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“Of course,” said Roosevelt. “A hired hand. If any of this were true.”
“Antonio Branco is no hired hand,” said Bell. “He is personally committed to killing you. He’ll call in a huge marker that Culp will be happy to pay.”
“Poppycock!”
Van Dorn started to answer. Isaac Bell interrupted again.
“We would not be taking up your valuable time this morning if the threat were ‘poppycock,’ Mr. President. You say you worry about revolution? If the atmosphere is so volatile, couldn’t a second presidential assassination, so soon after the last, trigger that revolution?”
“I repeat,” Roosevelt barked. “Poppycock! I’m going to the Catskill Mountains. If your lurid fancies have any basis in truth, I’ll be safe as can be on the Navy’s newest battleship.”
“May I ask, Mr. President, how do you happen to be traveling to the Catskill Mountains by battleship?”
“Up the Hudson River to Kingston, where we’ll board an Ulster & Delaware special to inspect the reservoir, eventually take the special down to the siphon.” He laughed and said to Van Dorn, “Shall I order the railroad to lay on an armored train?”
“I’ll see to it,” said Van Dorn.
“I’ll bet you will and slap the government with a mighty bill.”
Van Dorn’s expression could have been a smile.
Isaac Bell said, “Sir, will you please agree to obey closely instructions your Secret Service corps issue for your protection?”
“Of course,” the President answered with a sly grin. “So long as I can make my speech . . . Listen here, young fellow, you run down those supposed criminals. I’ll speechify the greatest aqueduct ever dug and”—he plunged a hand into his pocket and he pulled out a crumpled bill—“five bucks says my battleship and I finish first.”
Isaac Bell slapped down a gold coin. “Double it.”
“You’re mighty sure of yourself.”
“You’ll have to trade your battleship for ice skates, Mr. President. Last time I looked, the Hudson River was freezing solid.”
“Connecticut’s eleven-inch armor belt will smash ice.”
Isaac Bell held off reminding the Commander-in-Chief that USS Connecticut’s armor tapered to only four inches in her bow, but he could not resist saying, “Far be it from me to advise a military man, Mr. President, but how do your admirals feel about the Connecticut smashing ice with her propeller blades?”
TR threw up his hands. “O.K., O.K. I’ll take the train. That satisfy you?”
“Only canceling your public appearances until we nail Culp and Branco will satisfy me.”
“Then you’re bound for disappointment. I’m going and that’s all there is to it. Now get out of here. I have a country to run.”
Bell and Van Dorn retreated reluctantly.
“Wait!” Roosevelt called after them, “Detective Bell. Is that true?”
“Is what true, Mr. President?”
“The Hudson River is freezing early.”
“It’s true.”
“Bully!”
“Why ‘bully,’ sir?”
“They’ll be racing when I’m there.”
Van Dorn asked, “What kind of racing?”
