AllFreeNovel
Share Us
After the service, we gather in the church hall. Person after person comes over to console me, when all I want is to be left alone. Sensing my discomfort, Ellie puts her arm around me and kisses my cheek. I smile, so glad she’s here with me.
“You’re doing great,” she says, her voice soothing. “It’s nearly over, okay? You’re doing so well.”
“Am I? I feel…” I sigh. I can’t even put into words the emotions swirling through me at the moment. After three years I’m finally allowed to grieve, only I don’t know how.
Or maybe the problem is I grieved for Aiden a long time ago.
Heather walks towards us, and protectively, I wrap my arm around Tilly’s shoulder, half expecting her to have a go at me for not speaking at the service. How much have things changed in the past few days? I’m nervous to find out.
“Kiara,” She begins, her eyes full of sadness. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
Taking a step toward her, I do something I never thought I would. I embrace her. She stiffens, and then relaxes into my arms, sobbing. “I’m so sorry, Kiara. For everything. I’ve lost Aiden, I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you and Tilly too.”
“You haven’t lost us, Heather,” I say, my voice quiet. She pulls away, her eyes meeting mine. “I’m not going to make things hard for you. Believe it or not, I want Tilly and I to have a relationship with you. All I’ve ever wanted is what’s best for her, and I know that’s all you’ve wanted too.”
“I shouldn’t have taken him out of the hospital. If only I’d listened to you, he might still be here,” she whispers. I examine the dark circles under her eyes. She probably hasn’t slept in days either.
“You can’t blame yourself, Heather,” I say, my eyes locking with hers. “We lost Aide
n a long time ago, it just took his body a little while to catch up. None of this is your fault.”
She smiles, but I can see she’s not convinced.
“I had better go and mingle. You better get this little tiger home to sleep.” She lovingly strokes Tilly’s cheek, who smiles up at her in return. “It’s been a big day for everyone.”
“Are you ready to go, Tilly?” I ask, scooping her into my arms. She nods, nestling her head into the crook of my neck. I kiss Ellie and Grant goodbye and carry my baby out to the car.
“Is Daddy happy?” She asks as I secure her in her seat, her eyes so droopy she can barely keep awake. I crouch down beside her and smile, clasping my hand in hers.
“He is, Honey. If you ever want to speak to him, all you have to do is close your eyes really tight and concentrate. He’ll hear you, okay?” She nods, the dark circles under her eyes obvious. “Come on. Lets get you home.”
***
As I close Tilly’s bedroom door, the doorbell sounds. I wince, praying to God it didn’t wake her up. I’m torn between standing there for a moment until I’m sure she’s asleep and answering the door, but the threat of whoever it is ringing the bell again wins out.
Quickly, I jog to the front door and open it. Max stands there, leaning against the doorframe. He straightens up when he sees me.
“Hey,” he begins, sounding nervous. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me tonight. I can come back when you’re ready—”
“No, it’s fine, come in.” I say, happy to see him. I stand aside as he moves past me. “I just got Tilly to sleep.”
“Shit, I should’ve called instead of ringing the doorbell,” he curses.
“She’s out like a light. Trust me, it’s fine,” I grin. I run my hand through my hair and yawn. “Big day for both of us.”
“I was thinking of you all day. I wanted you to know I was there for you, but I didn’t want to get in your way,” he asks, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. He leans in and I close my eyes as our lips meet in soft, gentle kiss.
I shrug and move into the kitchen, where I pull a bottle of soda out of the fridge. I hold it up and he nods, so I pour it into two glasses, sliding one across the counter to him.
“I’m doing okay.” And I mean it. For the first time in days, I can see things clearly. I feel bad for how I felt toward him earlier when all he’s done is be there for me. I’m done looking back. From now on, I’m only going to look forward.
“If you need time, that’s okay,” Max assures me. “Whatever you need, Kiara. If you want space, then that’s fine too. I can’t imagine what you’re going through…” His eyes darken as they focus on mine. He really would do anything for me.
Taking a deep breath, I move toward him, taking his hand in mine. “I lost Aiden a long time ago, Max. I’ve had time.” I breathe in as he wraps his arms around my waist. “I’ll always love him, but I need to move on. I need to move on with you.”
“That’s all I want too,” he whispers, lifting my lips to his.
Chapter Twenty-Five
