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“That’s bull.”
“Is it?” She wondered. “Why else would a person ‘forget’ to stop an investigation?”
“Because I was distracted.”
“By what? What could possibly be that distracting?” Why she was even bothering to push the issue she didn’t know, other than that she needed to hear him admit the truth.
But his answer wasn’t what she expected. “You,” he said. “You distracted me.”
“With what? My banging body.”
“No, by being yourself. I forgot to call Bob because I was too busy falling in love with you.”
Love? This had to be his idea of a cruel joke. He couldn’t really be in love with her. Could he?
Slowly, she raised her eyes and looked into his. There was so much honesty in their blueness it hurt. “How can you love me? I’m—
“Sweet, wonderful, smart...”
“But the things I did. The life I led.”
“Sweetheart, those are things you did. They aren’t you, not the way you think,” he told her. Suddenly, he was in her space again, his hands cradling her cheeks. “I’m in love with Patience Rush. The woman who was willing to do anything, including sacrifice herself, to keep her sister safe. Who survived despite all the hell life threw at her. The woman who was strong enough to pull her and her sister up from that world. That’s the Patience I’m in love with.”
A tear slipped down Patience’s cheek. “When I think about all those years in the club...”
“Shh. Don’t think about them. They’re in the past.” He kissed her. As gentle and sweet a kiss as she ever experienced. She wished she could hold on to the moment forever.
“Come home, Patience,” he whispered.
Fighting not to cry, she broke away. “I can’t...”
Stuart looked like she’d slapped him. Disappointed and hurt. His expression made the ache in her heart worse. “Can’t or won’t?” he challenged.
“Can’t.” Might as well be honest. The past was too much a part of her to let it go. What if a week from now he changed his mind when he’d had time to think? The rejection would be too much to bear.
“I think you should go,” she told him.
“Patience...”
She shook him off before her resolve could crumble. “Please. If you respect me at all...”
They were the magic words. Stuart took back his touch. “Fine.”
He stopped when he got to the door. Patience didn’t turn around, but she heard the pause in his step. “Just remember, all my anger and mistrust was because you were keeping secrets. I never once judged you for your past. If anything, I have nothing but respect for how you survived. Too bad you can’t cut yourself the same deal.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE TUBE IN the neon e was burned out, turning the sign into “Fathers.” Patience grimaced at the unintentional creepiness.
She wasn’t sure what she was doing here. After Stuart left, she’d tried to call Piper back, but her sister didn’t pick up, so she’d spent the day sitting on the edge of the bed, replaying Stuart’s accusations in her head. She’d spent the night lying in bed doing the same. At first she was angry. How dare he accuse her of having trust issues? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Eventually, however, her emotions turned to the important statements. I love you. His declaration scared her to death. How could he love her? Her. What did the two of them see in her that she didn’t see?
When she finally got out of bed, her thoughts led her here. She stared at the broken neon sign wondering if inside held the answers she was looking for.
The front door of Feathers hadn’t changed in her absence. The faded black door was still covered with stains, the source of which she never wanted to know, and the beer stench, so strong it seeped through the bricks to reach outside, still made her gag. Familiar as it was, however, she felt as if she was standing in someone else’s memory, as if she’d stumbled across an old photograph in a thrift store. Could it be that she’d changed that much in less than a year?
Back when she started at Feathers, she’d had one dream and one dream only: to give Piper a better life. She’d succeeded, too. In fact, she’d go so far as to say she’d done a damn good job. Not only had she given Piper access to a better life, but all of her sister’s dreams were coming true.
Did she dare dream a dream for herself now?
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not as good as anyone else. How often had she drilled those words into her sister’s head? Maybe she’d have done better to drill them into her own.
