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“That’s not true, and you know it.”
One foot then the other, I put them on.
“It doesn’t matter.”
Despite her words, I was sure it did matter to her if I wasn’t ready to say something back to her.
“Do you really want to force me to say it?” I asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and twisting to look at her.
She had pulled the covers up, hiding her naked body from me.
“No,” she said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Sure…”
Not wanting to get into another argument with her, I put my shirt on and left her room. Jocelyn wasn’t around, so I walked out of the apartment before she returned.
*
Later that morning, as I walked on the field in my uniform, I saw Jocelyn talking to Coach. What the hell? I thought, walking over toward them. She noticed me and patted him on the arm before heading in my direction.
The closer she got, the more I wanted her out of my life. She would not drive a wedge between Brooke and me no matter what she did. A sick smile on her face, she passed by me without saying a word. I thought about confronting her, but I kept walking.
When I reached Coach, the look on his face let me know he was not happy, but that was normal for him. Had she said something to him? Only one way to find out.
“Hey, Coach. Who was that?”
“Don’t you worry about it,” he said, eyeing me closely. “Get to work!”
I put my helmet on and jogged out to the field for some practice with the running backs on our team. With each pass I threw, whether it was a completion or not, I kept thinking about Jocelyn, wondering what the hell she was up to.
Coach would not put up with any nonsense. Was a relationship with Brooke worth my entire football career? There were no laws or regulations against players dating, but Coach frowned on it, especially when he personally helped players like myself.
After twenty minutes, we switched to a quick scrimmage game. Trey and I still hadn’t talked to each other. Luckily, we were on the same team that day. I needed to talk to him and work things out, even if it meant dumping Brooke.
Would I be able to do that to her? Or myself? The fucking was nice, but I also loved hanging out with her. Throughout the rest of practice, my thoughts on the matter went back and forth, confusing the hell out of me.
TWENTY-ONE
Brooke
On the way home from class, I checked my phone again to make sure I hadn’t missed a message from Austin. Why hadn’t he tried to get ahold of me again? Had I made him mad? Was he done with me for real this time?
Doubts and self-doubt had cursed me since I was a little girl back in Indiana where I grew up. My fears were one of the reasons I had decided to go to college in New York, even if it was Buffalo not NYC.
Should I call him? Nah. His loss. A break might be good for us.
When I reached the front door of my apartment, I heard loud dance music coming from inside. Whenever Jocelyn played that techno-shit, it meant one thing, she was likely drinking.
I considered walking to the library to hang out for a while, but I didn’t like the idea of running from my own home, especially not because of someone like Jocelyn.
As soon as I opened the door and walked in, she jumped up from the couch and stumbled toward me. Here we go. I set my backpack down on the floor.
“Brooke!” she said, slurring the words.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
