materials, relaying my concerns about a former sexual partner who was blac
kmailing me.
I went to the message board and removed the few comments I had made in conversations about those interested in the lifestyle. It wasn’t ever going to completely remove my existence as Master D online, although I had been too busy to be very prodigious as a commenter, but I did my share to help educate people interested in B&D. There were no direct links between me and Master D but there would be witnesses who could testify they knew me as Master D from various dungeon parties I’d attended.
I only hoped Lisa hadn’t already taken screenshots of my profile or conversations – or the letters. Sunita might have, but I couldn’t be certain.
I’d have to manage Lisa very carefully so she didn’t get angry with me. There would come a point – if she pushed hard and far enough – where I might have to quietly withdraw from my fellowship. I had already decided to stop taking new patients so if worst came to worst, I could withdraw from my practice after handing over any remaining patients to other neurosurgeons, and focus my attention on the foundation and corporation. Plus, my band.
Kate would be delivering in late August and I wanted to be there for the whole first year.
I couldn’t imagine life without neurosurgery. I would probably be able to work somewhere else, if there was any negative publicity about me due to Lisa’s blackmail, but it would still mean giving it up for a year or more. I had planned on taking paternity leave for at least a year, but it might end up being even longer.
I had to be ready for any eventuality.
Luckily, I had a very full life with many interests beyond surgery if Lisa pushed me too far and I had to quit for a short time.
Lunch at Misha the next day was perfunctory on my part although I was pleased to be trying out the new Russian deli, planning on taking Kate there one day soon now that she felt better. I was pleasant but not intimate, responding to Lisa’s questions, but not initiating any conversation. If she noticed it, Lisa said nothing, content to be the one in control. It wasn’t natural for me and that was why Lisa and I were so badly matched for each other, even if I wasn’t married and in love with my wife. Lisa was so oblivious that she didn’t even notice. I suspected she wasn’t really a switch at all, but a Domme who just happened to be able to sub when it suited her. It was natural for her to be in control, and it was unnatural for me to let go of it.
On her part, Lisa sat and stared at me, smiling like she had won more than just a battle.
“See, this is fun,” she said as she raised her glass of beer. “The two of us having lunch. Two colleagues who share the same passion for neurosurgery.”
I nodded but didn’t say anything in response, thinking of how she had offered herself to me the previous night.
“Does Kate know you’re with me?” she asked, staring at me with narrowed eyes over her glass of beer.
“Yes, she knows everything about my life,” I said, focused on my food.
“Does she know about last night?”
“Everything,” I said.
“You know Drake,” she said, leaning forward. “If Kate loved you, she’d let you do scenes with other subs.”
She sat back and smiled at me as if she scored a point, then took a drink of her beer.
