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Miserable, she could only nod and whisper. “Me too.”
“Don’t give up on him,” Darlene said softly.
“I don’t think that’s the problem this time,” she replied. She stepped out into the rain and walked back to her car. There was no reason to hurry considering this had been a fool’s errand from the start.
“He’s not here, Tash.” The dog stared at her from her perch on the seat and whimpered, butting her head against Ruby’s hand. With sluggish movements, she maneuvered the car out of the driveway and once more found herself driving along River Road.
She drove aimlessly. Not in any real hurry to go home. A home that, while exquisite and large, thoroughly new and modern, was empty. Who was she kidding? It wasn’t a home. Not really. At least it didn’t feel that way right now, if it ever did.
Ruby found herself driving through downtown Crystal Lake. It was Saturday, so the place was busy, but the rain had put a damper on things. Families and couples ran down the sidewalks, seeking shelter. She watched a young couple, the male cradling a young child as they laughingly ran into the Ice Cream Shoppe. It broke her heart. Another time and place, a past that hadn’t imploded, and that could have been her and Travis.
And Nathan.
She sat at the traffic light, lost in thought, staring at the doorway in which the young family had disappeared. She didn’t move until a blaring horn sounded behind her. And by this time, her eyes were so blurred with tears, she couldn’t see. Ruby drove to the next intersection and hung a right. She blinked to clear her eyes and pulled over when she realized where she was. When she realized Travis’s truck was there as well.
By now, the rain was falling steady and, because of the wind, had some force behind it. Large drops slammed against her windshield. They splashed against the road, bouncing up an inch or so. Ruby let herself out of her car and ran down a path she’d traversed many times. Tasha ran beside her, and both of them were panting by the time she reached the gravesite.
The dog ran past her, barking madly when she spied Travis, and the small animal didn’t stop until she sat beside him. He didn’t acknowledge the dog. He didn’t turn around to face Ruby. He just stared down at the small granite marker, hands fisted at his side.
She shoved long tendrils of hair from her face—she must have lost the hairclip at some point—and took a few steps closer.
“Travis.” She barely whispered his name, but his body jerked at the sound of her voice.
“Why are you here, Ruby?” He angled his head to the side and listened.
She studied his profile. The strong jaw, a nose that had been broken more than once, and the ache inside her grew. His voice was cold. Devoid of emotion. She closed the distance between them and stood a few inches to his left.
“I wanted to apologize.”
He looked at her then, and her insides quaked at the anger in his eyes. Hurt didn’t begin to cover the host of things she saw.
“For this morning,” she blurted. The rain let up a bit, and she wiped moisture from her eyes. “I didn’t mean for you to hear that. It’s not what I…” Her voice caught, and she had to work hard to push out the rest of the words. “I was going to tell you some things and try to explain.”
He stepped toward her, so close now that she could see the drops of rain on his eyelashes. “Things? Go on. Tell me.”
This wasn’t the place. But then would there ever be the perfect time? Perfect place? Her teeth started to chatter, and she wrapped her arms around herself, looking for comfort. Looking for strength.
“I didn’t use you for sex, Travis. You have to believe me.”
His mouth tightened, and he didn’t say a thing. Thoughts jumbled, she struggled for a way to make him see.
“You’re like this pothole.”
“What?” His frown darkened.
“A big pothole that I’m not sure I can climb out of.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
“I know.” Frustrated, she swore and shook her head, long wet strands of hair slapping her in the face as a reward. Why was this so hard for her?
“You’ve had me running in circles for weeks now, and I’m done, Ruby. I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t take the hot and cold. The long silences when I don’t know what the hell is going on inside that head or yours. I told you I’m sorry for the past. Told you I’ve changed. I want to be a family again. I want that with you.”
Pain bloomed in her chest, and she forced herself to speak the words she’d been holding back for days. “I can’t give that to you. We had our chance, and…” Her gaze dropped to Nathan’s headstone. “It’s gone,” she whispered.
He grabbed her. Put his hands on her shoulders and dragged her close. “You don’t mean that. I know you feel the same, Ruby. I know it.”
She blinked rapidly, trying to sweep the tears from her eyes. “Watching you last night, holding your nephew, broke my heart.” She looked up at him. “And not for the reason you think. I saw how awkward you were at first. How you didn’t want Hudson to hand over his son. But
