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It broke my heart.
“When I’m married to Robyn, I want you to make a formal announcement. I won’t wait for heirs.”
“You know I want children.”
“We’ll make them. But I won’t wait.”
“You’re making a lot of demands, Calvin.”
“And you don’t have much of a choice but to grant them.”
The two men stared at each other. Nobody moved. I could scream.
His father laughed.
“All right then. I’ll grant all your wishes, but you’ll give me one thing in return.”
“You want more?” Calvin didn’t move though.
“You’ll marry Robyn here. You’ll marry her tomorrow.”
My mouth dropped open.
Calvin went still. He didn’t look at me, but I could tell he wanted to. I stared between them and so many thoughts flashed through my mind, a jumble of emotions—Calvin kissing me, Calvin pushing me down, gunshots, pain, screams, Noah’s hand wrapped around my throat, Calvin’s thigh between my legs—and I didn’t know what to do. I breathed fast to try to keep myself from losing it, but that only made it worse.
“I’ll arrange everything,” his father continued. “I’ll bring in a priest. I’ll act as your witness. I’ll arrange the paperwork. You don’t have to worry about wait periods or anything like that. I will make it all go away if you agree to marry this girl tomorrow morning.”
Calvin turned from his father and looked at me. “What do you say, Robyn?”
I opened my mouth and nothing came out.
What could I say?
If I said no, this would be over. Any chance of getting back at his brothers would evaporate. I’d go home to my sad, empty house with my sad, empty mother and I’d live my sad, empty life. Noah and Raymond would get away with hurting me, and worse, with hurting my mother.
But if I said yes, I’d be Calvin’s wife in the morning.
For real. Not fake, not for revenge.
But real, his actual wife.
It didn’t have to be forever. Even marriage wasn’t ironclad. I could divorce him—I could run away—I could do so many things—
And I knew that if I said the words and kissed him, then I’d be giving myself away, and nothing I tried would bring me back again.
It scared me more than anything.
But his father’s eyes ripped into my chest. Calvin’s expression was blank, but intent. I clenched my jaw, steeled myself, and nodded once.
“Yes, I will.”
“Good,” his father said, clapping his hands loud enough to make me jump. Calvin didn’t look away. “I’ll make the calls. You two should prepare yourselves.”
“Are you sure?” Calvin asked softly. “I know you wanted a real wedding.”
“This is fine.” I didn’t know why my voice was so quiet. Like I was whispering.
“She’s practically beaming,” his father said, sounding happy. “She’s glowing with excitement, and why not? She’s marrying into the Solar family. What a lucky girl.” He laughed again, head thrown back, and stood. “I have work to do, so go make eyes at each other somewhere else, you crazy kids.”
Calvin stood, never looking away. He took my hand and pulled me from the room, and didn’t stop until we reached the safety of our suite. He shut the door, locked it, and faced me as I walked to the windows and looked outside.
I could run away. Jump out, scale the wall, hit the grass, and keep on going. I could lose myself in the wilderness. Live with the wolves and the bears. Become a hermit in a cave. I didn’t have to marry him.
“You don’t have to marry me,” he said.
The perfect words.
“Yes, I do. It won’t be forever. It won’t really matter.” I didn’t look at him. I stared at the trees. “If I do this, you’ll make sure your brothers suffer. And you’ll do the thing you first promised.”
“Kill your father.” His whisper was so close. I didn’t hear him approach. I shivered and closed my eyes as he touched my arms and squeezed my shoulders.
“Kill him. Make sure he never leaves that prison. I want him to suffer, too.”
“I’ll do it for you, love.” He kissed my neck. I almost moaned. Almost.
Then he was gone. I looked back, but the room was empty. I hadn’t heard him leave. I felt dizzy, drunk with confusion, and I collapsed onto a chair, curling up into myself.
I was getting married in the morning.
And I didn’t even have a dress.
17
Robyn
I lasted an hour before I had to leave. Calvin never returned, and the room felt too hot, too oppressive. I stepped into the hallway, looking around wildly.
Matthias stood next to the door, looking at his phone. He glanced up, frowning.
“Took you long enough.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Watching over you.”
“Making sure I don’t run?”
He slipped his phone away. “Is that what you’re doing now?”
I turned and began down the hall. I had no clue where I was going. Matthias fell into step behind me, like a shadow. I stopped, looked back, glared, and walked again.
