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“I know you do.” I blinked and tears slid past my lashes. “And I love you. More than I ever thought possible.”
Emotion stole my words and I swallowed hard to fight back another wave of tears. I sucked in a ragged breath and started again. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and there is nothing I want more than to build a life with you. I can’t imagine my life without you, but—”
Jack dropped his eyes to the sand between us, that cursed word hanging suspended between us, for a long moment.
“But you have to be sure. I need you to be sure that this is what you really want. I’ve been divorced once and Jack…God, Jack, I can’t do that again. It would rip me into pieces and I’d never be able to stitch myself back together again. As much as I don’t want to lose you, I would rather leave it here and walk away with nothing but love and respect and sweet, precious memories between us. I don’t want to end up bitter and angry and I don’t want that for you either.”
Jack met my eyes and all the air left my lungs at the sight of the tears glistening on his cheeks. I searched his eyes, looking for any last shred of hope, but the pools looking back at me were dark and conflicted. Pain and sadness and confusion. With shaking fingers, I reached up and swiped away the tears on his cheeks even as fresh tears splashed down my own face. “I need you to be sure.”
Jack kissed me, slow and sad, every last remaining drop of emotion wrung out of us. He swiped his thumb over my cheek as he pulled away, wiping the hot tears away. The moment stretched on, each of us likely wishing we could make promises to change or that it would all turn all right, but no words came out. When his lips left mine, he rested his forehead against mine and nodded a sad, slow nod that tore my heart in two.
After a few more minutes, Jack pressed a kiss to the top of my head and then turned away, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his sweats as he shuffled up the sand back to the house.
As soon as he’d vanished from my sight, everything broke and the graceful tears I’d shed turned into ugly, loud sobs that were immediately swallowed up by the roar of the ocean.
15
Jack
There it was. All the proof I needed to know that the night before wasn’t a nightmare…
Holly’s diamond engagement ring on the kitchen island.
I circled the counter as if the ring was a poisonous viper. I couldn’t bring myself to reach for it. The plush, cushioned box from the jeweler was upstairs, sitting in her fancy jewelry box. I knew I should put it away to keep it safe. But still, I couldn’t. My hand wouldn’t move to pick it up.
The night before was a hazy dream. The edges of the memories we’d made were marred with shadows. When Hunter had barreled down the aisle at the pet store and she appeared half a second later, her hair wild, flying behind her, it was like the day we met all over again. I was still fresh off the conversation with Aaron and Gemma. I thought that running into her in such a happenstance way meant something. I had no idea it was the beginning of the end.
The real end.
I picked up the ring and turned it under the pendant lights over the counter. The diamond was nearly two carats, a brilliant round cut that sparkled like crazy. It was beautiful and fiery. Just like Holly. My stomach turned as I continued to stand there and stare at it.
I needed something. A drink. Something to shut down the ball of nerves churning in my stomach.
Princess rammed her head into my leg and I nearly crumpled to the floor. I couldn’t keep upright as the tears blurred my vision. “It’s all right, girl.”
She gave me a look that silently called me on my bullshit.
Nothing was all right and based on the way I was feeling, it wouldn’t be for a long time. After I’d found her on the beach, I’d looped the neighborhood a few times. It was like I couldn’t stop walking. Something about the motion soothed me, or at least took the edge off the burning feeling in my chest. When I eventually came back to the house, her car was gone, Hunter was gone, and her ring was on the counter.
With a heavy sigh, I took the ring upstairs and put it away with all of Holly’s other jewelry. I noticed she’d cleared out a few shelves and drawers but the closet still contained the majority of her clothing. At least I knew I’d get to see her when she came to collect the rest of her things. Maybe then I’d have some kind of clue of what to say to make things right.
