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CHAPTER ONE
ONE line equals negative. Two lines equal positive.
Two lines.
Leaning against the wall of her private bathroom, Dr Melissa Conner stared in disbelief at the plastic pregnancy kit in her shaking hand. Two lines.
There had to be a mistake.
She couldn’t be pregnant. Not really. Although she’d longed for a baby for as long as she could remember, she religiously took those little peach tablets meant to prevent little blue lines from multiplying. She hadn’t missed a single dose.
Fighting a joy she had no right to feel under the circumstances, she grabbed the instructions. Perhaps she’d remembered the directions wrong.
Two blue lines meant negative. For James’s sake, it had to.
The words remained the same.
She slid down the wall onto the cold tile floor with a soft thud. She’d foolishly thought stress had caused the three missed periods and frequent bathroom trips that prompted her to take a pregnancy test that morning. Deep down she’d known the truth, but had been in denial. She was going to have a baby.
James’s baby.
Her free hand went to her flat stomach. Dr James Stanley’s baby grew inside her. The thought thrilled her and scared her all at the same time.
Oh, God, what would he think? He’d stressed over and over how important her birth control was, how much he didn’t want children and never would.
From the time they had become involved, James had always been conscientious about contraceptive use. She hadn’t minded. She’d had no more of a desire to unintentionally become a parent than James. But she had dreamed of her and James eventually marrying, having babies and the whole nine yards.
He’d quickly burst that bubble. He didn’t want kids. Ever. Had explained in great, logical detail all the reasons why bringing a baby into the world would just be wrong.
Since being with James meant more than giving birth, she’d set her dreams aside and decided she’d be content to have a wonderful, caring man in her life. To distract herself from the growing longing inside her for the family she’d never had, she’d focused on another dream. Medicine.
James had continued to use a condom after they’d moved in together over a year and a half ago and had only stopped using the extra protection a few months back.
Maybe that decision had been premature.
Or the answer to her prayers that he’d change his mind about kids before her biological clock quit ticking.
“Melissa?” her nurse, Debbie, called through the bathroom door. “You feeling OK? You’ve been in there a while.”
Her grip on the white rectangular test kit tightened. She glanced at her watch. The hands barely read eight, but no doubt the lobby was filled with patients.
“I’m fine,” she called. “Just stretching my legs.”
Stretching her legs? In the bathroom? Couldn’t she have thought of something more believable? Her gaze dropped to the square window with the distinct blue lines, as in plural. No, perhaps she couldn’t have.
She leapt up and stuffed the test and the instructions into their box before sticking the entire kit inside the large black purse that doubled as her medical bag.
She’d deal with this later. She had patients waiting.
But, first, unable to resist, she placed her palm against her lower abdomen and smiled.
A baby. She was going to get a family after all.
Pasting on a professional mask, she opened the bathroom door and rushed past Debbie before her friend could ask questions.
Until she talked to James, she didn’t have answers for her own questions, much less someone else’s.
Later that morning Melissa stared out her office window at the sunshine glinting off the row of cars in the parking lot, giving everything a shiny gleam. In stark contrast to the beautiful day, her emotions were stormy.
The lump in Jamie Moss’s breast wasn’t merely a cyst, as hoped. The thirty-six-year-old brittle diabetic had invasive carcinoma of the left breast.
Knowing she’d delayed too long already, Melissa turned from the window and picked up the chart off her desk.
No more delays. She was a professional and would help Jamie get through the difficult days ahead. It was only because of her already intense emotional state that she wanted to leave the office rather than give the young woman her diagnosis.
The moment she stepped into the exam room, her eyes collided with the pretty blonde’s puffy ones and Melissa once again fought back tear
s.
Before she could speak, Jamie sniffled.
“I have cancer, don’t I?” asked the shaking woman. She’d struggled to keep it together since her husband had died unexpectedly the year before of a massive heart attack.
Melissa hadn’t particularly liked the man, but forty-three seemed too young to die. She dropped the chart onto the counter, sat on the stool, and took Jamie’s hand.
“I’m sorry, but the tests don’t look good. The radiologist says the mass I felt in your breast is cancer. I’ve talked with a surgeon, and he’s going to see you in the morning to discuss your options. I suspect he’ll recommend chemotherapy to shrink the tumor, and then he’ll do a mastectomy. That means he’ll remove your breast.”
Jamie’s arms crossed over her chest, protectively hugging her breasts.
“I can’t go tomorrow.” Tears streaming down her face, she shook her head in denial of much more than just the appointment date. “I don’t have anyone to watch the girls.”
Melissa ached at the weight of the burdens this woman carried. Jamie’s hands wrenched together. School wouldn’t start again for another two weeks and she had daughters aged five and thirteen. Rarely did a week go by that Melissa didn’t see either Jamie or her family. Over the years, she’d grown to think of the woman as much more than just a patient.
Last year, when Jamie’s husband had died, Melissa worried her depressed friend wouldn’t recover, but with help she had. Now this. Life could be so cruel.
“What about your sister? Could she go with you?” The advantage to working in a small rural practice was that she knew everything about everyone.
“She can’t take time off work. She missed so much with me after Roger died that she’s on probation. If she misses any more days, they’ll fire her.”
Melissa had no family. Until James she’d never felt connected to another person, like she belonged. If not for him, she’d be just as alone as Jamie, dealing with a totally different issue, but one just as life-changing.
What would she do if he really didn’t want their baby?
“I could put her on family medical leave,” Melissa offered, to keep from dwelling on her unwanted thoughts. Of course James would want their baby. Once he got used to the idea.
“I don’t think that will matter.” Jamie’s voice sounded hollow, defeated. “But I’ll let her know.”
“I’ll call Dr Arnold and tell him you may bring the girls with you.” She squeezed her hand, wishing she could somehow give Jamie the strength she needed to get through this. “Regardless,” she continued, “you need someone to go with you. You shouldn’t face this alone.”
“If my sister can’t go, there isn’t anyone,” Jamie reminded her.
