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you hate to hate is exhausting.
So, Koyal had let go. Finally, let go.
Let go of the love, let go of the hate.
Koyal Hansini Raje, Senior Product Manager at one of the largest companies of the world, working in one of the biggest cities in the world, had turned her life around and was finally, finally, beginning to feel happy.
‘Well done, you,’ mumbled Koyal to herself as she switched on the light, blissfully unaware of what life was about to throw at her next.
16
Happiness, Koyal had realized, is neither our birthright nor does it come with the big things you would imagine it does. It has to be pursued, relentlessly pursued, and is usually found in the smaller things. Playing with babies, dancing to bad songs, laughing nonstop with a friend.
Hema’s house was, to put it mildly, a madhouse. And it delighted Koyal. She revelled in the madness.
A day before she had passed away, Ma had looked at Koyal sitting by her side and smiled. ‘Do you know what I wish someone had told me?’ Ma had asked.
‘What?’
‘That we all have very little time.’
‘Ma…’
‘No, not just me, but everyone. And even lesser time during which we are young and healthy. No one realizes how precious youth and health are till they no longer have them. So, Koyal, I want you to not just exist, but live. Shout, dance, sing, dress well, put on red lipstick, go for your dreams … Live, don’t just exist.’
Live, don’t just exist.
At the party, Koyal laughed and ate and drank. She played with the little kids and gossiped about Bollywood stars with the aunties. And when the party broke into a dance, it was Koyal who pulled Akki Uncle on to the dance floor. As Koyal danced, she knew, somewhere up there, Ma was smiling her widest.
And probably shaking a leg too.
The Chandras insisted Koyal stay back for the night and Koyal happily agreed. Dinner was going to be a quiet, family affair, but Akki was more excited about it than he had been for the party. Arjun, their son, who couldn’t reach Kent in time for the party, was expected to arrive soon with some of his friends.
They trooped into the conservatory, easily Koyal’s favourite part of the house. Koyal and Akki started a game of chess and she settled in with a contented sigh. The Chandras had a happy home and it was, Koyal realized, easier to breathe in happy homes.
The doorbell pierced through the peace and, in an instant, all hell broke lose.
The dog began barking excitedly. Akki guffawed and then beamed around. Hema dropped the cushion she had been fluffing and rushed to the door to welcome her son.
‘Your turn,’ Akki said, grinning at Koyal, pointing to the chessboard, and then turned to stare expectantly at the doorway.
Koyal sat there, staring at the board, trying and failing to concentrate. Faint sounds from the doorway were already reaching her, distracting her. She had heard too much about Arjun that evening to not be curious.
Hema’s excited voice. Laughter. Someone saying something. More laughter. The dog’s barks. A man’s voice. Another distinct, lower voice.
And another voice…
Koyal’s heart skipped a beat. The third voice – no, it was not familiar, no, it could not be familiar … she did not know it … it was too muffled … it was a voice she had heard before … it was possibly like a voice she had heard before…
Koyal sat still, her hands and feet turning ice cold in an instant.
Stop this nonsense this moment, she rebuked herself silently, wondering why her body was reacting in the manner it was.
And then she heard Hema say that name.
No, she told herself furiously, she had misheard.
Staring hard at the chessboard, but not really seeing anything any more, Koyal strained her ears, her heart thumping, every cell in her body now focused on the sounds reaching her.
