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‘Fools.’
Her mouth curved upwards. ‘I thought so. I would leave and move on. But old Polly never learnt. She always went out with successful men, businessmen, suits and chauffeured cars and busy schedules and she always, always failed. So why not try someone new? Someone different?’
That had always been Gabe’s philosophy. New, different, meaningless. It didn’t sound so pretty on her lips.
‘It makes sense.’ In a warped way it did. He understood exactly why she had thrown caution to the wind.
‘I had a list, of things I had never done, things most people did in their teens and early twenties. Swim naked, sleep under the stars.’ She flushed. ‘Have sex on a beach.’ She shook her head. ‘It sounds so childish.’
‘No, it doesn’t.’ Gabe knew what it was like to miss out on things. He hadn’t gone to teen parties, hadn’t experimented with girls or beer or flirted with danger. Instead he’d hovered on the brink of death, he’d fallen in love, he’d lost everything.
‘I’ve never done any of those things either,’ he confided, trying to push away the image of Polly, tall and willowy, tanned bare skin glowing in the moonlight.
‘It was supposed to mean nothing. Only now...’ Her voice trailed off. ‘I’ve messed up so badly. I finally have everything I always wanted but I don’t know what to do.’
‘You don’t have to figure it out tonight.’ Gabe was supposed to be keeping his distance, supposed to be the chauffeur, nothing more, but watching her tears spill out, hot and heavy, he couldn’t not act. Without thought he edged closer, pulled her in, wrapped his arms around her and allowed her body to settle along his.
She fitted like a glove, her head on his shoulder, her chest against his, hip against hip.
‘How could I mess up like this? I have never ever put a foot wrong. The one time I allow myself to just act, to not think and it explodes all over my dreams. I need to be a CEO, not a mother.’
‘Who says you can’t be both? When I was diagnosed I had so many plans. Plans to pull the hottest girl at school, to captain the rugby team. Plans to ace my exams. I had to rethink everything. In the end my plan was to live. And I did.’
‘And the other things?’ she asked softly.
‘I didn’t pull the hottest girl in school, but I fell in love with someone much better.’ Gabe tightened his grip and tried not to remember Marie crying in his arms. ‘I gave up rugby but took up marathons and triathlons—and I still aced my exams. Plans change, they adapt, you’ll be fine.’
‘How?’
Gabe sighed. It took time, adjustment, pain—but she wasn’t ready to hear that. Not yet. ‘We can figure it out tomorrow. It’s all going to be okay. I promise, it’s going to be okay.’
CHAPTER FIVE
IT WAS WARM, the mattress firm and comfortable but not quite as firm and comfortable as the bare chest she was nestled against. Polly sighed and rolled in a little closer, allowing her hand to slip round the firm midriff to trail along the smooth back.
Hang on. Skin? Muscle?
She snatched her hand back and rolled away, swallowing back the all too familiar nausea that hit her the moment she moved. And with it reality came crashing through the sleep fog, harsh, bitter. Terrifying.
She lay there trying to summon up enough strength to move, and doing her best to ignore the almost overwhelming temptation to move closer to Gabe, to put her arm back around him, snuggle in close and go back to sleep.
Getting into bed with strange men had got her into this situation. It looked as if she hadn’t learned anything!
Not that the two cases were at all the same. She was still fully dressed in the tracksuit she had thrown on last night.
She was still pregnant.
An ache began to throb, squeezing the side of her temples, the sticky soreness of her eyes an unwelcome reminder of the tears she had shed the night before. The weakness she had displayed.
Polly put her hand over her mouth, stifling the groan that threatened to escape. What had she done? She had cried. Cried in front of Gabriel Beaufils of all people. She had just handed him the keys to utter humiliation. How could she spin this situation as a positive thing when he could expose her any second? Tell everyone that she had messed up.
That she was fallible.
But would he? Heat burned her cheeks as she remembered his gentleness, his words, his confidences.
No, somehow Polly knew deep down that he wouldn’t expose her. But he would still know. Know that she wasn’t strong, that she had allowed herself to lean on him.
It couldn’t happen again.
‘Morning.’
Polly turned her head slowly. Gabe was propped up on one elbow facing her. His expression was warm, radiating concern. Concern that she didn’t need or want.
