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He didn’t miss the panic that flickered in her eyes. “Are you putting the offer out there so you can set me up and keep me at home with the baby once it’s born?”
Confusion washed over him. The question was so out of left field and unexpected it almost gave him whiplash. “What are you talking about?”
Her lips pressed together for a moment, and she crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “Today, when I was talking with your mother, she told me that you said it would be an ideal situation for me to be a stay-at-home mom, instead of going back to wo
rk. What gives you the right to make that decision for me, or without me?”
Oh, yeah, total whiplash. “Whoa. Wait a second,” he said, putting up a hand to stop anything else she might say, though at least now he knew the source of her change in mood this evening. “I never said I expected you to stay at home after the baby was born. After I told her about the baby, she made the suggestion because that’s the kind of woman my mother is. Very domestic and traditional. I told my mother it was an option if you ever decided that’s what you wanted to do, but you should know me well enough by now to trust that I’d never make that kind of demand.”
And then it hit him, that trust he’d just spoken of was the crux of her fears. It was why she kept those emotional barriers up, and the reason for this conversation. She didn’t trust him enough to believe that he’d never take away her independence. She didn’t trust that they could have a real relationship that wouldn’t jeopardize her job. She didn’t trust that somewhere along the way he wouldn’t pull the rug right out from under her like her asshole ex had done—like her own mother said would eventually happen with Aiden.
With all those doubts still weighing on her mind and her heart, he wasn’t sure what else he could say or do to make her believe him. But he tried, because she was looking at him with eyes filled with wariness, and he wasn’t going to give up on her, on them.
“All I want to do is take care of you, Daisy.” And love you. “And make everything as easy as possible for you and this baby.”
His words did nothing to dissipate her apprehension. “I can take care of myself and this baby just fine.”
“I know you can. You don’t have anything to prove to me.”
Her chin lifted a fraction as she frowned at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He sighed and rubbed a hand along the back of his neck, knowing he was about to travel into sensitive territory, but it needed to be said. “It means . . .your mother has totally messed with your head and made you feel like you can’t trust a man for various reasons. Your experience with Troy didn’t help matters, either. But not all men are like him, Daisy. I’m not like him, or your father who left when you were a baby. And I’m not trying to take anything away from you. I want to give you everything you need and deserve. I want to support you in any decisions you and I make together and be there for you and the baby, every single day . . . because I love you.”
Her shocked gasp filled the tiny apartment, and her dismay returned as tears filled her eyes and she hugged her shoulders tighter. “I can’t do this right now, Aiden,” she said, sounding completely overwhelmed. “It’s too much.”
He knew putting his feelings out there for her would be a crap shoot, and clearly it wasn’t enough to win her over, and now his greatest fear was that he’d gone too far, too fast, and he’d just lost all the ground he’d tried to gain with her this past month.
He felt sick to his stomach at the thought of losing her. “It will always be too much if you don’t take a chance and try,” he said, his tone gentle but also firm. “There will always be excuses and fears and doubts to hold you back if you let them. But I promise you, if you take this chance with me, you won’t ever regret it.”
She let out a laugh that lacked humor and valiantly tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill over her lashes. “You can’t make those kinds of promises. Nobody can.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Daisy,” he said, feeling sad inside that everyone in her life had disappointed her on some level and given her every reason to be skeptical . . . from her father to her mother to the ex who’d deceived her. “I can make those kinds of promises, because that’s the kind of man I am. I’m a man of my word. I don’t say things that I don’t mean, and that’s something you should know about me by now.”
Knowing there was nothing left for him to say, he turned around and headed for the door, hoping like hell she’d call him back and tell him it was all a mistake . . .but her painful silence spoke volumes.
She wasn’t willing to risk her heart on him.
* * *
Daisy cried herself to sleep that night and woke up Sunday morning feeling no less miserable than she had the evening before. For the past three years, she’d lived by herself, but she’d never felt so alone as she did right now.
She told herself her emotional upheaval was baby hormones, but she knew that was a lie, because her heart hurt, and that had nothing to do with the pregnancy. No, the pain in her chest was a result of watching Aiden walk out her door after she’d rejected his offer to move into his house and, ultimately, him.
She’d even shunned the one thing she wanted the most . . . his love. And why? Like Aiden had said to her, she was afraid to trust and scared to open her heart and be vulnerable again. Yet over the past few weeks, there was no doubt in her mind that she’d fallen in love with Aiden, even as she’d tried to deny those emotions because she was terrified of being hurt, which was the last thing Aiden would ever deliberately do to her. He’d spent the past month making her feel safe and secure with him. He’d taken care of her and had given her every reason to believe he’d always be a man who would fight for her and be there for her . . . and that was something she’d never had in her life.
He’d fought hard last night, yet she was on the verge of throwing it all away because of her own stupid hang-ups and insecurities. And she was potentially throwing away the love of her life and the chance for her baby—their baby—to have the best dad in their life every single day, instead of a part-time arrangement.
A well of emotion filled her throat, and with effort, she forced herself to get out of bed. She went through her morning routine almost robotically—showering, getting dressed, and eating a light breakfast of yogurt and fruit—unable to forget the hope in Aiden’s eyes when he’d told her he loved her and his imploring expression when he’d asked her to take a chance on them and at least try.
She wandered around her apartment, picking up things and putting them away, and came across the small purse she’d taken to his mother’s house yesterday. And inside, she found that silly tadpole USB drive with the playlist of music that Aiden had made for her and the baby. Despite how she was feeling, the gift made her smile, and she downloaded the playlist, then put her earbuds in and listened to the songs he’d chosen.
It didn’t take her long to realize that this playlist had a theme. The first song was “All of Me” by John Legend, followed by “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri, and on to “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran, all beautiful, emotional, heartfelt lyrics that spoke to how he felt about her. She laughed when “Having Your Baby” by Paul Anka sounded in her ears, and couldn’t hold back her tears when, finally, lastly, “Marry Me” by Train came on.
The entire playlist took her breath away and filled her heart with so much love she could barely contain it. In these songs, Aiden had essentially put himself out there, making himself vulnerable for her. Because he loved her and wanted her. How could she ever doubt otherwise?
This amazing man wasn’t trying to take anything away from her . . . he was attempting to give her everything a woman could ever want and more. If she’d just take that leap of faith and trust him. She’d be crazy not to take that chance, because she had nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
She gasped as a light, tumbling motion happened inside her stomach, and she pressed a hand to her belly, knowing she’d felt the first movement of her baby, who seemed to approve of her decision to let go of the past and try with Aiden.
