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“You smell like the woods,” my dad says, and he leans in for a hug. His hugs are pretty fucking close to bear-hugs. Rough, protective, and full of strength. I want to siphon off that last bit of strength from him. To get through this.
When we break apart, it’s hard not to look around at the guests that keep gawking at me. There are so many more people here than just my family. So many more people here than the mountains I left.
“Hey, Sul,” my dad says. “You don’t have to fucking stay here. If you want to leave—”
“I can stay.” For Jane, I should stay.
He nods slowly, his intense eyes zoning in on me for a second. His strong worry is like the waves of an ocean, crashing against me in rough swells. “You’ve had a long fucking day. Are you alright?”
Pressure compacts on my chest. Usually now would be the moment I’d gush to them about how it’s my fault Banks missed the wedding. How I’m in a Bachelorette scenario and the final rose is coming up. And I’m going to hurt Akara or Banks. How I free-soloed one measly rock face the whole trip and it feels like it wasn’t enough.
I want to tell them I survived a cougar attack with two people I’m falling in love with.
But I can’t say any of it. It feels too raw. Like if I touch it, the words will explode in my heart and shatter me apart.
In the end, I just nod to my dad and say, “I’m alright.” I shrug. “I’m running off Lightning Bolt! energy drinks and adrenaline, so just waiting for the crash.”
My parents share a look I can’t decipher. Have I been gone so long that I can’t even read their looks anymore? Or am I changing so much that this is a new look I’ve never seen before?
I can’t think too long.
My mom flicks my nose playfully. “I have a theory.” We share a smile.
Her theories are my favorite.
And very softly, she tells me, “When you crash someplace where you feel safe, you’ll wake up happy in the morning.”
I take a big breath. “I think I agree with that one.” I wipe a smudge of dirt off my cheek. “At least tonight, it sounds good to wake up in my own fucking bed for a change.”
Everyone is supposed to be staying overnight at some five-star hotel near the venue. A car service is even shuttling guests to the hotel in case they’re too hammered to drive.
My dad tells me, “Nona saved you a piece of vegan coffee cake at one of the tables. It’s not like the real fucking thing, so just beware.”
I smile.
Jane is so thoughtful to include a separate little vegan cake for guests. It’s even the same coffee flavor as her big wedding cake. I could go back to eating dairy—but I love how going vegan has excited my sister so much.
After a couple more hugs, we part ways. I find my sister again just as Jane gets ready to throw the bouquet. Chatting for a bit, we catch up about more than just Yellowstone, and I try the vegan cake.
Not sweet enough for me, but my stomach appreciates any food at the moment. I scarf down every bite during the bouquet toss.
The bundle of pastel flowers flies in the air and lands right into Audrey’s hands. Not anywhere near me. It doesn’t mean anything, Sulli.
Yeah.
It’s definitely not a sign that Akara and Banks are going to choose each other.
Not a sign at all.
I hate being superstitious, but I fixate on Jane’s thunderstruck little sister. She hugs the flowers to her chest with a swoony look.
I laugh and my little sister darts away, bouncing on her feet to congratulate her best friend.
Akara finds me by the round table near the dance floor as I lick cake crumbs off my fingers. His smile reaches his eyes as he lands by my side. “You can take the girl out of the wild. But you can’t take the wild out of the girl.”
I suck icing from my thumb and then slug him in the shoulder with my free hand.
He barely moves. “I rest my case.”
“Hey, it’s not good cake unless I’m licking each little crumb off.” I look him up and down, about to ask how things went with Michael Moretti, but his expression shifts to utter affection as he cradles my gaze. I slowly pull my thumb from my mouth, my pulse double-beating. “Kits…?”
We’re interrupted by an MC on the mic. “All those beautiful couples, come onto the dance floor. This is your slooooow jam.”
Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers begins to play, and I back up from the edge of the dance floor where Akara is in a frozen stance.
His eyes only rest on me.
