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“Okay,” Brett said, his eyes on Jack. “You’ll get my kids out on the water?”
“Got it covered.” Jack’s hand was on her elbow. “We’ll see you guys in the morning.”
Donovan let Jack lead her outside, and she turned her face to the sky, drinking in the moonlight and the millions of stars that blanketed it.
“Watch your step,” Jack said gruffly when she stumbled over a knotted root from one of the trees that lined the path.
They trudged back to the boathouse and then up the steps that led to Jack’s cottage in silence, Coco following in their steps, the dog unnaturally quiet. Donovan supposed the little creature sensed how somber the mood had gotten, and she was more than happy to settle into silence.
Once inside, Jack crossed over to the bar and scooped up a bottle of scotch and nothing else. He turned without a word and headed back into the night.
For the longest time, Donovan stood alone in the middle of the great room with Coco panting at her heels. She was so messed up. Sad and scared and, well, she was also mad as hell.
She was mad at everything.
She glanced up at her room, the one that was farthest away from Jack’s, the silence of the room weighing on her like a stone.
Because most of all, Donovan was mad at herself for letting Derek McKenzie, a night gone wrong, and her past control her. She was mad because she’d let someone like Cooper Simon dictate her future.
S
he thought of what Sabrina had said, and she was ashamed because the woman was right. And because Donovan James was in the ‘settling for less’ club. Hell, she was the president of it. Jack Simon was the love of her life and for the first time, she began to question all of her choices. The ones that had led to her breaking it off with him, because she thought it was for the best.
At the time, it had been because she thought it was best for Jack. But really, with the long lens of time behind her, she knew she’d done it because she was a coward, and that it was not so much about Jack as it was about Donovan.
What did that say about herself, that she was willing to throw their love away? Did it mean that her love was so great she was willing to sacrifice all just to save him? Or was it to save herself? And if so, from what?
And what did it say about that night…that night she couldn’t exactly remember? The night she’d been so heartbroken over her fight with Jack. The night she’d had more wine than she should have?
The night Derek had taken her to his bed and then taped the whole damn thing? He’d used her, and she’d let him.
She groaned, more confused than ever, and slowly made her way up to her bedroom. She undressed and slipped under the covers, not bothering with a nightshirt.
Coco jumped onto the pillow beside her and there beneath the moonlight that streamed in from her window, the little dog was the only one to witness her tears.
Tears for Sabrina, Brett and their kids.
Tears for Jack and what might have been.
Tears for the girl she’d been and the woman she’d become.
It was a long time before she fell asleep. So long that she was aware when Jack came back. He was obviously drunk, and she heard him curse more than once as he banged into things on his way upstairs. She froze when she heard his steps heading not in the direction of his bedroom, but toward hers.
She bit her lip, eyes on the door when she heard him on the other side and she slid up onto her elbows, moistening lips salty from her tears.
“Jack,” she whispered, heart suddenly beating out of her chest. She would make things right. She would tell him everything. She would…
But his steps retreated and she jumped when she heard him slam his own door shut.
Donovan James stared into the darkness for so long that everything blurred. Everything melted together and became this thing that was so intimidating she didn’t want to think about any of it.
She’d do that tomorrow. Maybe.
Donovan burrowed back into the covers and fell asleep.
Chapter Seventeen
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