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“Are you sure you and Drew can’t work things out?”
“I am. There’s nothing to work out, Suzie. It was a casual sex arrangement and now it’s over.”
“But it’s not, is it? You’re pregnant.”
“Yes, I’m pregnant and I can be pregnant on my own anywhere. Drew’s made his feelings clear about me and my pregnancy, so again, there is nothing for us to work out.”
Suzie looked at me with big green eyes behind her white eyeglasses. “Where will you go if you leave?”
I shrugged. “Probably back to Alabama.” That was more or less my home, as much as anywhere was my home these days.
“Alabama! But that’s so far away, Zola.” Suzie’s stricken expression was almost comical, but it also felt nice to know that someone would miss me if and when I left town.
“It’s not that far. We’ll talk and video chat regularly, when that happens. I still have more than a year left on my fellowship.”
Suzie nodded in acknowledgment of my words and let out a sigh. “But you will leave Jackson’s Ridge when it’s over.” It wasn’t a question, thankfully, because I didn’t want to upset the woman who was like the sister I never had but always wanted. “What if Drew changes his mind?”
“He won’t.” All this time I thought we were forming a friendship and getting to know each other but Drew wasn’t. He’d been waiting for me to disappoint him, to behave as his other women had. He’d been comparing me to his dead wife and found me lacking.
“But what if he does? I know my brother and he can be quite impetuous when he’s feeling stubborn and trapped.”
I snorted and folded my arms, no longer in the mood to finish my breakfast. “I didn’t trap him into anything.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, Zola. He’s been holding himself back since Sarah died, refusing to date or even consider dating. The more I pushed, the more he kept to himself because he felt trapped. So, I stopped.” Suzie let out a thoughtful sigh, her lips curled into an affectionate smile. “It hasn’t worked, not until you.”
“We weren’t dating, Suzie and to be honest with you, I have no desire to date him.” I might have entertained the thought for a brief moment but his awful, hate filled words cured me of that idea very quickly. “Contrary to what he believes, I’m not angling to replace his perfect dead wife.”
“He’s wrong, you know. Sarah was great but she wasn’t perfect.”
“No kidding,” I snorted.
“They loved each other but they fought so much that I’m not sure if they truly liked each other. They were high school sweethearts in a small town and all the expectations that go with that.”
It was odd, hearing that Drew had been capable of loving another person, when he’d been so purposely cruel to me, but the truth was that I’d seen glimpses of that man over the weeks and months since I arrived in Jackson’s Ridge. He was capable, just not with me. “I don’t need an explanation, Suzie. He said what he said, he probably meant every word of it, and that’s the state of things.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you,” she practically growled at me. “He’s wrong and worse, he said those words to lash out. He said them to hurt you.”
“And that makes it worse, Suzie, not better.” He meant the words but he’d gone there because those cruel words were a guarantee that we couldn’t go back, couldn’t’ start over. “He wanted to hurt me enough to make sure there was no hope for the future. He succeeded.”
“Has he?” The question she posed came out on a sad, disappointed voice. “That’s a shame. He’s been a new man lately. Quick to smile and laugh, so doting with Gigi and Berna. You brought him back to life.”
And all I got for my efforts was a broken heart and single motherhood. “Maybe he was just ready to start living again, Suzie.”
“No,” she insisted. “It was you Zola. It was all you.” She smiled expectantly, as if she was waiting for an admission that I would never, ever make aloud. “Love does that to a person.”
“It’s not love and it never was. At best, I thought it was a friendship with a sex bonus but it wasn’t even that.” Men were like that, sometimes and I knew that. They said what they needed to get what they wanted and when things got too real or too close to the surface, they struck out. Hard. “It was my fault. Anyway,” I sighed, ready to end this conversation. “Thank you for checking on me, Suzie, but I’m fine.”
She nodded slowly, probably trying to find another argument to get me to stay in Jackson’s Ridge or forgive Drew, knowing Suzie it was probably both. “All right, I’ll give it a rest. I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you Zola if you ever want to talk.”
