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“Madison?” Derek says, sounding confused. “You don’t need to rush off. What’s going on? Come back to bed, it’s still early.”
My eyes dance toward him before I head toward the door where I pause, unsure. “You said we could only have one night.” I deeply inhale hoping my tears don’t fall until I enter the privacy of my own room. “It’s morning now.” Before I fling myself back into his arms and beg for a lot more, I flee.
I hear my name hissed as his door closes and I only just make it behind mine before the tears fall. My body aches from the night we’ve shared, and I can still feel him inside of me. He was so big and hard every time that I’ll probably feel him for a week. My heart has always been smitten with him, and at the back of my mind, I’d hoped that he would realize, his was too.
40
Derek
The scolding hot water that pounds down my back in the shower does nothing to make me feel any better. It’s a form of punishment, but I’m not sure anything other than telling Madison how much I love her can fix this.
At this point in my life I should know better, and I thought I did, which is why I’ve stayed away from anything with her for so long.
What happened had been inevitable though. I see that now. But what should I do now? Say fuck it and tell her she belongs with me for the rest of our lives, or let her go and watch her spend the rest of her life with someone else?
Slamming my hand down hard on the off button, the water comes to an abrupt halt. I grab a towel and after drying off I head back into the bedroom, my eyes lingering on the bed, and the covers in disarray.
My eyes see Madison naked with her head thrown back as I show her with my body how much I love her. She’d given me everything last night, just like I gave her. I hadn’t kept anything back and I tried to show her instead of using words, how much she means to me.
In the end I’d been a bastard and let her think I’d taken what I wanted, and now it was over.
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I don’t know what I was thinking when I’d told her I could only offer her one night because even as those words had left my mouth, I’d known I wanted so much more.
Fully dressed, I drop my ass to the end of the bed and shove my face in my hands, and that’s where I am when Tanner knocks, and enters once I give him the okay.
The door closes, and I lift my head to find my son staring at me. His gaze makes me uncomfortable or it could just be the guilt.
Sighing, I ask, “Everything okay?”
“I don’t know,” he replies, running his fingers though his hair, “I was hoping you’d tell me.”
“I don’t—”
“Don’t say anything if you’re not going to tell me the truth.”
I snap my mouth closed and after a moment, I move toward him, and change the subject, “Let’s go and have breakfast.”
Tanner pauses and follows me through the door, placing a hand on my arm. “Dee is downstairs.” He smiles. “I’m glad you have company.”
Not meeting his gaze, I watch my son make his way downstairs while I follow at a slower pace. I certainly hadn’t missed what he didn’t say.
It takes a few minutes to get comfortable in my own kitchen after I’ve poured a large mug of coffee.
Tanner pulls his wife onto his lap, Dee perks up as I sit at the kitchen table and I take note of Madison’s absence.
Placing the cup on the table, I dip my chin staring into it, my head and heart at war with each other.
My head is telling me to date someone my own age, but my heart has already chosen.
I lift my gaze and watch the way Tanner and Charlotte interact with each other, and I want that. I want that affection, and I want it with the woman upstairs.
Tanner is my son and deep in my heart, I know he will eventually come around, and accept the decision I am about to make.
Then there is the problem of Dee. It’s my own fault, leading her on to this point. Although in my own defense I did tell her at the beginning that I was looking for friendship and nothing more. I should have been even clearer, because she certainly was anticipating more.
Knowing Madison is upstairs and probably upset, I can’t wait another moment.
