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Walking out into the living room, I felt my stomach twist into a bundle of nerves. Andy had never seen me in anything other than a pair of jeans. I wasn’t even sure he knew I was a girl. My heart leapt to my throat as he turned around.
His eyes widened as he saw me, his mouth falling open. I blushed at his reaction, secretly pleased that he obviously liked what he saw.
“Wow,” he muttered, walking over to me. “Is that you? Holy shit, Em. You look beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, my face red. Deb and Karl stood by the door. She winked at me as we left and I smiled my thanks to her. As we walked out to his car, he took my hand. His fingers weaved between mine, and tingles shot down my spine.
Over the last few weeks, we had been getting closer. I’d convinced myself it was all in my head, that he couldn’t possibly see me as anything other than a friend, but the way he was looking at me right now? I wasn’t so sure . . .
“We’re here,” he said, turning off the car. He made no move toward the door; instead, he turned to face me. My heart began to race as he smiled, his lips pressing together. He looked like he wanted to say something. “Do you want to skip the dance?” he asked, his voice soft. Color flushed through his cheeks as he waited for me to respond.
“And do what?” I asked. My gaze dropped. I wasn’t sure why I felt so shy all of a sudden.
“We could have dinner. Or go to the beach. Whatever you want,” he said.
“Let’s go to the beach,” I decided. The way I was feeling right then, food was the last thing on my mind. Satisfied with my decision, Andy start the car and drove away.
We walked along the edge of the water. My shoes dangled freely from my fingers as the waves crashed gently over my toes. Neither of us had spoken since we left the car. I had no idea what he was thinking until he reached for my hand again, his fingers brushing gently over mine.
“Did I mention you look beautiful tonight?”
He stopped, pulling me up against him. I stared into his dark eyes and smiled. Was this really happening? He reached up, his finger brushing aside a stray curl, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I’ve wanted to do this forever, Em.”
“Do what?” I whispered as his lips moved toward me. His hand caressed my chin as he pressed his mouth against mine. My world stopped as he kissed me.
My first kiss.
Seventeen, and my first kiss, and it was with Andy, the boy who had been my rock for the past few years. It was perfect. He pulled away and smiled at me as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“This is much better than the dance.” I giggled. Leaning forward, I pushed my lips against his. He moaned softly as my fingers raked through his thick, curly hair.
“God, Em,” he muttered. “I’ve wanted this for so long. I’ve wanted you . . . but I didn’t think there was a chance. I didn’t want to risk our friendship.” Hearing him say that made me shiver.
“You should have said something.” I giggled. “Because this . . .” I kissed him again. “. . . could’ve been happening so much sooner.”
We spent the next three hours sitting on the beach, exploring each other. It was surreal. I’d known him for so long, yet at that moment I realized there was so much about him I didn’t know; so much I wanted to know.
Finally, things were coming together. The universe was on my side for once.
I closed the notebook and kicked off my shoes, crossing my legs up under me. The sand was wet, but I barely noticed. How could such a special memory precede one of the worst moments of my life? Because it was just two weeks later that he was first diagnosed and my world fell apart for the second time.
“Em?”
I stiffened as I looked up and saw Seth approaching. Anger bubbled inside me as I jumped to my feet, my hands balled into tight fists at my side.
“How could you?” I yelled.
“What’s wrong? What’s happened?” he asked, his expression bewildered.
“Andy told me you’re in love with me. Tell me he’s lying, Seth. Tell me you wouldn’t keep something like that from me.”
He dropped his gaze and my heart sank. He couldn’t even deny it. I wanted him to laugh, to tell me that was ridiculous. I wanted him to reassure me that nothing was going to change, because him being in love with me changed everything.
“I can’t believe this,” I mumbled, my hands flying to my head.
“Em—”
