AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Zars,
I know you’re mad at me. I wish I could tell you everything. All I can tell you is I thought he made me happy. He didn’t want our baby. Threatened me to get rid of it. It’s too much. I love you. Always have, always will. Don’t stay mad for too long. I’ll see you on the other side.
Kar
The only reason I know it was him who knocked her up…she’d told me a few weeks before that she was seeing a new guy. Of course, being her best friend, I’d wanted to know all about him. She’d hesitated, unsure if she should tell me, and after she had, I’d known why she wouldn’t want anyone knowing. It was her lit professor. Karly was dating a teacher. Thinking back to previous conversations, she’d mentioned that she had made a friend out of Mr. Bain. They had gotten close. A little too close.
At first when I was trying to put together why any teacher would do this, I couldn’t figure it out. Weren’t teachers there to help and aid, not destroy their students? But the more I thought about it, the more I let it stew—it clicked. If he had been having an affair with Karly, his student, and she had told me they had been, of course he’d freak out and threaten her if she didn’t get rid of the evidence. He’d lose everything if it came out. And what better proof than a student holding an infant that’s obviously his? Two and two always equals four, no matter which way you look at it.
I never shared the letter that Karly sent to me. Call it selfish if you want, but it was something that was meant for me and only me. If she wanted everyone to know, she would have sent them a letter as well. I wanted to keep this last little memento of her as only mine. The police would have taken it, her mom would have wanted it, and I wanted to help, but it wasn’t like Noah hung her on that rope himself. Legally, nothing would have happened to him. The affair would have been his word against hers, and since she was dead, it was just his, and he would have lied to cover his own ass.
Over the following weeks I withdrew from everyone—even Dillon. Not that it mattered. He was so awkward around me, like he didn’t know how to act since my cousin had offed herself. That’s harsh, because she was his friend, too, but I felt abandoned by everyone. I still do. Everyone seems to have moved on from losing her, except me. How can I move on when the person responsible is still out there, behaving as though nothing has happened?
That’s not fucking fair. It’s my job to give her death meaning—to make it right. I don’t even know if that makes any sense to anyone else but me, but it’s what keeps me going and what fuels my fire to continue with this plan. After all, she’d do the same if it were me.
After a hot shower and a glass of the vodka Dillon kept hidden in the back of the freezer, I reach into my backpack and take out the phone bill I swiped from Noah’s man purse. Not only do I now have his address, I also have his cell number. A devious smile spreads across my face as I reach for my phone. He can’t avoid me forever.
Me: Do you ever feel so lonely you wonder if it’s all worth it? I’m sorry, Mr. Bain. I shouldn’t be bothering you at home.
If that doesn’t get his attention, then I don’t know what will.
Sure enough, my phone rings almost immediately. I take a deep breath and pick it up.
“Hello.” I answer, my voice a little deeper than usual. I’d read in a magazine once that guys like that bedroom voice or whatever it’s called. Figure now’s as good of a time as any to test that Cosmo theory.
“Zara?” He sounds surprised.
“I’m so sor
ry. I shouldn’t have texted you,” I mumble, feigning embarrassment. I lay back on the sofa and smile.
“It’s fine. Are you okay? Are you hurt?” His concern sounds genuine, but then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. Karly was a great judge of character, and for her to get sucked into his web of deceit, he had to have played a good game. I’m sure he wasn’t counting on me being the better player.
“I’m fine. I’m just missing my family, I think. It’s hard being so far away from them.”
“I understand.” He pauses. “Where is your boyfriend?”
I laugh. “Out. Probably hooking up with some random. But I’m sure he’ll stumble home after he fucks her.” Not a total lie, but still not the truth. From what Dillon told me about his plans for tonight, he’d be at the frat house for a party. He’s never invited me. I always assumed it was because he had some sorority bitch there he was more interested in screwing. Not that I’m upset, but maybe I wanted to go to a party, too. Oh, well, I wouldn’t be very good company tonight, plus I have some extracurricular work to attend to.
Noah’s silent on the other end of the line. Probably trying to figure out how to digest the information I just gave him about Dillon and his skanks.
“So, you mean to tell me that he cheats on you? And not just that, you know about it? Why the hell are you with him? He sounds like an ass.”
“Are professors allowed to say ass?” I joke, wanting to change the subject. We should be focusing on him finding me attractive enough to risk everything for, and not him pitying me. Although I can’t rule out a pity lay just yet.
“I’m asking as your friend,” he replies. Pfft, I think to myself, but almost let slip…Friend. My. Ass.
“I don’t have any friends,” I mumble. I’m letting him get too close. I’m having to constantly remind myself to stay in the game. I might be young, but I already know that if you open the door too wide, even the people you don’t want in can sneak through.
“I’m your friend,” he says, trying to convince me.
“Mr. Bain, that’s nice of you to say, but I know you’re only saying it because it’s your job. I know where we stand. Thanks for the sentiment, though. It made me feel a little less alone.”
“I’m serious, Zara. I can be your friend and your teacher.”
I hold back a snort. Does he even realize how bad that sounds? “I don’t even know what friends do, it’s been so long since I had one.” As the thoughts of Karly creep to the forefront of my memories, I shove them back down. Granted, she’s the reason I’m pursuing this in the first place; I need to foster the anger and push aside the sadness. It’s the only way I can make this work.
“We’ll start off easy,” he jokes. “What are you reading?”
