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I wake up with a good feeling—like things are going quite well.
I’ve only been with Parker and the kids for a week, but every day feels like I’m taking a big step forward. I’ve already realized Jackson is a visual learner, and I’ve started adapting how I teach him. Evie loves reading, so I’ve been working with her on that. I feel I get to know them more with each passing hour. After two weeks of sitting around my apartment, the feeling is so satisfying.
I get up and make sure Jackson is awake—after our first morning, the excitement died down for him, so he doesn’t get up on his own. According to Parker, this is his normal behavior and has never been a morning person. Unlike Evie, who wakes up at the crack of dawn and sits with her father while he makes breakfast. By the time I get Jackson up and into the kitchen, Evie is already eating, and Parker is sitting across from her with his own plate.
“Good morning,” Jackson calls to them, still holding tight to my hand as we enter the kitchen. He releases my hand and climbs into his chair, and I take the seat between him and his sister, which has somehow become my seat in the past week.
“Good morning,” I echo as Evie picks up one of the plates left and passes it over to me. I set it in front of Jackson and take the next plate as my own. Parker barely glances up at me, but he does look at Jackson to wish him a good morning. I focus on getting Jackson eggs instead of dwelling on Parker because doing that never does me any good. He’s burning hot one minute and cold the next. It seems like he’s constantly trying to keep himself from smiling, or laughing, or feeling any kind of positive emotions around me. It’s too painful to watch sometimes, to see someone who so deliberately wants to keep themselves so protected.
“What’re we doing today, Kacee?” Evie asks, after politely swallowing her food. Parker gives her a half-smile before turning back to his plate.
“I was thinking today would be an English day,” I tell her. She grins while Jackson groans.
“I hate reading,” Jackson tells me, frowning.
“Then I guess I’ll just have to come up with something else, won’t I?” I wink at him. Jackson brightens up a little because he’s been enjoying the challenges I make up for him while his sister reads. Today, I’ve got a stack of comic books I found in a closet, and I think the pictures will help him move along and encourage him to read the words.
“What’re you doing today, Daddy?” Evie asks. She sips at her milk quietly. She’s one of the best-behaved children I’ve ever worked with, but she has a wild side to her. She likes to be in charge and loves to talk, and she enjoys spending time with adults—probably a side-effect of not spending any time with other children, though some kids just have that inclination. She’s hard to tear away from her father’s side, and even harder to get to stop talking and focus on a task once she gets going.
Jackson, on the other hand, will focus on a task once he’s asked to do it, but has a hard time getting started. He mostly follows his sister’s lead, but I’m not sure how much longer that’ll last. Evie is bossy, bu
t Jackson is a leader, and I don’t see him allowing her to boss him around for much longer. He’s starting to gain the ability to say no and follow through on it.
“Well,” Parker says, in answer to Evie’s question. ” I have a few hours of work to do on my computer, then I was thinking I’d chop up some more firewood, so we’re all stocked up again.”
Over the past week, I’ve learned that Parker is a computer consultant and works at his own leisure. I’m not sure how well that pays considering he only works a few hours here and there, but it probably helps they live a very simple life up here. Without crossing those lines, I haven’t asked him those details yet.
“We’re gonna start doing the fires again?” Jackson asks excitedly. Evie is already beaming. These two kids really love their dad and the work they do together. They need to socialize and be educated, for sure, but at least they’re not unhappy being here.
“Yeah,” Parker tells them. “Don’t get too excited though. We won’t start until it gets colder.”
“We should do one tonight!” Jackson exclaims although it’s already quite warm outside, despite it being morning.
“I don’t think so, kid,” Parker replies.
Our plates are empty, so I stand to start collecting them. Parker scowls at me, then rises to do the job. His brows furrow.
“Sit down,” he instructs. “I don’t need your help with this.”
The three of us stare at him. I watch him for another moment longer before doing as he says. Parker takes the empty plates and heads to the sink with them. Evie pats me on the hand.
“Sometimes Daddy likes doing things alone,” she says. I watch Parker wash the dishes and wonder if he likes it or if he needs to do things alone to feel useful. Based on how long he’s been a single father, I’m leaning toward the latter.
I don’t like the way he snaps at me like I’m one of his kids, but I understand this is his house and he’s been the only adult here for a long time. I can imagine it being a significant change for him.
Once the kitchen is clean, the kids and I go to our lessons. Just as I predicted, Jackson is in love with the comic books. He’s still on a long road to learning how to actually read them, but he adores trying, which is a step in the right direction.
Evie is keeping up her own pace with a slow, small chapter book, and she only asks a few questions. Most of my time during their literature lessons is dedicated to helping Jackson sound out the words. I’m almost pissed Parker didn’t start teaching him sooner. It’s made his ability to learn this now much harder. Though I know it’s not an impossible task, I just wish he had a better grasp for his age. I’m confident I can get him there though, as long as Parker allows me to stay.
While I’m at the breakfast nook with them, helping them read, I can see Parker outside chopping firewood. He looks way too good with that axe between his hands, and though I try to ignore those types of thoughts that fill my mind, it’s hard to deny them.
It’s creeping into late afternoon. The sun is orange and just setting over the mountains. There’s a beautiful rolling hill and some cliff-tops beyond. Evie and Jackson keep telling me they’ll take me on the trail to the top of it. Parker mostly keeps quiet during conversations like those.
I know he’s not sure if he wants me around, but I know by now that he needs me here. Now that I’m involved in their daily lives, I can see how much help he really needs. I’m surprised Penelope didn’t contact me, or anyone else sooner, but then again people tend to turn a blind eye to family. I just hope I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. I have personally vested interest in these kids now, as well as in their father, and I don’t think it’d be good for them if I left.
Sometimes I worry my interest in Parker goes a little too far, I pretend it’s just a stupid crush. He’s good-looking in an obvious way, and I’d have to be blind not to find him attractive. However, moments like this don’t help.
Parker’s shirtless, wearing only a pair of worn, holey jeans and boots, swinging his axe over and over, cutting cleanly through the wood. His muscles flex, and his abs are on full display, sweat dripping down his chest. I keep trying not to get distracted, but in the lulls where the children don’t ask for my help, it’s hard not to look and admire. I have a perfect view of him outside too. Watching him shove his messy, dark hair from his face, I can’t help but think how sexy he is. He’s not like the men in the city, not by a long shot, which intrigues me even more. I put my chin in my hand and watch as he lifts the axe again and slices another chunk of wood in half. The muscles in his shoulders all shift, working as he moves, and Evie clears her throat.
