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I hung my head, pressure pushing down on my chest as Charlotte gave me a hug and then rushed out the door. She was right. I had asked them to keep me focused on my job. And I’d not only snuck around behind Zane’s dad’s back, but theirs, too. I felt like the worst friend in the world.
Flinging myself into my bed, I searched for my phone through teary eyes. It was on the night stand, flashing a received message.
Zane: Hope your friends didn’t get mad at you.
Tonight was amazing.
Miss you already.
I sniffed back the tears. He really was the best. I sent him a kissing emoji and then opened the group chat I had with Beth and Charlotte. Time to attempt some damage control.
Me: I messed up.
I’m sorry for what I said.
But Zane really is a good guy.
Sorry I lied.
There was no immediate response, so I walked into the bathroom to get ready for bed. The whole time I brushed my teeth, emotions churned in my gut and unshed tears burned in my eyes. Everything was such a mess. I felt torn between the thrill of Zane’s kiss and the burning shame of facing my friends with my lies.
How could I fix any of this?
When I finally gave my bare face one last look in the mirror, reality hit me. Zane might have been the guy I knew him to be, but that still didn’t change the fact that one way or another, we couldn’t be together. Not for real. He had a contract and he was leaving. That was the end.
We’d gone way past friendship. There was no use denying it anymore. That kiss had sealed the deal. Was being with him for these few short days worth the damage I’d already done to my friendships and to my potential career? The mature part of me knew the answer to that, but the part of my soul still thrilling about that kiss argued the other way. There was no coming to any agreement. The only thing to do at this point was hope I hadn’t done permanent damage.
Still, I didn’t want to forget tonight and the progress that I’d made. Zane was the first person in a long time I’d trusted to see the real me. There was beauty in that, even if it wasn’t something I could hold onto forever. Tonight, I would linger in that beautiful feeling.
And tomorrow, I’d start the process of letting Zane go.
Chapter Eighteen
I nervously looked at my phone as I dropped my bags in my locker. It was a cold and bitter Thursday, especially for this time of year. The rain that our director had asked for yesterday came free of charge from the sky this morning, soaking through my lacy blouse in seconds and leaving me to curse the day I’d dared to make Beth mad. I’d walked to school early this morning to avoid her judgmental gaze in the rearview mirror, but given the current state of my hair, it might have been better just to swallow my pride and beg for a ride.
My phone buzzed and I looked down at it, swallowing my nerves.
Zane: I’m here.
Meet me in the classroom?
Shooting him back a confirmation, I headed toward the classroom that the school district had allowed the movie crew to take over for the semester. Luckily for us, it was currently unoccupied. It was the perfect place to meet for a serious conversation that neither of us wanted to have. I slipped through the door and sat on top of a desk, fidgeting as I waited for Zane to meet me.
I’d texted him early this morning, asking to meet before school started. The speech I had prepared rolled through my mind once again.
Zane—we had an amazing night. And that kiss? Easily top ten of all time. But we’re still risking too much. We have to rein it in.
We really have to be just friends.
Yeah, I hoped it didn’t sound as lame said aloud as it was in my head.
The door to the classroom slid open and I sat up straighter on the desk, wishing I’d done a makeup check before coming to the room. It was too late for all of that. Come running mascara or high water, Zane was here.
“Hey,” he said, sliding through the door and closing it shut behind him. He shot me a gut-warming grin and then claimed the space between us with a single step. “Good idea with this meet-up. I wasn’t sure I was going to last until this afternoon without seeing you. You look beautiful, by the way.”
I blinked up at him, at a loss for a reply. Zane had a way of sucking all the oxygen out of the room with his sweet words and the way his heated gaze swept over my face. He took my hand and stroking his fingers gently across my skin, placed a searing kiss on the back of my hand and then kept it held tight in his.
“Th-thank you,” I stuttered, unable to break his gaze.
