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“Something’s bothering you. Is it that guy that Mom told me about?”
I groan and roll my eyes. Of course, Mom couldn't just let our private conversation be private. There's no telling who all she's told
. I make a mental note to give her a piece of my mind whenever I get the chance. Britney gives me an expectant look.
Giving in, I shrug. “Yes, it’s about that guy.”
“Who is he?”
Out of all the people I know, Britney's the one that wouldn't judge me. Tyler might give me a look and speak to me with his Big Brother Voice, and Mom would have a fit if she knew I was having trouble with my client. But Britney? We've kept secrets for each other since we were little.
“He’s Liam,” I admit, too ashamed to look up and meet her eyes. I don’t even have to see her to know she’s scandalized, probably with a huge smile plastered on her face. She loves finding out other people’s drama, just like Mom. The only difference is, she doesn’t try to include herself in it or sensationalize it.
“No way,” she says.
“Yes way. I know, I know. It’s wrong, and that’s why I broke things off with him.”
She puts her fork down and looks at me. “Wait, this is new. Last time Mom and I talked, you two were still super happy, and you were going to talk to him about your feelings. What happened?”
I catch her up to date on everything that I told him in the hotel room. How I couldn't do long distance relationships. How I wasn't sure if it was appropriate anymore. Every excuse but the one I was too afraid to admit to him. That he might cheat on me like he did with his last girlfriend. That if he did that, I would fall apart entirely and everything we'd built would come crumbling down.
Britney nods as she listens. Finally, she says, “But you still have feelings for him, huh? That’s why you’re torn between wondering whether you did the right thing or not.”
She’s a psychic, it seems. “I guess…”
“I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes. Have you talked to him since he left town a few weeks ago?”
“Not about anything aside from work.” At this point, Liam must hate me. I said we could still be friends, but after he flew back to Colorado, I knew that I couldn’t even manage that. Rather than chatting like we used to, I’ve limited our conversation to work-related things only. Edits, rewrites, and the like. Nothing about what movies I was watching or how much he wanted to see me. Our late-night Skype calls weren’t even brought up again.
I hate feeling this cruel, but I know that if I’m going to get over him and put this behind me, I have to tear the bandage off completely. Hopefully one day he’ll understand that I’m only doing it to protect myself from any unnecessary pain that might come my way.
“I say let the past be the past, and you focus on your other clients. That's the best way to get through a breakup,” Britney says. “You put all your attention on work and don't let him distract you with his charm or his charisma. Not even his gorgeous beard or how attractive he—”
I throw a piece of rice at her, and she bursts out laughing. The kids come running through the kitchen again, and Britney raises her voice, telling them to take it back to the playroom. Without missing a beat, the kids hurry back down the hall.
“Thank you for lunch, by the way,” she says.
“No need to thank me. It’s been too long since we’ve gotten together.”
She nods and massages the bridge of her nose. “Tell me about it. I feel like I’m losing my minds with these kids. Andrew’s not around to help as often as he used to be now that he’s started working overtime every weekend, so I’m the one having to take care of everything on my own.”
“Have you considered getting a nanny?” I offer.
She squints at me. “Seriously? No way. I can take care of them myself. I just need a break now and then.”
“How about we start making this a regular thing? Every week I'll come over with lunch, and we'll sit and talk. You can take a nap, and I'll help with the kids while you sleep.”
Britney looks surprised. “You'd do that for me?”
“Of course! I never get to see them anyways. I feel like it’s a win-win situation for the both of us. So, what do you say? Are you in or are you in?”
“I’m in.” She laughs, pulling me into a long, firm hug.
After lunch, I take the kids out for ice cream, loading them up in my car and waving at Britney. Just like she doesn't envy my scenario, I'm starting to slowly realize that I don't envy hers either. I used to be so incredibly jealous of everything she had. She was the perfect mother with the perfect family and the perfect husband. But that's not how things are for her.
Britney's overworked and underappreciated, like most mothers, and she rarely has a moment to herself. She loves her kids, but they wear her out, and as much as she protests the idea of a nanny, I don't think Andrew can offer much help given his long hours at work. She's always juggling something. Britney's not a perfect mom, she's a real one, and I can finally see past my jealousy. I'm sure she feels the same way now that I've stopped pretending that my publishing job is flawless and as swanky as everyone thinks it is.
When the afternoon melts into the night, and I’ve dropped the kids off, I grab a bite to eat at my favorite restaurant, scrolling through my emails and trying to solve the ever-growing crises of all my clients. Some have missed their deadlines and others have turned their edits in weeks before I’m ready. It’s always a hassle, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Once I get caught up on everything and I’ve replied to anyone waiting on me, Liam’s name pops up on my caller ID. I wipe my mouth with my napkin and take his call.
