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Chapter One
August
La Palma is absolutely beautiful.
As I walk through the streets, past gorgeous brightly painted houses and sweet little stores, I feel at home. But in a few days’ time, I’m heading home, and I’ll have to leave all of this behind, along with the one thing I actually came here for.
I feel so stupid.
As a student, a Spanish course abroad made total sense anyway to develop my Spanish speaking skills, but I didn’t come here to be a better student. Like an idiot, I came here chasing the man of my dreams.
No, I’m not talking about some beautiful Spanish man.
I was never hoping to just bump into a hot guy and for romance to bloom. No, I had a very specific man in mind when I traveled halfway across the world for several months.
Ethan…
I feel a jolt of lust go through my body as he comes to mind. He rarely ever leaves my mind, but when I think of him, it’s like the rest of the world disappears entirely. I can see him now, that handsome hunk of a man…
His intense brown eyes bore into me in my mind, dark hair streaked with hints of silver, his thick eyebrows making him look so serious and sexy. I know now he’s tanned from all his years living in Palma. He moved here around five years ago when I was still just a teenage girl, falling head over heels for a man I shouldn’t. After all, he is my dad’s best friend.
He’s also twice my age at forty-two.
I shouldn’t want him at all.
At twenty-one years old I should be chasing men my own age, looking for flings, not for the one. But I’ve never been interested in keeping things casual, especially not when it comes to Ethan. Since I last saw him when I was sixteen, I’ve been obsessed with him. Something clicked then. I just knew that I’d want him for the rest of my life. And ever since I fell for him, other men just haven’t been on my radar.
What’s the point in chasing dumb young boys when I could have an older, sexier, smarter man like Ethan?
I know that it’s crazy that I want him. I barely even know him.
Sure, he’s flitted in and out of my life since I was a kid, and sure, I spent a lot of time with him as a girl. But I’m a woman now, and I want to know him in other ways. More intimate ways. That changes the dynamic entirely, and I know it all too well.
I don’t know what possessed me to follow him to his home here on the island. I don’t know what I even expected. I guess I just hoped that we’d cross paths and the rest would go from there. That he’d fall madly in love with me the way I’ve fallen for him and risk everything to be with me. Risking his lifelong friendship with my father, his reputation as a businessman, risking the negative opinions of his peers…
Who am I kidding? Why would he do all of that for me?
He barely even knows me, and even if he did, he’d probably decide that I’m not worth all of that hassle. He could have any woman in the world, which is why it never ceases to surprise me that he’s never settled down.
According to my dad, he’s never even had a serious girlfriend in his life. How can a man as handsome, smart, and incredible as him still be left on the shelf as they say?
Maybe that’s why I can kid myself that I stand a chance with him.
I guess I hoped that it would be enough to make him want me, the fact that he’s in his forties and hasn’t found someone yet.
But if no beautiful woman of his own age has managed to convince him to settle down, then how would I have any more success?
I feel deflated as I head down to the beach. I always run these scenarios through my head, and they never end well. My fantasies are perfect in my head, but when I try to apply reality to them, I realize how little sense they make.
I might have come here hoping for something with him, but he’d probably laugh me off if I ever told him. And besides. I’ve been here for some months and I haven’t crossed paths with him once. This isn’t exactly a big island, either, but I guess it’s too big for the meet-cute I so desperately wanted. I really didn’t think this through.
But I guess I haven’t lost anything though. I got to spend a few months of my life on this beautiful island. I’ve sampled the food, drank the sangria, spent endless hours in the baking hot sun, and developed my Spanish speaking skills. I can hardly say I’ve wasted my time here. But it does feel disappointing knowing I’m going to go home without knowing what could’ve been. It’s disappointing to think that if there was ever a chance with him, that I’ve probably missed it. I’ll have to go home empty handed to my dad’s house and live with my secret for the rest of my life.
