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“Are you both clean?” I ask, and they assure me they are. “Put on your pajamas and pick your books, you little monsters.”
“Put us down!” Jackson exclaims. I set them both on their feet, and they run toward their bedrooms. Kacee sticks her head around the corner as they run by.
“You can take one,” I offer. I consider it an olive branch in my own head, even a reluctant one.
“Sure,” Kacee agrees easily. “Which one?”
Neither, I think to myself, but I don’t dare say that. “Try Jackson. He’s on picture books still.” I also secretly want to see what’s going to happen in the next chapter of Evie’s book, but that’s neither here nor there. Kacee’s still staring at me, and I look down at myself and notice my shirt’s damp from the kids.
Kacee smiles before vanishing toward Jackson’s room, and I head to Evie’s. She falls asleep halfway through the next chapter. I kiss her forehead and whisper goodnight to her before shutting off her light before I close the door behind me. I stop in Jackson’s room to find Kacee tucking the covers up around his chest.
“Out like a light,” Kacee whispers with a smile. I come around her and kiss Jackson’s head, tucking him in tighter trying to ignore Kacee’s eyes on me.
“He’s a heavy sleeper,” I tell her before leaving the room. Kacee follows, shutting the door softly behind us. “You know which one’s your room?”
“Penelope pointed it out,” Kacee says, and I nod, glancing toward my own room.
“Well,” I say, wondering what else I should tell her and come up blank. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” she replies. We both stand to look at one another for a moment before I turn and head into my room. I hear her door click shut a few moments after mine does, and I sigh, finally exhaling. Kacee’s presence has made me tense, and I find myself in bed, lying awake, thinking about her for just a little longer than I would’ve liked before I finally fall asleep.
I wake up around six in the morning, as always. I take a shower and get dressed then head to the kitchen to make breakfast. Also, like every morning, Evie follows me, rubbing her face as she yawns. She sits in the window seat in the kitchen and watches me make breakfast. I enjoy the time we spend together before the day kicks off.
“Is Kacee going to stay?” Evie asks into the silence, the only other sound is the bacon popping in the pan. I keep my eyes on the stovetop.
“Do you like her?” I ask. Evie makes a little humming sound.
“Yeah,” she finally replies. “I’m really excited for a new friend. Betsy in my book has lots of friends.” She places her hand against the window, then pulls it off, watching the mark it makes. “I want to have lots of friends, too. And Kacee’s really nice.”
“Yeah. She is.” I turn my attention back to the bacon and try to suppress my feelings of guilt. I’ve never considered what I’ve been keeping Evie from experiencing, only that I’m helping her stay safe. Glancing at Evie again, I think I might let Kacee stay on longer. I would do anything for my kids, even if I’m not entirely sure I like it yet.
“Good morning,” Kacee says, being pulled into the kitchen by Jackson. “I heard we make breakfast together in the mornings.”
“If we all wake up on time,” I say, raising an eyebrow at Jackson, who giggles.
“I woke Kacee up for breakfast!” Jackson exclaims. I glance at Kacee, then back at Jackson.
“You shouldn’t wake people up, kid,” I tell him. “It’s rude.”
“But she would’ve missed it,” Jackson says, emphatically. Kacee lets him lead her to a seat at the kitchen table.
“It’s really okay.” Kacee smiles. “I wouldn’t want to miss breakfast.”
“See?” Jackson says as if this proves his point. He takes the seat on Kacee’s left, and Evie scrambles from the window to take the spot on Kacee’s right before I can. I watch Evie and Jackson tell Kacee all about their plans for the day. Kacee listens and nods. She looks good even after being woken up at 6:30 in the morning by a five-year-old. Her hair is no longer in a braid, and she looks tired, but she seems genuinely happy to be here, almost glowing.
“You can stay,” I say, almost surprising myself. I didn’t intend to say that right away, and Kacee, Evie, and Jackson all look up at me at once. I slide the bacon onto a plate and bring it and the plate of eggs to the table.
“What I mean is, you can stay for a week. We’ll work out lesson plans or whatever. All that stuff. In a week, we’ll check in. See how it’s going,” I clarify.
“You already said we’d do a trial run,” Kacee reminds me with a smirk. I nod and take my seat.
“Right, well, just clarifying.” I hold back an embarrassed smile then look at the table filled with food. “Eat up, it’s gonna be a long day.”
Kacee serves the children first, then waits for me before helping herself. I keep my eyes on my plate and think how long this day is really going to be.
4
Kacee
