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She definitely wasn’t an idiot.
She was blind.
She was perfect.
She was mine.
And I wasn’t being honest wi
th her. Shame heated my face because when, not if she found out, this would all be over faster than a car wreck on the 35 running through Austin. Tossing the frozen vegetables in my general direction, she stalked off the bed on shaking legs as much as she could on her own pushing my helpful hands away. Convincing her that she was mine would be an act in futility. I wanted her, but factors out of my control made sure it would never happen. Jude had always been a feisty thing. It was part of my draw to her and why I could never, might never be able to stay away from her.
I followed her into the kitchen now slamming various items on the counter and pulling food out of the refrigerator.
“Hungry?” Standing out of her way in case she wanted to throw more things, I leaned against the wall, my arms crossed as I asked her what she was doing.
“Yes. No. You never spoke to me in all this time and now….” She waved her arms wide, “This!” She leans against the counter, her fingers white and rigid gripping along the edge, eyes closed.
“I don’t mean to be difficult, but sharing…this is new to me. I’ve never had to explain myself to anyone before.”
“I know. You haven’t said much in all the time you’ve been here with me. Not much has changed except now I have a name and a voice to go with the complete stranger taking over my kitchen and now my life.” She’s pouting, and I don’t feel like doing this tonight. Rehashing the past is brutal and painful to my male ego.
“Jude don’t be a brat.” Even blind her eyebrow rose in challenge.
“You try going through life scared shitless because you have to rely on all your other senses and your intuition which apparently just failed me in the friend department. I’m a ship without any fucking sails or navigation ready to crash into something that’s likely to rip me apart.”
I take a step towards her. “So let me guide you from the storm. I know I’ve fucked things up, but it wasn’t my intent to hurt you. Far from it, but life has a way of complicating things.”
“Is that your excuse now? Complications?”
“No. I’d much rather make sure you’re okay after what happened tonight at the club.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, I do because I found you there. Why were you there and with Ella?”
“Why were you there?” She wants to ask me if I was there with someone. The look is written all over her face even if she can’t see it herself.
“Jude.”
“Please don’t placate me, Lorand. Why were you there?” Her shoulders slumped looking horribly defeated. I wasn’t going to make her suffer needlessly.
“I was meeting someone.”
“Of course you were.”
“For work purposes. Not a woman which is what you really wanted to know.”
“Unlike me.”
“Yes, well maybe a bit rash letting yourself be tied to the cross, but I won’t hold it against you.”
Defiantly, she raised her head looking at me with soulful dark eyes. “You seemed pretty familiar getting me untied from it.” I crossed the kitchen and cupped my hands on her shoulders squeezing them reassuringly when she brushes my off to turn around.
“I’ve been there before.” I’m under no illusion she’ll let any of this go.
“So…you like that? To tie girls up and do those kinds of things to them?”
Scoffing, I’m appalled she puts me into the same category as that scumbag who attacked her and I paced the kitchen to calm myself. My voice is harsh with disgust. “No, Jude. I don’t like to tie up grown ass women against their will, but I do like when they give me permission to bring them to the heights of pleasure under certain restraints.”
