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It’s all of it, I finish in my mind. It’s all too much for him. I’m too much for him.
I’m not sure what triggered this, but I’m not going to be a doormat while he figures his shit out.
“Fine,” I snap. “I’ll leave.”
He looks up at me like he’s surprised I’m not arguing to stay, even though he’s the one who suggested it.
“What?” I glare at him, folding my arms over my chest to keep from pushing him out of my way. “Do you want me to fight to stay? Beg you to keep me? Did you c
ome out here to yell at me in front of the kids so that I’d ask you not to? Because if so, you’re sick.”
“No,” he grits between his teeth, seething that I even suggested that possibility.
“God. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid.”
I spent so much time trying not to end up like my parents and look where it got me. How could I have possibly let this happen? Especially now, especially when I’m—
I force myself to stop the train of thought and look back at him.
“I’m sorry, but it has to be this way. Kacee, I can’t—” he stops, snapping his jaw shut. We stare at each other for a long moment before I finally break the deafening silence.
“Fuck off,” I tell him. I can feel myself getting close to tears, but there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I let them spill over, and they trickle down my cheeks. My whole face feels hot and wet, and everything is too overwhelming. “I don’t deserve this.”
He looks at me for a moment as if he’s too defeated to argue. I’m not going to wait around for him to come to his senses, but walking away is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
I leave him there, going around the house, so Evie and Jackson don’t have to see me upset. I call a cab up from town and pack my bags while I wait for it. My mind is racing as I shove my clothes and things into the suitcase, cursing myself for falling so damn hard for this emotionally unstable man. After all this time, I really thought what we had was something special and real. Turns out, it was all one-sided.
As I walk out of my room and down the hallway, Evie and Jackson are sitting on the couch waiting for me. I feel awful leaving them like this and am so disappointed and hurt Parker is doing this to all of us.
“Please don’t leave,” Evie cries as they both run toward me and clench my thighs. “What’d we do wrong?” she asks and it breaks my heart, causing the dam to pour out and fall down my cheeks.
Kneeling to their levels, I grab their hands and look them in the eyes. “Absolutely nothing, sweetheart. You two are the best things to happen to me in a long time. Okay? I promise.”
“Then why do you have to go?” Jackson asks, looking the saddest I’ve ever seen him.
I force out a smile, though it’s covered in salty tears. Changing a look, I spot Parker in the kitchen with his hands clasped behind his head, looking distraught. “It’s just time, sweetie. Don’t be sad okay. I love you both very much.” They wrap their little arms around me, and I reign in my emotions to keep them from crying.
Once I stand, Parker takes notice and stares at me. So many thoughts, so many things I should say, so many questions. I don’t know what happened this afternoon between screaming out his name and him waking up from his nap, but it’s clear he’s not ready to move forward after his late wife was killed. He’s living in the past, and until he chooses to live past the guilt, I’ll never fully have his heart.
“Goodbye, Parker,” I say harshly, my jaw tight with anger. His eyes snap to mine, but he doesn’t say a damn word.
The cab arrives shortly after and once I’m secure in the backseat and we start driving, I glance back at the cabin. It was my home for the last three months, and though it holds so many beautiful memories, those are now tainted with hurt and pain.
Once the cabin is no longer in view, I decide to call Penelope.
“Hey,” Penelope picks up the phone, cheerful as ever. “What’s up?”
I start to speak, but it comes out as a sob. I cover my mouth with my hand and shake my head. The cab driver looks at me in the rearview mirror, but I turn my attention to the view out the window.
“Hey, what happened?” Penelope asks. “Are you alright? The kids?”
“Everyone’s fine,” I manage to tell her. “Nobody’s hurt, I’m sorry, I just—” My voice breaks on another sob, and she makes a soft shushing sound over the phone.
“Hey,” she says again. “It’s okay. Don’t be sorry. Just tell me happened?”
“Parker,” I begin. “He just—I don’t know. Out of nowhere, he told me this wasn’t working out with me being here and told me to leave. So I packed my bags and called a cab. I just left the cabin. I didn’t know what else to do.” I press my hand to my mouth again and try to force myself to calm down. “I’m heading to a coffee shop in town. It’s the first place I could think of in Whitefish. Would you be able to pick me up and drive me back to the city to my apartment?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course.”
