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“She’s changed—suddenly—and she’s been talking a lot about the past and what she did to you. I’ve always blamed you for what happened to her. I needed someone to blame and you were the easiest. I knew what she was like and when she wanted something, she’d do anything to get it. She was very manipulative with our parents, and me.” He sighs, and continues, “I owe you an apology for how I’ve treated you over the years. She’s my sister, and no matter how bitchy she used to be, I still love her. I’m sorry for my part in all of this.”
Momentarily stunned, I ignore his outstretched hand, but as he goes to pull back, I grab hold and shake.
While his apology is running back and forth in my head, I respond, “I never expected that, but I accept it.”
Why now?
Everything is just too weird on this visit. He hardly ever speaks to me and when he does his words are clipped, and heaven forbid if the word divorce is ever mentioned.
“Go ahead,” he indicates the door leading to Brittany’s room. “She’s staying in bed today, but was awake a few minutes ago.”
With reluctance, I nod at Evan and make my way to the back of the house, wondering if Brittany is about to surprise the hell out of me like her brother.
But as I open her bedroom door, the smell of sickness hits me.
Her room is pale pink and white with all her belongings hiding behind closed closet doors. There is a large desk in the room, which is usually scattered with papers and pencils; occasionally her laptop would be open on the desk as well. The room has more of a sterile feel to it than it ever has before.
As my eyes turn toward the bed, I meet Brittany’s gaze. She’s buried under a thick quilt with a chunky crocheted blanket on it as the top layer. Her blond hair is brushed, and spread out on her pillow like a halo. I stare at her for a moment, my eyes taking in that beautiful hair and her angelic features. Despite everything, she is . . . was a beautiful woman that men noticed. Today, she does nothing for me.
“You coming in . . . there’s a draft.”
“Sorry.” I shut the door behind me but can’t get my feet to move forward.
When I’m here for her birthday, I don’t have so much trouble walking into her room, but since she’s been out of the hospital, today is the first day she’s appeared sick.
I don’t handle being around sickness well, and all I want to do is open the doors and walk away.
My feelings for Brittany have always been one of hate, but seeing her like she is now causes guilt to creep in.
“Your brother said you have a cold.” I move closer and finally drop down into the chair beside the bed. “Is that all it is?”
“Why? You’re making me feel like you care.”
I press my finger and thumb on the bridge of my nose. Today is not a good day. Despite her beauty, her personality is filled with anger and bitterness . . . but I can’
t bring myself to blame her; who knows how I would react to the same sentence on my body. “I don’t want to argue with you. I came to do something that I should have done years ago.”
She continues to stare at me . . . waiting.
“I can’t do this anymore, Brittany. We should have never gotten married in the first place, and you know that.”
“I thought you’d start to care for me with us living together.” She looks out through the window and into the garden beyond, lost in a world of her own. “It didn’t turn out that way,” she whispers. “We both lost our lives that day.”
Sitting, watching her reaction to my words, I can’t help waiting for her to start bitching because this Brittany—quiet and subdued—isn’t what I’m used to.
“Seriously, what did the doctor say?” It’s more than a cold.
“It’s just the start of a cold,” she turns back to me. “He’s going to keep a check on me. Because I’m laid up, he’s worried about it going to my lungs.” She laughs. “They’re always worried about something . . . sometimes I wish I hadn’t woken up.” She sighs.
What the fuck do I say to that?
Back then, I’d had those exact thoughts . . .
“You know, I never expected you to stay married to me. Every birthday that you’d visit, I expected you to tell me it would be the last. Even though you’d hardly talk to me, I looked forward to seeing you. It was a change to my mundane life.” She starts picking at the blanket. “My family has been amazing and they’ve always made sure I had everything that I needed, but I missed seeing you.”
She chuckles at the startled look I’m unable to hide.
“I remember the first time I saw you in full uniform. You were so handsome and I knew that I wanted to be married to you.” Her eyes cloud over with sadness. “You weren’t ready to settle down, and I did the unthinkable . . . After all these years, I owe you an apology.”
