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“I hated it.”
Persy rolled her violet eyes and groaned. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those women who shies away from confrontation?”
“Me?” I shook my head because that was the last thing anyone could accuse me of being. “Not even a little bit, but I hated that it was even necessary.” I’d been arguing with men from the moment I signed up for advanced placement biology in high school and it hadn’t stopped through college or med school, or my residency. Men were always there, ready to step in and tell the little lady how she was doing something wrong, even when she wasn’t. I seemed to be their favorite little lady to target so I’d grown a backbone of steel, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed it.
“You mean this isn’t just sexual tension?”
I smiled and shook my head. “it would be easier if that’s all it was.” I explained to Persy about Drew’s surgery and how he blocked me out of it. “From pre-op to post-up, to the write up, he did it on purpose. That type of surgery is exactly why I’m here and he doesn’t care. He’s perfectly happy to waste the next two years of my life, to stall my career and I can’t figure out why.” It couldn’t be as simple as he’s upset that he has to work with a woman he slept with. Right?
“Obviously he wants you and he’s furious that he can’t have you.” Persy spoke with an authority I admired, even if she was dead wrong.
“That’s not it.” I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I wanted to share the details of my past with Drew, but I needed perspective from someone who wasn’t his sister. “We had a night together. Nearly a year ago at this point, during a medical conference. Way before I even got the fellowship at JRMC.”
Persy nodded. “Now it all becomes clear.”
I blinked. “What? Does he have a reputation for being a jerk to women after he gets what he wants?” That wasn’t the impression I’d gotten of him, but Persy knew him in real life. I just knew the charming and funny guy with deep blue eyes and an easy smile, at least that’s who he was back then.
“No. Well I don’t know, really, because Drew doesn’t date. Not since Sarah died.”
“Sarah?”
“His wife. She was beautiful and bubbly, lively, and most of all, the woman craved adventure. She would go bungee jumping, sky diving, BASE jumping, swimming with sharks and pretty much any other activity meant for adrenaline junkies. They were so different in that way, but somehow it worked for them.”
I swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”
They had a trip booked to go helio-skiing together, but a motor vehicle accident came in and Drew got held up in surgery. It was a doozy, the guy was totally impaled. He coded a few times and it took all night until he was stable, delaying Drew’s departure. When he finally arrived, he got word of the avalanche that had trapped at least a dozen people under hundreds of pounds of snow. Three survived, but not Sarah.”
It was a sad story. Heartbreaking, even. I couldn’t imagine losing someone I loved so much in such a horrific way. My heart went out to Drew, but not enough to forgive him for his shitty behavior. “That’s too bad, but it really has nothing to do with me or how he’s treating me.”
“No,” Persy agreed with a slow nod. “But he’s probably got all kinds of widow guilt built up, and it’s eating him up. The sex part is difficult enough, but now he has to see you every day and he probably does like you, which increases the guilt and makes him act like an ass. It’s a vicious cycle, that kind of guilt.”
Maybe so, but again, that was his problem. Not mine. “For two years. He only has to put up with me for two years.” I could hear the whine in my voice and I hated it so much I shook with even more anger. “I’ll be gone as soon as my fellowship is over, if not sooner.” I knew I’d said too much when I was met with a pair of shocked violet eyes.
“You’re planning on leaving?”
I nodded even though I hadn’t decided on anything just yet. “It’s not a smart move, but I have to think about my future.” I reached out a few medical school friends to see if they knew of any fellowships still open this late in the game. “I can’t really leave, but I think staying would be worse for me.”
Persy sighed and put a hand on top of mine. “I’m sorry, Zola.”
I shrugged off her apology. I didn’t need or want anyone’s sympathy or pity. All I wanted was for Drew to act like a professional. “Don’t be. Spending time with Suzie and the twins, getting to know Granddaddy, you and Hannah and Gus, it’s all been a good experience. I’ve made a few friends and now that I have privileges here, I can at least keep my skills sharp for wherever I land next.”
