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Faith had told him that she'd loved Ted.
He believed her.
Cole sat down at his desk and turned on the light. He reached for the briefcase he'd brought back from Liberty. It was still crammed with Ted's papers, nothing important, from the fast look he'd taken at the top two or three things. Still, the papers had to be gone through before he could dispose of them. He'd already turned up a couple of bills that needed to be paid.
Yeah, that would make the hours pass, he thought as he dumped the contents of the briefcase on his desk. Go through the papers, save the few that mattered, throw out the rest. Middle of the night thoughts could be bleak. Why waste time letting them prey on his mind? Yes, Faith had married Ted. And yes, she'd borne his child. So, okay. Imagining her in his brother's arms was lousy. Even thinking about her body, rounded and full with Ted's baby...
"Hell," he said into the silence. Enough of that. He began rifling through the papers.
It was dull stuff. A plumbing bill. An estimate for a new roof. A forgotten shopping list and a note from the gardener, suggesting he move the rosebushes. This detritus was all that remained of Ted. Bills, estimates, shopping lists...
What in hell was that? Cole reached into the wastebasket, plucked out a piece of paper he'd tossed in automatically, before his brain had fully registered the contents.
Teddy, my own...
Cole frowned. This wasn't Faith's handwriting.
Teddy, my own. I miss you terribly. I hate living like this, seeing you only once a month and sharing stolen moments... Cole's gaze dropped to the bottom of the page. Jessie, it
said, in a sinuous, feminine hand.
He stopped reading, looked up blindly and stared at the wall. Ted had spent one week a month in Atlanta, Jergen had said. He'd had a woman there.
So what?
Cole crumpled the note in his fist, tossed it into the basket and began rapidly thumbing through the papers. The past was dead, wasn't that what he'd told himself? He wasn't going to sit in judgment on Ted, or on a woman named Jessie...or on Faith, who'd said she'd loved his brother, that Jergen's accusations were a lie...
His breath caught. Another note, in the same handwriting and with that same signature. Don't read it, he told himself, dammit, don't.
It would have been easier to have told himself to stop breathing.
.. so happy. Everyone is entitled to happiness, Teddy, and I to love. I adore you and I know you feel the same way but here we are, kept apart by your damned determination to honor an obligation to a marriage that's always been a sham...
Cole's mouth hardened. He gave up all pretence of looking at receipts or anything else. Were there other notes from Jessie? He leaned over the stack of papers, went through them deliberately-and found more.
... ever occurred to you that she used you? I know you don't want to hear this, Teddy, because you feel responsible for the child, but I beg you to consider what I'm saying....
... doesn't share your life, doesn't want to know anything about the real person inside you. How can you exist that way? How can you live a lie?
Cole's eyes burned with unshed tears. Ted's secret life was spread before him, the emptiness of it, the lack of love. He didn't want to read any more, didn't want to know any more...
And then he found an envelope, already addressed in his brother's hand. It had never been sealed or mailed. Slowly, Cole withdrew a single sheet of paper and unfolded it.
... asked me if there's any affection between Faith and me. I know what you're thinking, Jess, that sometimes, even in a situation like ours, a man can be torn in two directions. I promise you, that's not the way it is. The truth is that I wish it were. How much simpler my life would be if your accusations were true. If Faith loved me. If she shared my bed. But she doesn't. Does it really matter how she got pregnant? She did, that's all. And I married her. I have an obligation to her, Jess. I will, until Peter is grown. I had to do the right thing....
The letter slipped from Cole's fingers. He buried his head in his hands. Ted, he thought, oh, Ted. Marrying a woman and not even knowing how she'd gotten herself pregnant. Doing it because it was the right thing to do. Loving her, wanting her to love him and knowing she didn't. Being kept out of her bed so that you eventually got so lonely you sought love elsewhere...
"Cole?"
Cole shot to his feet. His wife-his scheming, heartless wife-stood just inside the doorway. She was wearing something he'd bought her, a pale blue silk robe that hung open just enough to show the soft curves of her breasts, the flatness of her belly. Her hair hung to her shoulders in a mass of golden curls, her mouth was gently swollen from his kisses. She looked beautiful and as innocent as the day he'd first met her...
And he had to curl his hands into fists to keep from going to her and wrapping his fingers around her throat.
