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“Hi, Liam.”
“Hey, Harlow. I hope I’m not interrupting you. I know you’re quite busy nowadays.”
His resentment is almost palpable, but I set my jaw and take a calm, relaxing breath. I’m not going to let his feelings get to me.
“I’ve been busy, yes. Did you need help with something?”
“I just wanted to tell you that I’m done with the final edit for Secrets.”
“That's great.” I'm genuinely pleased to hear this. Kristen has been bugging me about getting the last few chapters from Liam, and now I can tell her we're finally done. After this, my time with Liam on this project will be done. That is until he's finished with the sequel. I don't even want to think about that right now. I have my eyes on the prize: after he sends these my way, I won't hear from him for a few months. By then I'll have surely gotten over him.
“I also wanted to say that you've helped me more than I ever could've hoped for. At first, I didn't like how much you wanted to change, but I see that you only wanted to make this book the best it could be. And I appreciate that. I appreciate you. Everything we did together.”
Despite everything, his words hit me directly in the heart, and I can’t help but tear up. For a moment, my steak threatens to come back up my throat. I squeeze my eyes shut and force myself to swallow hard. I can do this. I can do this.
“It was great to work with you too, Liam. I’m hoping things go smoothly with the second book.” It’s cold and robotic, and I almost don’t even recognize myself. He must hate me. If I were in his shoes, I’d hate me. Hell, part of me hates myself right now.
There’s a long moment of silence before Liam finally continues. “I’ll have the last edits sent to you shortly. Have a good night, Harlow.”
“You too.”
I feel my heart break all over again, and I’ve completely lost my appetite. I want to break down completely and let all of my emotions out, but I can’t. Instead, I let it simmer inside me while I wait for the waitress to come around and take my card. Finally, when I make it to my car, I climb inside and press my forehead against the steering wheel, letting out the ache that’s been in my heart for the past three weeks.
I cry thinking of how Liam must feel. To have me so close and then disappear as quickly as we met. I cry thinking of myself and how much I hate doing what I know is the right thing. I can't risk something like this. I can't put my job on the line for someone I can't even be sure is faithful. It's too much, especially when I've worked for so many years trying to prove myself. I cry thinking of how unfair this situation is and how I
wish I could go back to the start and stop us before we even started.
If I could, I would turn down his advances from the first time we ever talked. It would save everyone from the heartbreak. But I can’t. All I can do is live with the choices I’ve made and try to learn from them.
From now on, I won’t even consider messing around with someone that I work with. If anyone else tries even half of what Liam did, I’ll let them down gently, this time sticking to my word. I don’t have room in my heart for another pain like this, and I won’t voluntarily put myself through this again.
I sit up and wipe my eyes, checking the mirror to make sure I don't have mascara all over my face. When I've gotten a hold of myself, and I'm no longer sobbing like some pathetic woman in a romance movie, I straighten up and center my focus. It takes a moment, but soon my head is back on straight, and I'm able to regain my composure.
Carefully, I back out of my parking space and head home.
12
Liam
I could’ve sent the last few chapters to Harlow days ago, but I haven’t. I didn’t want to. It’s the last thing keeping us in contact. The last lifeline I have in this. I’ve spent nights lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering where I went wrong with her. I tried to be better than I’d been in the past. I made her a priority. I showed her where my loyalties were. But something inside of her, something she didn’t open up to me about, won’t let her enjoy this. I can’t argue with that, so I’ve stopped trying.
Instead, I've decided to get the answer I want. No, the answer I need. The reason she pulled away when I would've given her anything in the world.
My flight is slow, and I wish I could get some sleep and wake up when it’s all over. Early flights usually put me right to sleep again, but I can’t sit still. I bounce my foot incessantly, fidgeting with my tablet and trying to focus on outlining the sequel to Dirty Little Secrets. If I'm honest, though, I can't even look at this sequel in this state of mind. The last thing I want to do is dive back into a world full of tumultuous relationships and scandals. I have enough of that in the real world to last me a lifetime.
Destiny tried contacting me a week after I landed back in Colorado, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider it. She knows how to make me feel good—even temporarily—and that's what I need. A distraction to keep me from wallowing away in my sorrows about a woman I never should've gone after in the first place. But I couldn't do that to Destiny.
She was mad, but she'd get over it. She deserved better than a rebound fuck. And knowing her, she might read more into it than intended. Going down that route was asking for more trouble in my already fucked up situation.
Rather than playing that game, I decided to catch a flight for New York City. I need to get to the bottom of this. Something in my gut tells me Harlow isn’t being honest, and I’ve never been one to let things stay unfinished. I need to talk to her.
When I make it to her office, the woman at the front desk takes my name and starts to reach for the phone to let Harlow know I’m on my way. “Actually,” I say, suddenly. “Can we let this be a surprise?”
The receptionist smiles and puts the phone down. “Sure. I think she’ll be happy to see you here. You can head on up.”
I thank her and walk to the elevator, holding my messenger bag close. Inside are the final chapters of my book. A delivery by hand isn't what Harlow meant when she asked me to send them over, but I need to see her. For my sanity.
The elevator doors open, and I’m greeted with a beautiful office. I meet eyes with Kristen and she covers her mouth, hurrying over to greet me.
