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Steed sat down next to me and reached for my hand. Pulling it from him, I turned to him. “Don’t touch me.”
His eyes were sad, but I didn’t care.
“Pax, please. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”
“You did this.”
The horror on his face should have made me regret my words, but I didn’t. I meant every single word I said.
“Please can we go somewhere and talk?”
“Talk about what, Steed? There’s nothing your words can say to make it better.”
He reached for my hand again, and this time I didn’t fight it. “Maybe I should leave for a few weeks.”
My head whipped as I stared at him. “What? Why?”
He looked at the ground. “You’re upset, and we both need time to wrap our heads around this.”
Standing, I glared at him. “You’re running. That’s what you’re doing. You piece of shit! You’re leaving me! Again! How could you do this?”
Steed stood. “Wait, Paxton, that’s not what I meant.”
I pushed him as hard as I could. “I hate you! I hate you so much right now. Leave! Go run and hide! I never want to see you again. And I swear to God the next time I see you if you even think of speaking to me I’ll cut your dick off and shove it down your damn throat!”
“Paxton, wait.”
He reached for me, and I screamed. I’d never seen Steed look so scared in my life. The way he jerked his hands away with a look of horror had me wanting to tell him I was sorry. But I didn’t. “I’d never hurt you, Paxton. Ever.”
“You’ve already hurt me more than you could ever know. Please…just leave me alone, Steed. Just leave.”
My eyes snapped open and I inhaled a quick breath. The memory of that day swirled in my head. Turning, I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of rum and a Diet Coke, and made myself a drink.
The drink hit my empty stomach, making me groan. My eyes closed.
I pushed him away. I was the one who told him to leave and never come back. I never in my wildest dreams thought he would take it to heart.
When I pulled up to Paxton’s house I couldn’t help but smile. It looked like a place she would fall in love with. Paxton had always talked about owning one of the older homes in the center of town. I’d bet anything she bought it and remodeled it, bringing it back to life from an old dull farmhouse.
Turning off the truck, I ran my hand through my hair and took in a deep breath. I’d waited ten years to have this conversation, and I couldn’t get my damn hands to stop shaking.
As I stepped onto the porch, I took a quick peek around. I chuckled when I saw the two black rocking chairs. All the times we had sat on my parents’ porch and talked about our future…I couldn’t look at a black rocking chair without thinking of Paxton.
My arms felt like lead as I stared at her door. I finally pressed the doorbell. Less than ten seconds later, the door opened.
The air from my lungs was gone in an instant. The most beautiful woman in the world stood in front of me. Paxton was wearing a light blue dress that hung from her body in all the right ways. My eyes lingered on her bare feet before I dragged them back up and smiled when I saw the braid coming around the side of her head.
“Hey,” I said barely above a whisper.
I couldn’t read her eyes, but it was like she could read mine. She didn’t say a word as she turned and walked into the house. Lifting my eyebrows, I followed her in and shut the door.
“Want a drink?” she called out as she made her way to the large open kitchen. I scanned the living room as I made my way through it.
“No thanks.”
She laughed. “Well, I’m having another.”
We stopped at a large island, and Paxton poured rum into a glass followed by Diet Coke. When she downed it, my mouth nearly dropped to the floor. “You okay?” I asked.
Her eyes snapped on mine, and she slowly shook her head. “No, Steed. I’m far from okay. I haven’t been okay since you walked away from me the night of graduation.”
I swallowed hard. “I was confused, Paxton. You were telling me you hated me. You told me to leave.”
“I did hate you, and I did want you to leave.”
A tear made its way down her cheek. “Some nights when I’m alone in bed, I hate you all over again.”
“Pumpkin, I’m so sorry.”
She laughed. “So sorry for what? That you left me to deal with the loss of our child? That you didn’t care enough to come back? Or maybe that you ended up knocking up another woman, but decided she was worth sticking around for?”
