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“I should have stayed out of the way while he was here,” she whispered.
“Oh, but he didn’t hear,” Mabel assured her.
“Really?” Sian asked, trying desperately to find light in a world of misery.
“He heard every word and is furious about it,” Martha snorted with all the gauche honesty of youth.
Mabel tutted and sighed.
“Well, he hates me anyway,” Sian blustered defensively. “What will it matter if he hates me even more?”
It won’t matter. It won’t matter at all. I hate him too.
But she knew she didn’t. Ryan Terrell was the man of her dreams. He was everything she had ever wanted in a husband, and the only man who had ever, in her girlish fantasies at least, been her Knight in shining armour. He was bold, strong, confident, sophisticated, and a little bit roguish. He had an excellent reputation amongst the locals, and had wealth, status, and a huge mansion across the valley.
“I wouldn’t worry too much. He is a gentleman,” Mabel assured her daughter when she saw the distress Sian couldn’t quite hide. “There. Look. He is going now. Father is waving him off. He doesn’t look angry, does he?”
Sian studied her father, who merely looked thoughtful as he re-entered the house. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realise that everyone was still in the hallway, until he closed the door and realised his path to the study was blocked by the women in his life.
“What in the Devil’s name is going on?” he demanded.
“Mother is eyeing up the lord of the manor. She thinks he would make a suitable husband for Sian,” Lucinda informed him.
“He would not. Ryan Terrell would never consider someone like me as a wife,” Sian snapped.
“And why not? Eh? We are as good as any other well-to-do family around these parts. We already have an acquaintance with his father. Why wouldn’t Ryan consider taking one of you as his wife, eh? It’s not that unheard of, you know,” Mabel argued.
“Now, Mabel, let’s not get into all of that right now,” Arthur chided. His shoulders were stooped as he stomped down the hall to his study.
“Is there a problem? Did he bring you bad news?” Mabel asked hopefully, wondering if her husband was going to take her into his confidence this time.
“Yes,” Arthur grunted dismissively. He slammed the door to his study closed to give himself a few brief moments of blessed peace, and the women the opportunity to talk amongst themselves, and therefore missed his wife’s crestfallen expression before she turned away.
“He never changes, does he?” Sian growled.
“He has a lot on his mind,” Mabel offered.
“Like what? All he does is sit in his office all day. He doesn’t do anything, mother. That is why he is always grumpy. Don’t you think it is high time he found himself something to do?” Sian cried.
“Now, we are not going to go into that right now. For the time being, let’s go and take some tea, shall we?”
“Oh, yes, lets because tea really solves all of our problems, doesn’t it?” Sian snapped sarcastically. “Do you know what? I think my problems would be better resolved by going for a walk.”
She jerked when Lucinda gasped. “And no, Lucinda, you shall not come with me.”
Snatching her shawl back off the peg, Sian hurried through the house and, moments later, slammed out of the house. Her long legs ate up the distance to the garden gate, which gave the family access to the fields and moors at the back of the house. The open countryside ran for miles in all directions, but Sian’s favourite route took her to the very edge of the Terrell estate, and Carson House which sat in the centre of it. While it was closer to Ryan than she would have liked, Sian suspected that Ryan was already on his way to the house. He wasn’t likely to venture anywhere near the derelict church located at the bottom end of his property. Sian, however, did.
It was her most favourite place on earth, and the only place Sian could go to get away from the dull monotony that was life. While she was like any other young lady of means, and invariably spent her time reading and sewing like any well-bred young lady should, Sian also walked as often as possible. If she didn’t then she struggled to contain the urge to break free of all the restraints of her life so she could breathe and be herself for a while. Out here, with nobody for miles around, she could truly be who she was meant to be.
“If I am honest, there is nothing I can do at home without getting bored,” Sian whispered as she spied the derelict building standing like a ghost waiting to be found amidst the trees. “I need to walk and hope to feel better about everything by the time I get back.”
CHAPTER THREE
Sian spent an indeterminable night tossing and turning, and pretending she was able to think of something other than Ryan Terrell. At some point she gave up and flopped onto her side to stare blankly out at the encroaching thunderstorm. Her thoughts felt as tumultuous. She wished that she was able to rattle the beating drum like the clouds created thunder, and all her tension and worry would be resolved, but she knew it never would be.
“I know what is wrong, and I know there is nothing I can do about it,” she whispered, her voice choked with emotion.
She had been in love with Ryan for as long as she could remember. As a young girl she had taken one look at the local lord’s son and fallen hard. He had been bored, that much she could remember, but he had still sat patiently beside his father, who had come to the house to discuss business with hers. Sian had taken one look at that youthful visage of Ryan Terrell, and her entire world had changed forever.
