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“The best for whom? You can’t even look at me. I’m freak to you and your perfect image.” I shouted back.
“Judith, that’s not true, we just think you’d do better with us, at home.”
“You mean away from the public, shut away instead of out and on my own. Hiding me won’t get you elected as the new school chancellor, Mother, but I guess it will make you feel better.” My parents left Texas after that checking in on me with a weekly phone call and plenty of guilt money in my account. Mom got a new school to run and dad a new law partnership on the east coast like they wanted. They escaped the prying, pitying eyes and got their fresh start.
“Three years and that’s all I get? A fucking sometimes?” Anger ripped through my chest worse than being violated at the club by some crazy Dom. I’m not sure what comes over me except time and space seemed to collide at hyper speed. I wondered how he could behave one way and then leave me for months on end leaving me to flutter in the wind in a tailspin.
“I’ll take you to Lake Huron so you can experience it, first hand.”
“Right, because I’ll never actually see it.” He grunted and I know I’m being a brat, but sometimes you just have to have the tantrum you didn’t get to have over your shitty life to begin with.
“You can feel the wind and smell the pine trees against the water. The sand is peppered with pinecones. It’s the best before the first snow falls.” He touched my cheek with his hand and a tear leaked, shaming me finally.
“So I can be fucking Pocahontas?” I said.
He chuckles which sounds uncomfortable than anything. “Ever the pessimist, Jude.”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“Jude–”
“No. You don’t get to Jude me. I want to know why you’ve been coming to me like this and then leaving me…with unfinished business.” I lamely retorted.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about it,” he says and my frustration boiled over.
“Well, would you like to rub me to a near orgasm and leave me panting in frustration again? I’m waiting with bated breath.” Defensively, I crossed my arms over my chest. Enough was enough. Batman would have been less complicated than Lorand Duvall.
“Ouch. I’m going to assume you’re distraught and overly emotional by the evening’s events. I doubt this is really about sex right now and more about how I’ve treated you the last few years.” His voice harden, too bad, I wasn’t putting up with his crap anymore.
“You don’t get to dismiss me, Lorand Duvall. I dismiss you and I’m done being played.” Shaking with anger, I turned and walked into my own wall, overcome from the evening’s events forgetting where things are in my own home. “Shit.” I covered my bruised face, my nose literally feeling bent out of joint and flushed with embarrassment. That’s what you get for spiting yourself.
“Easy, Jude. Let’s get you settled and I’ll answer your questions.” Annoyed, I sulked, letting him guide me to me bedroom, his strong arms, heavy around my shoulders. “Do you want to take a shower or a bath first?”
“No.” Lorand propped me up on my bed removing my shoes. I wanted so badly to take him to task, but as I replayed the night’s events I think about how he did save me. What was he doing there, in a sex club?
“Here, I couldn’t find an ice pack, but I found a package of corn.”
“It’s just as well. I never liked corn anyway.”
“Good because it’s really peas.” He flicked a stray hair off my forehead before pressing the cold vegetables against my face.
“Jerk. Now you’re lying to me about the vegetables in my own freezer.”
“Hey, I got a smile out of you and that counts.”
“I still don’t understand how you came to be here in Karim or why you’ve been entangled in my life so secretively. Or–or why you were in a sex club tonight. It’s unsettling, Lorand.”
“There’s a lot about our situation that is unsettling and I’m trying to unravel the tangles.” Kneeling on the bed next to me he runs his fingers through my messy hair which surprisingly calms me.
“I feel like an idiot for trusting Ella,” and that was a hard truth to face. I was growing tired the more we spent time in the bedroom and I bit back a yawn. He was finally here and I didn’t want him to leave me if I drifted off to sleep.
“She didn’t show you her true self until it was too late, that’s not your fault, Jude.” So why did I feel like it was? Could I trust myself to trust anyone? Could I even trust him?
“And neither have you.” I said sadly.
Eight
LORAND
