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I sat back and looked at her, unable to stop myself from responding.
“Lisa, I don’t want other subs. Period. I don’t need other subs. I’ve always been monogamous.”
“You tied me up and fucked me,” she said a little too loud for my comfort.
“I was between subs at the time,” I replied, frowning. “When I was with a sub, I stayed monogamous.” I turned back to my food. “I’m not going to top you, Lisa, no matter what,” I said. “I’m in love with Kate and don’t want anyone else. You have to understand.”
“I don’t understand,” she replied, her face red. “You’re not much of a Master if you can’t tell your sub that she has to accept that you’ll still top other subs.” She raised her glass and took a long drink. “You don’t have to fuck me, but I really enjoy bondage. That’s why we’d be so good for each other. We were made for each other.”
I bit back my retort and merely chewed my food, neither smiling or frowning. It was as if she wasn’t really listening to what I said or she said. She was irrational. She had no real understanding of power exchange. She thought likes attracted, but they in no way did. Certainly not in BDSM. Nor was I a switch, happy to change from top to bottom and back depending on my partner.
If she hadn’t threatened me, we could have been work friends and colleagues, but she’d blown that chance and was too oblivious to the reality of the situation that she couldn’t realize it.
We finished our meals and I was happy to be leaving, getting back to the hospital so I could escape the tension I felt when I was around her. On her part, Lisa was too busy chattering away about the program and her recent surgery on a pediatric patient to notice my lack of involvement in the conversation.
The next week passed with the same pattern. She’d ghost me whenever we had grand rounds or conferences. She’d sit beside me in the conference room and talk about her cases, we’d go out as a group for drinks and appetizers and a game of pool or darts, and she’d stick beside me like glue. Occasionally, we’d have coffee.
Nothing I wouldn’t do with any other male colleague.
“Has she touched you recently?” Kate asked one night after I’d arrived home following a beer and wings session at Shane’s.
“Nope,” I said, anger at Lisa surfacing that I had to even have this conversation with my wife. I forced a smile and Kate smiled back, hers sympathetic. “Not even an attempt. Maybe she got a clue when I turned her down point blank that night.”
“Poor Drake,” she said and ran her fingers through my hair. “A sick and tired pregnant wife who you probably can’t get enough sex from and a beautiful if somewhat deranged colleague hell-bent on seducing you. It must feel a bit like a nightmare.”
“What?” I said and frowned, pulling her into my arms. She was a bit stiff, and so I rubbed her back, kissing her neck affectionately. “I get as much sex from you as I want and need. I’m not an insensitive lout,” I added. “I pride myself on being attuned to you,” I said softly. “Am I neglecting you? Am I forcing myself on you?”
She shook her head. “No,” she said in a small voice. “I’m just aware that we’re having sex less often and I don’t want you to feel deprived. I can do things to you even if I don’t want you to do things to me,” she said in a hesitant voice.
“You mean service me like a prized stud?” I shook my head. “No thanks. I’m all about mutuality, Kate. I couldn’t enjoy it if you didn’t as well. You should know that by now.”
“I do, but I still worry that you’ll feel deprived and maybe Lisa will look slightly appealing...”
I squeezed her and tipped her chin up so she had to look me in the eye. “I’m not deprived of anything and Lisa will never be appealing. If you can even say that with a straight face, I’ve failed you. You should feel absolutely no threat from Lisa. None.”
I pulled her more deeply into my arms and rocked her slowly. “As soon as my fellowship’s finished, I’m taking a year off so we can do this parenting thing together. I want to be with you every step of the way.
She relaxed in my arms and I was glad that I decided to withdraw completely from my practice at NYP. The fellowship was more than enough to keep me busy. I didn’t need to take on a light caseload at NYP on top of it. I had already let my department head know I wasn’t accepting any new cases after the end of the month. Soon, I’d only have my responsibilities at NYU and would spend less time away from Kate.
Yes, Kate and I had sex less frequently than before she was pregnant, but I didn’t feel deprived. We were both so busy with our respective new focuses. Kate’s was getting through her day of fatigue and intermittent nausea despite her meds, painting and reading, and I was busy trying to get the most out of every moment in the Fellowship.
“If you’re unhappy, I want to know,
” I said firmly, and brushed hair off her cheek, running my thumb over her bottom lip, touching the tiny scar there with affection. “No secrets. Good or bad,” I added.
She nodded and looked into my eyes. “No secrets, good or bad. It’s just that I’m getting a real belly. It’s bigger and is going to get even bigger,” she said and rubbed her baby bump.
I knelt down and ran my hands over her belly, then lifted her nightgown and kissed it. By now, she was almost eight months pregnant and was really showing it.
“I love your baby bump. It’s incredibly sexy and beautiful at the same time.” I looked up into her eyes, and I finally saw acceptance in them.
“Oh,” she said and took my hand, placing it on her belly. “She’s moving. She’s always active at night.”
I felt movement beneath my hands and was amazed once more that inside Kate was our baby – Sophia. I couldn’t wait to hold her.
I kissed Kate’s belly once more and enjoyed the faint hint of her soap. She always had a bath before I arrived home in case we decided to fuck. That, combined with her feminine scent, made my cock thicken, straining against my trousers. I couldn’t help but kiss her mound through her lace panties, my tongue laving up the crease between her lips. I heard her inhale sharply and glanced up to see her eyes closed, her lips parted.
She needed me and she wanted me.
