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Sian knew that he had at least discussed it with Wilhelmina, if not Cedrick as well.
Had Cedrick been telling the truth when he had told her it had all been arranged with her father this morning?
“God, you are reprehensible,” Sian spat in disgust. “I have never been as disgusted with anybody in my life as much as I am with you right now. You sicken me.”
“Now, Sian.”
“That witch turns up at this house in the middle of the night, puts demands on everybody, and then orders you to force me into marriage to that – that – oaf, and you just sit there limply and agree? How could you, father? How could you sell me? Does this family mean nothing to you?”
“That is enough!” Her father bellowed.
But Sian was not going to be silenced. “No. It is not enough. It is never going to be enough. I am sick of being quiet in this house. I am sick of everybody tiptoeing around you while you sit in here keeping everything to yourself, stubbornly refusing to tell anybody what trouble this family are in. Do you not consider that whatever has gone wrong involves all of us? Have you not bothered to consider that if you fail to sort out this family’s finances, we are all going to be out on our ears? Or do you expect to live off the riches selling your daughters will bring you; you and that spiteful, rude, ungracious sister of yours, and I am going to call her that because she shall never be worthy of being my aunt.”
“I said that is enough!” Arthur slammed a fist down on the table.
Sian folded her arms but refused to do as he told her. “Do you know something? I am sick of being a biddable daughter. I have done everything you have ever asked of me, when you have asked it of me. I have been quiet whenever you have told me to be, and for far too long. What has it earnt me? You don’t respect me. To you, I am nothing more than a commodity to be sold off to the highest bidder. I have kept my mouth shut and fretted and worried with your wife and my sisters, while we all sit and wonder if we are going to have a home to live in at the end of the year. You, meanwhile, have done everything possible to behave like a draconian workhouse master. Sit here, do that, talk to this person, go there, say something, don’t speak. All orders, all commands, to your army of servants here to do your bidding while you fritter away the family finances pretending you are going to improve things eventually, all the while that witch of a sister of yours takes every penny you own.”
“You have no idea what you are talking about,” Arthur growled. “I am not having any more of this, Sian. Get to your room.”
“Oh, so I am old enough to be married off but have to be treated like a child whenever I say something you don’t like to hear? God, you hypocrite. Well, guess what, father? You cannot and will not have everything your own way, no matter what you think. I am an adult now. I am a fully fledged grown up and it is about time you realised that. If you think for a second that I am going to allow you to use me to bail you out of the mess you have arrogantly gotten yourself into and let you sell me to Cedrick then you can think again. I can promise you this much, father, I shall ruin you before you succeed.”
Arthur, who had paled significantly during her outburst, slumped down into the chair behind his desk. He stared at her for a moment, completely dazed, before his gaze fell to the desk before him.
“You don’t understand,” he began.
“Oh, I know an arrogant oaf when I see one,” Sian hissed. “And before you ever make any arrangements for me to marry anybody, remember that you may lead a horse to water but you shall never force it to drink. Make whatever plans you like but you will have to marry Cedrick yourself because I never shall.”
“You will do as you are told,” Arthur snapped.
“That’s enough,” Mabel ordered from the doorway. “She has said no, so take that as her answer. No, Arthur, and that is the end of it. You are behaving like a monster. Shut up and sit down.”
But Sian wasn’t done yet. She rounded on Mabel. “Your problem, mother, is that you always think that everything is enough. There is enough food when there quite clearly isn’t. There is enough living, thinking, breathing, regardless of the fact we live in this house nothing more than mere shadows of what we used to be. Nobody dares to laugh anymore in case we disturb him. Nobody dares voice an opinion in case he objects. Nobody dares speak out of turn unless we get told off for having a voice. There is enough of a marriage, when you two barely speak to each other and when you do you bicker like children.”
“What would you know about marriage?” Mabel snapped.
“I know that I see two people who do everything possible to avoid each other. I have seen the looks you two give each other. It is as if you really don’t like each other very much anymore. After last night, I warn you both that you cannot even begin to pretend that everything is all right. We all heard you two arguing. I think the entire county heard you. We know this family is in dire financial straits. We all heard you discussing marrying us off to help your finances. How much worse do you want things to get before this family destroys itself? Do either of you care?”
“I refuse to be sold either,” Lucinda cried from the doorway. “I won’t do it.”
“Me neither.”
Sian closed her eyes when she heard Martha behind her. She didn’t need to look over her shoulder to know that they were crying. Their tears were evident in their voices.
“God, how could you even consider being so cruel? Does our happiness not count for anything to you? You are miserable, that much is
quite clear. So why would you want to subject us – your daughters – to an equally loveless marriage that will make us just as miserable as you?”
Arthur’s gaze slid to his wife, who stood quietly beside the door. She was pale and drawn but made no objection to Sian’s statement. It was clear that theirs was indeed a loveless marriage.
“Well, you might be prepared to do it, but I shall not allow you to condemn me to the same Fate, no matter what either of you think. You might feel arrogant enough to make your business deals while you sell us to the highest bidder. You can even put an advertisement boasting of your success in the newspapers. You can blast it to the entire country if you want to. You can book the wedding, invite the congregation, and make your monetary transactions as you sell me off like chattel, but I can promise you this, father, I shall never marry. I shall never say those words at that fateful moment, and I don’t care if you end up looking like the worst fool in Christendom.”
Sian’s voice was so clipped and forced that she didn’t sound like her even to herself. She physically shook with the ferocity of her statement and was struggling so hard to keep her tears at bay that she didn’t see anybody behind her when she whirled around to leave. Consequently, she slammed into Ryan with an ‘oomph’ of surprise.
At some point during her statement, he had entered the house because nobody had heard him knocking. He had heard every emotion-filled word Sian had just said. Sian, painfully aware of the warmth of Ryan’s palms, looked deeply into Ryan’s eyes. This was the closest she had ever been to him. It was a dream and a nightmare. It was wonderful, but heart breaking at the same time. Sian stepped back not least because of the blossoming pain that spread outward from the centre of her chest and overwhelmed her. After the last few moments, she knew that her future lay in tatters. She suspected that she was going to end up miserable no matter what happened. Ryan didn’t want her, and she was now even more likely to be forced into marriage if only so her husband could be a ‘steadying force’ that would ensure she adhered to stringent rules that suffocated her freedom. Sian suspected she knew who her future husband was, and it wasn’t the man she loved.
Everything is so hopeless, so what is the point?
Sian doubted she would ever be able to make decisions of her own, have a life of her own, or even future happiness. If she was lucky, her father would find her a suitor she could at least survive with but still, she would be sold to someone she really didn’t like very much. The thought of what came next was enough to make her want to wail at Fate for being so cruel.
