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And now I could feel Liss' stare boring into me, just as interested in my answer. Sweat beaded on my brow. She’d been hounding me relentlessly since she saw that stupid damn letter. Risking a quick peek up through a curtain of hair, I caught her and Leon exchanging a silent look. Goddamn. Scrambling to change the subject, I all but screeched into Leon’s ear and clapped my hands together. “Party for Liss' birthday this weekend, yes?”
A firm No and a Fuck, yeah, rang out in unison, and I latched onto the latter like it was a life preserver and I was adrift at sea, a dozen hungry sharks circling me beneath the surface. Party planner I was not, but if I could avoid an unwanted conversation this lunchtime, I’d grab a sparkly binder and plan my sweating ass off.
Liss caught my gaze, flashing me an unmistakable I know what you’re doing look.
Shit.
After making my escape and hiding in the bathroom for the rest of lunch period, I waited until the warning bell sounded before sauntering down the corridor, marginally late for gym, and completely unbothered by that fact. I stopped by my locker and entered the combination, flinging it open before dropping my sweater inside. Gym sucked ass. I’d already decided I had a stomach-ache that would sadly render me incapable of participating today. Volleyball didn’t bother me one way or the other, I could take or leave it. Volleyball with Raya and five of her pumped-up posse? Yeah, I could leave that all day long. Either their aim was atrocious, or they actively tried to land every single ball in my face. Mrs. Carson was too dumb or too blind to notice their skills had not improved one iota and readily accepted the fake ass apologies they sniggered their way through. I wasn’t down for a black eye today, or a suspension after I finally snapped and landed a right hook on Raya’s cheek. No doubt Carson would damn well see that. So... menstrual cramps it was.
Right as the thought entered my mind, another quickly followed. When did I last have menstrual cramps? The effort of stretching my mind back became painful, seriously painful. I stood rooted to the spot, brows pinched together, as I desperately sought information my brain couldn’t supply. I felt my grip clench around the door of my locker, the metal biting into my clammy palms. My heart pounded unevenly in my chest.
I couldn’t breathe.
Come on, come on... when the hell was it? I must know, surely? An ache bloomed between my furrowed brows, quickly spreading across my forehead and down over my face. Fuck. Dropping my bag like it held a bomb, I sank to my knees with a heavy thud, the impact audible, but barely registering in my panicked state. I’d had a period recently. Obviously, I had. I must have. But I couldn’t fucking remember when!
March? February? I couldn’t think. The vines in my head coiled and slithered until I stumbled upon a memory that sent acid straight to my gut. The contents of my stomach threatened to make a reappearance. I’d been staying at Ren’s in the days after Owen and Brett passed and I’d had to go home to get tampons. It was the last unopened box in the cabinet. I’d used all but one and made a mental note to replace them for next time. I hadn’t replaced them. I hadn’t fucking replaced them! Not possible. Not even remotely possible.
That was what... the second to last week in January? No way. We were a week into April. That wasn’t possible. Did it work like that? Why didn’t I know more about this stuff? How the hell did these things work? My mind spun like I was on a tilt-o-whirl, scrambling to piece together all the parts of the puzzle without hyperventilating. If I hadn’t already been on the floor, I’d have hit it like a sack of potatoes. I was going to throw up. My head shot up. Wouldn’t I have been throwing up if... I couldn’t even think about it. Couldn’t bring myself to contemplate the word. Hope swirled in me, pushing me to my feet as I stuffed everything in my locker and slammed it shut. Throwing up. I would have been throwing up. I would have been. I would have.
The pads of my fingers tapped the screen of my phone like I was possessed, letters appearing so fast my eyes couldn’t keep up.
Me: I need you! Right NOW!!!
Three seconds later.
Me: This is fucking urgent, Liss!
I bounced the phone up and down in my open palm impatiently, willing Liss to see it. Relief slammed through me when the little dots materialized on the screen.
Liss: Wtf?
Me: Can you get out of class?
Liss: Sure…
Goddamn. Was she being deliberately vague? Or was that just me freaking the fuck out?
Me: So do it then. Meet me outside the girls’ bathroom by my locker. Please.
No response. Zero dots. Arghhhh.
Me: ALISSA!
Liss: Cool your jets, woman! On my way. It was either leave the class or spew all over Mr. Reynold's shiny brown loafers... he threw me out faster than he could lace up those bad boys.
What felt like a lifetime later, a blonde head rounded the corner. Shooting forward, I snatched her arm and dragged her into the girls’ bathroom behind me.
“What the…?”
“I'm late,” I blurted, interrupting her.
She frowned, smacking gum between her teeth. “So, what else is new? You're always late. Since when do you care?”
I grit my teeth; the words squeezing out between them. “Not late to class, Liss! I'm late, late.”
Her blue eyes widened, meeting mine. “You don't mean...?”
I nodded solemnly, lowering my gaze.
