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Before Erin, I didn’t understand loss. Finding her, even for the short time I knew her, turned my life around. What she taught me most of all was that you should cherish what you have and live your dreams now, because you never know when they’re going to be taken from you.
I didn’t lose Erin. I found her, and every day I’ll remember how lucky I was to find someone like her to fall in love with. So many people never get to experience that, but I did for a few wonderful weeks.
Our story has a happy ending, because it began in the first place.
Epilogue
Cade
Three years later
I knock on the door before walking inside. It feels like forever since I’ve been home, and I guess it has been. It’s been nearly four years since I was last in this house. I push the screen door open and walk down the hallway towards the kitchen, where I can hear my mother banging away. She curses loudly and the stench of smoke wafts past me. I smile. She never was a great cook.
“Hey Mum.” I poke my head around the corner.
She looks up, her eyes widening like she can’t believe it’s me. She drops the whisk she’s holding and rushes towards me.
“You’re home,” she whispers, tears rolling down her cheeks. She looks older, her dark brown hair now peppered with grey. “It’s so good to see you, Cade.” She throws her arms around me, hugging me so tight that I wonder if she’s going to let go.
I close my eyes.
It feels good to be hugged, because it hasn’t happened in so long.
“When you didn’t come home for her funeral…” She shakes her head, her eyes teary. “I’ve been so worried about you, Cade. I had no idea how you were coping.”
“I told you I was okay, Mum.” I smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t come back earlier, just with university and work…” My voice trails off. We both know I could’ve made time if I wanted to.
“Come in here.” Mum leads me into the living room, ushering me to sit down. I do, and she sits next to me, her hands not leaving mine.
Since Erin died, things between my parents and I have been strained, to say the least. I’ve kept in contact with them, but mostly through weekly emails, letting them know I was okay. It took a long time for me to be able to face my many problems, and I couldn’t risk the issues I have with my parents setting me back. I was determined to succeed and be someone that Erin would’ve been proud of—someone that I could be proud of. It’s taken a long time, but I think I’m finally there.
“I’m so sorry, Cade. All I ever wanted was to help you. I didn’t mean for you to fall in love with her.”
“Don’t be sorry for that,” I mumble. She thinks Erin is the reason I haven’t been home. “She was an amazing girl that I was lucky to have in my life at all. I’m fine, Mum. You don’t need to worry, okay?”
“How long are you back for?” she asks. “Maybe your father can find you a job at the hospital—”
“I’m not back for long,” I say, cutting her off. “I’m starting my residency in Switzerland next month. It’s two years, but I hope it turns into more.”
“Switzerland?” Mum says. I see the hope fade in her eyes and feel guilty.
“You can visit me as much as you want,” I say with a smile. “And I promise I will come home more now that my studies are done.”
I take a deep breath, remembering why I’m here. To fix our relationship. The only way this is going to work is if we are open and honest with each other about everything. This is the first time I’ve felt strong enough to bring this up.
“I need to speak with you about something.” I pull my hand away and rub my face. Shit, this is hard. Who would’ve thought your mother’s infidelity would be a difficult topic to bring up?
“What is it?” Her face tenses and I know her first thought is gambling.
The truth is, I haven’t touched a bet since that night in Paris, and I haven’t wanted to. Maybe that’s why I went searching for extreme adventures, to give me the high I was chasing without breaking one of Erin’s wishes. Every time I felt like I was falling apart—and it happened a lot—I’d pull out her letter, her words becoming my addiction.
“It’s about you,” I begin. “And my father.”
Her face pales, a stark contrast to her wide, dark eyes. Her reaction surprises me, because even though it’s never been brought up, I’m shocked he didn’t tell her that I knew. I push myself to continue.
“When I was fourteen, I found a stack of letters in the back of your wardrobe.” I’d been looking for my birthday present, but I found more than I ever wanted to. At the very least, it stopped me from ever snooping again. “They were a series of letters between you and my father. My real father.”
Mum weeps softly. She can’t even look at me.
